Fix you
by Iron cheeks
Summary: Clint held onto a lie his whole life. He was a member of hydra. When Shield finds out, Coulson and his team tasked with the job of making him forget Hydra. Things go a little wrong, he doesn't remember hydra but he is seven years old. Watch as Clint learns what it's like to have a family, to go places and meet the avengers all over again.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary** **Clint held onto a secret his whole live. He was a member of Hydra. Coulson and his team were tasked with the job of the erasing Hydra from Clints memory. Things go a little bit wrong, he doesn't remember hydra but he is seven years old. Watch as Clint learns what it is to have a family, be brought places and meet new people.**

 **Clint and Natasha were married before he was deaged.**

 **Warning mentions of child abuse, from Clint previous childhood.**

White, that all I could see before my eyes adjusted to the light. I glanced around the unfamiliar room. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

I tried sitting up but then realised I was strapped down to the bed. My breathing sped up and I began to panic. I heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the door. I hoped it was Barney, but I'm not an idiot. I closed my eyes and just listened, as they entered the room.

"Uhh...Coulson remember how you got us to look after Barton while he went through the Tahiti project" said the man nervously into his phone.

"Yes" sighed the voice from the other end, already sensing something was wrong, "go on".

"Barton uhh..well..he's like 8 or that's what he looks, he hasn't woken up yet." I sighed lightly as he left. Slipping my hands out of the restraints "idiots" I muttered to myself "can't even adjust straps right", I made my way over to the door. I was planning my escape plan from the moment I woke up. I'd go up high, no one searches up high.

"It's locked Barton" I tried to open it anyways.

"Fuck..who even are you?...why are you keeping me here?...this is kidnapping? Not like my parents would care but still...let me go!...fuck sake...this is torture!" She chuckled slightly and just stayed silent with a slight smile on her face. I crawled back onto the bed. "What's your name? I'm Clint" I said looking at her, she was beautiful.

"I am Bobbi, Clint can I ask you how old you are?" She said while smiling at me. "I'm seven, what about you?" I asked curiously. She smiled, "don't you know you should never ask a woman her age?". Shit. I glanced around the room checking for exits. I jumped off the other side of the bed and tried to get the window open. "I'm sorry" I said while wiping my tears away with my sleeve. Men don't cry. I sniffled as my back hit the corner of the wall. "I'm sorry..I didn't mean to..I'm sorry" As Bobbi came over to me, she was looking at me the way mom looked at me, "it's okay Clint..how about we make that our secret I tell-" I panicked. "No! I hate secrets. Please don't make me...please..please don't hurt me" don't scream don't scream don't scream.

Bobbi reached out and took my hand, my whole body tensed up but then relaxed when she put it on her heart. "Do you want to listen to it?" I nodded smiling. "There's that beautiful smile of yours. Come up off the floor." She said as she lied down on the bed, hesitantly I led beside her and listened to her heart. "It would be louder if you took your top off" I said smirking

"Not a chance" she said as she lightly slapped me on the forehead. I chuckled, "worth a try" I mumbled. I noticeably relaxed as I listened to the constant thud of her heart. I closed my eyes, still smiling.

A couple of minutes later i heard the door opening, my body tensed up and I squeezed my eyes shut. "Shh relax Clint it's just Hunter" she said soothingly. I opened my eyes and stared at him then at Bobbi. "Is he bad?" I asked her in a whisper, she looked me straight in the eye. "No, he's good" she said still smiling, I finally relaxed. "Really, I leave you for ten minutes and already you're cheating on me", said Hunter sarcastically. I sat up and looked at Hunter, "Don't hurt her. It's my fault, punish me...don't hurt her". I started to shake. "Don't make her scream" I mumbled. "I was joking kid, I'd never hurt Bob, she might hurt me but that's only when I annoy her. We trust each other not to harm the other" he said while sitting on the seat beside the bed. "Oh" I replied taking it all in. I laid back down listening to Bobbi's heart. "Is this mine?"I asked her curiously, Bobbi nodded. "Never had one before". Bobbi frowned, "what a room?" I chuckled "no, a bed". I relaxed into the protective feeling of covers surrounding me. It felt unfamiliar but nice.

"Why am I in here? I don't feel sick" I asked curiously after minutes of silence. Bobbi and Hunter shared a glance before both saying "that's classified" in unison. It freaked me out. "Can I leave this room?...please...I mean am I allowed to...uh...may I have permission to go to the toilet?" I said nervously, feeling a wave of nausea come over me. I got up and ran for the bathroom, puking up green stuff.

I walked back into the room clutching my stomach. "Clint are you okay?" Bobbi asked me as she got up to help me onto the bed. "Would you like to go into the kitchen and we get you something to eat?" She asked me, the cramps in my stomach were unbearable but I had been thought long ago what happens to children who complain. "No thank you..I don't want to be a burden." I said as my mouth started watering. "You sure Clint?" You won't get in trouble for wanting something to eat.", Bobbi asked. "Are you hungry Clint?" Hunter asked me. I took a deep breathe, trying to ignore the pain. "I won't get hit?" Bobbi smiled at me, her smile makes me feel calmer. "No you won't get hit" she said to me. "Do you want something to eat then?" Hunter asked me again. I nodded. "Use your words Clint" Bobbi said, still smiling. "May I have granola?" I said causing Hunter and Bobbi to chuckle. "Of course you can have granola, Clint, come on into the kitchen" she said and I followed her in. "Are you my new parents?" I asked as Hunter sat me on the counter. "What..uhh..we're not...not anymore...well we're...no we're not your new parents" he stuttered shocked at my question. I felt tears building up in my eyes, I climbed up the presses and crouched on the top shelf.

"I'm sorry...it's just you're really nice..both of you..and I get my own room and a bed and blankets and new pyjamas and there's no really long list of rules and i get granola...and you don't ..hurt me" I said sobbing while hugging my legs against my chest. "Please don't make me go back"

"Clint it's okay, you're staying with us but we're not your parents. You still have to do as we say but we're not gonna punish you or ignore you. We're just keeping you safe." Bobbi said smiling, I climbed down and into her arms, lying my head in the crook of her neck. She sat down and put a plate full of broken up granola bars in front of us. I looked at her with wide eyes. Bobbi giggled, "why do you look so shocked Clint?". I smiled, "Is it all for me?" I asked before digging in, not waiting for a reply.

"Are you full?" Bobbi asked me when I had finished eating. I shook my head, testing them to see if I could get more food. "How about some ice-cream?" Hunter smiled while asking me. I looked down, feeling ashamed that I don't what ice cream is. I felt tears build up again. "Or a cookie or a bar or a banana or yoghurt or an apple lattice or bread and jam." He continued. "Bread and jam please" I said confidently, while smiling, before sitting up and kneeling on Bobbi's lap and whispering quietly in her ear "What's ice cream?". She was shocked for a second but then smiled again. "It's a desert, it's white and fluffy and really cold because you freeze it before you eat it, and it's really yummy"

"Can I have ice cream? I'll eat the bread and jam first" I asked hopeful that I'd get both. "Of course you can, Hunter take out the ice cream". Hunter did as Bobbi told him and then handed me a plate with bread and jam sandwiches. Hunter and Bobbi talked while I ate.

"I'm finished! Can I try ice cream now? Please please please" I said, while jumping up and down on Bobbi's lap. Hunter handed me a bowl full of it, it was all different colours and flavours.

I tensed when I heard knocking at the door. Bobbi put me down and her and Hunter crept towards the door with guns ready to shoot. I felt the colour drain from my body.

"Why do you have guns? Where did you get them from?" I frowned trying to hold back the tears I ran and hid on top of the highest kitchen press. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

"Clint come here!" It's okay it's just Coulson. You don't have to hide" Bobbi called out to me. I swung my legs over the side and reached out trying to feel the counter. "Clint come here now" Hunter called out to me. I got fright knowing that voice sounded angry. I slipped and whacked my head off the counter and falling onto the floor head first.

 **Thanks for reading, more coming soon. Please review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

I woke up on the couch, it was soft and comfy and there's lots of pillows. There was a man dressed in a black suit sitting across from me, he had a comic book, with the American flag on it, resting on his lap. He was asleep. I quickly and quietly went into the kitchen, dining room and up the stairs looking for Bobbi. I felt sick in my stomach. Bobbi said I could stay. I stopped when I heard a faint noise coming from one of the rooms, it was muffled. I opened the door slowly. Bobbi and Hunter were arguing. Don't scream.

"Get off of her..stop hurting her" I screamed at Hunter as I pulled on his leg through the sheets. I fell backwards, pulling the sheets with me, exposing them both. "Ugh..uhh Clint get out", Hunter shouted at me" I untangled myself from the sheets and tried to get Hunter to stop hurting Bobbi. "No! I won't let you hurt her" I said as I slowly stepped backwards, tripping on the sheets. I fell to the ground and pushed myself up against the corner of the wall. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. I felt tears building up in my eyes. Men don't cry, don't scream, don't scream. I started panting trying to get some air. I hugged my knees and began to shake. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...please don't hurt her...please don't hurt her".

"Clint shut up" Hunter screamed at me. "Don't tell him to shut up he's having a fucking panic attack" Bobbi said as she put a robe on. "Clint it's okay...Hunter wasn't hurting me", Bobbi said as she took my hand and put it on her bare chest, I could feel her heartbeat. Hunter sat up, I flinched while trying to catch my breath. "I'm sorry Clint for scaring you..and for shouting at you" Hunter said sincerely. I took deep breathes trying to calm myself down. "I'm sorry", I said while wiping my tears on my sleeve. "What were you doing?" I could see a look of fear mixed with panic in their eyes. "Uhh, we were sparring" said Hunter. "What's sparring?" I asked confused "and why do you have to be naked?" They both smiled and laughed nervously. "This is sparring" said Bobbi as she sat on me, holding me there and tickled me until I was coughing and gasping for air. "Stop..no don't..no...please" I said in between laughs.

"Clint, how did you get passed Coulson?" Hunter asked me. "Who?", I frowned while looking down. "The guy in the suit", Bobbi said smiling. "Is he here to take me away?" I said nervously, half not wanting to know the answer. Bobbi and Hunter looked at me with sympathy. "Can we work it out?" I said looking at Hunter. "Can we be a family? I promise I'll be better, I promise" I turned to Bobbi, "Bobbi I'll do anything. Please don't make me go", I sobbed as I clung to her. She ran her finger through my hair, massaging it. "You're not going anywhere Clint, you're staying with us". "I got passed the suit cause he fell asleep" I admitted, still clinging to Bobbi. My eyes started to droop, I let them close and drifted off into a deep sleep in Bobbi's arms.

I woke up in a huge bed, their bed. It smelled like Bobbi and Hunter, I instantly relaxed. With my eyes still closed I called out to them."Bobbi...Hunter..Bobbi" There's was no reply, I opened my eyes to find myself alone. I got up and went searching for them. I went into the kitchen and found the suit reading a newspaper. "Good morning, sir. Do you know where Bobbi and Hunter are?" I asked as politely as possible. "Good morning Clint, they're are in the gym. I'm Phil Coulson, by the way." He said smiling. "Where's the gym?" I asked him. "Kids aren't allowed in the gym", Coulson said, "it's too dangerous, I'll bring you to it but only to speak to Bobbi and Hunter, okay?" He said sternly. "Okay" I said with a smile.

I followed Coulson to the gym. It was a very confusing route. Coulson knocked on the window as Bobbi did an aerial avoiding a punching. "Wow" I said in awe. They stopped sparring and Bobbi got a bottle of water before coming out to us. I signalled for her to bend down. "I'm hungry", I whispered in her ear. I looked down, half expecting a smack and no food for a few days. Bobbi smiled, "you dragged Coulson down here just to tell me that you're hungry?" She questioned me. "I'm sorry..I'm okay I don't need food" I said panicking. "Clint it's okay to ask anyone of us for food if you're hungry, okay?" I nodded shyly. "How about we go upstairs and Hunter makes us all pancakes? That sound good" I nodded, licking my lips. "I love pancakes" I ran into the gym and dragged Hunter out. "Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!" I chanted excitedly.

Bobbi picked me up as we went to the kitchen. "Can I go outside later?" I asked hopeful that I wouldn't be denied. "Uhh, it's up to Coulson" Hunter replied to me. I looked down and mumbled "never mind". Bobbi frowned. "Clint? What do you have against Coulson?" She put me on the counter. "Nothing" I muttered. "Nothing's not an answer Clint" Bobbi said with a stern look on her face, waiting for an answer. "He reminds me of someone", I said craving in, "my..uhh social worker. It might not seem like a big deal but he used to take me out on day trips, in his car. We'd go lots of places like mountains, beaches, desserts, forests, places like that, where there would be no one else there." I took a deep breathe before continuing. I could see a flash of anger in Bobbi's eyes,"he used to uhh..to..tou...me...you know...down there...he'd also make me put his..." I said through heavy sobbing. Bobbi had a look of pure anger on her face, it frightened me. I jumped down and ran into Hunter's arms. They wrapped around me protectively.

"Hey Clint, I'm really sorry that I remind you of that guy, but I am not one bit like him. I want to protect you and love you" I looked over at him,"please don't hate me Clint." I slowly let go of Hunter and walked over to Coulson, "I don't hate you, I just don't trust you..yet" I smiled hoping that was enough. "Thank you Clint and you're allowed go outside once you're with one of us." I nodded happily, "Thank you sir".

I ran over to Bobbi, disrupting her conversation with Hunter. "I can go outside, let's go outside. Can I go climb trees? Or can we go to the playground? Or to a park? Or to a swimming pool? Or the beach?" I rambled on. Bobbi smiled down at me "or we could go shopping?", she said while smirking, then continued to talk to Hunter.

Not wanting to interrupt the adults, I left and wandered around the giant house, eventually I found the gym."Coulson doesn't have to know" I muttered to myself as I walked in. It took ages but eventually I got the mats all lined up. I stretched before doing lots of gymnastics tricks. I only stopped when I was hot and panting for air. I got some water and got ready to continue, but I realised that the pancakes were probably ready. I ran to the kitchen, bumping into Coulson on the way.

"I'm sorry sir", I felt my heart speed up. "Clint where were you?" Shit. I panicked and ran the other way. "Bobbi! Help!" I screamed as I ran into my room and climbed up on top of the wardrobe. "I didn't mean to scare you Clint, please come down" I could see the sadness in his eyes. "I want Bobbi!" I shouted as tears streamed down my face. "Bobbi's gone to work...it's just us two". Coulson sighed. No she wouldn't leave me, "I want Bobbi!...I want Bobbi...I want Bobbi" I said in between sobs. I started panting trying to get air. "Please..don't..touch me"

My mind raced, a million different thoughts at once. It was over whelming. I thought back to when my social worker, Mr. Cassidy, took me to the mountains. He shoved me onto the ground. I didn't make a sound as he thumped into me. "It hurts, , it hurts" I mumbled.

"Clint! Wake up! Clint! You're not with him. You're safe with me, Clint."

I opened my eyes and just stared at him for a second. "Catch me?" I asked him before jumping of the wardrobe. He caught me, I hugged him tightly. "Don't let me go", I said while sobbing into his shoulder.

 **Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A couple of hours later, I was sitting watching TV when Bobbi came home, "hey kiddo, how was your day?" She said sitting down next to me. I sat in silence continuing to watch my show. "Clint please answer me" I looked away from her, "No, you left me", I sighed. "Clint, I'm sorry I really am but I had to go to work. How about I make it up to you? Uh, will we go to the park tomorrow?" I grinned and nodded "yes please". I crawled into her lap and snuggled up against her. Bobbi wrapped her arms around me. "There's some people I want you to meet Clint, okay?" I nodded against her chest. "Okay..you're comfy" I said as I snuggled up closer.

A man with an eyepatch, a woman with red hair and a woman with brown hair walked in. Nervously, I turned around and sat properly on Bobbi's lap. They sat down and just stared at me like I was some kind of freak, the red head looked hurt. She was very good at hiding it, but I can see right through that.

"Hi" I said shyly. "I honestly don't know what to say" the brown head said, I smiled "you could start with your name, I'm Clint." Bobbi smiled at me being confident around strangers. "My name is Natasha Romanoff," the red head smiled as she continued "that is Maria Hill and this is Nick Fury". I nodded and smiled at Natasha, "You're pretty". Natasha smiled back at me. "Where'd you get the eye patch? Can I have one?" I asked Nick. He chuckled and told me the answer,"in the war". I moved around trying to get maximum comfort out of Bobbi's lap. Natasha looked down, she looked uncomfortable.

"Can I have a blanket? Please" I asked Bobbi with puppy dog eyes. "Of course Sweetheart" she responded, still smiling,"Hunter get Clint a blanket". He did as he was asked while mumbling about being a slave to Bobbi and me. "Here you go your highness" said Hunter as he tucked me into the blanket. "Mm thank you" I said as I drifted off to sleep.

"Clint..Clint wake up. It's 6 am, it's time to get up" I heard Bobbi's voice as she shook me. "No, too early" I mumbled as I turned away from her. I listened to her moving around my room, pulling clothes out of the wardrobe, fixing and tidying things. I relaxed knowing Bobbi was there. I turned around, opening my eyes to watch her. Bobbi picked up all my clothes, she organised my desk and she wiped down everything. "I'll be in my room with Hunter, don't disturb us, if you need anything ask Natasha, okay? And I'll come find you at about 10 or 11 to go to the park" Bobbi ordered me. I nodded, before getting up, dressed and presentable, and going to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Natasha" I said to her, but she ignored me. "Bobbi said I have to stay with you while she's with Hunter." I said as Natasha drank the last sup of her coffee. "Natasha? May I have ..uhh can I...I'm um-" I asked Natasha cut me off. "Yes you can have food, Clint. What would you like?" She smiled at me, I felt nervous. I looked down nothing wanting to demand anything. Natasha knelt down to my height, "How about granola and a glass of milk?"

I nodded "yes please". "Good boy" Natasha smiled at me and got me granola and milk.

I took a sip before asking "what are Hunter and Bobbi doing?" Natasha frowned "that's none of your business hawk boy". I made puppy dog eyes at her, "Please tell me". "No Clint" she said dismissing me. "Please", I asked while pouting my lips. Natasha laughed, "why do you want to know anyways?" I frowned thinking about yesterday. I stared at her eyes, they were a beautiful green, highlighted by her fiery red hair. "I thought I saw Hunter raping Bobbi last night, they said that they were sparring but they were naked and he was you know...hard..." I looked down expecting to be hit. I don't know why but I felt like could trust Natasha.

There was a silence before Natasha took my arm and dragged me up to Bobbi and Hunters' room. "Don't hurt me! Let go! Please..no! I'm sorry", I sobbed as I struggled to get out her grip. "Stop!" She said in a threatening tone. I sniffled as Natasha knocked on their door.

"Bobbi, Hunter I didn't mean to interrupt but Clint really needs yous to explain something to him", I could hear hustling and zipping before Bobbi opened the door. She looked pissed off. She was wearing Hunters t-shirt from the day before, and a pair of shorts. Hunter wrapped his arms around Bobbi, my instinct told me he was going to hurt her but Bobbi visibly relaxed in his arms. Hunter was wearing just jeans. "Clint what do you need us to explain?" Hunter asked me. "Nothing, it's okay" I said trying to get out of Natasha's grip. "Clint tell them what you told me" Natasha ordered me. I couldn't, I still like Hunter, I don't want him to turn against me. "No! Let me go" I demanded. Natasha sighed, "okay but don't run". She let me go and made a run for it, only to trip over her leg.

"I'm sorry" I said as I backed away from them. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. Bobbi knelt down to be at my level. "Come here Clint", she said gently, but I'd fallen for that tone too many times. I shook my head, feeling the tears build up. Men don't cry. "It's okay, I won't hurt you. I want to hear what you have to say." I thought of my father, "children should be seen, not heard" I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the floor. "Clint" Bobbi said in a desperate tone. I looked up at her with sad, frightened eyes. I inhaled a deep breathe before slowly crawling onto her lap. I still didn't have the courage to tell them. Bobbi wrapped her arms around me as I hugged her. I looked up at Hunter, there was a bulge in his jeans. "Does he hurt you", I whispered in Bobbi's ear. "No, he doesn't. He makes me really happy and relaxed." Bobbi told me with a smile. "I thought he was raping you...", Bobbi stayed silent, "what were you doing?" Bobbi smiled, "sparring, remember like we told you". I felt anger building up in me, I slapped Bobbi. "No! Stop lying!" I screamed as I hit her trying to get away. She picked me up and brought me into her room, placing me on the bed, I continued to scream. "Stay there", Bobbi said in a threatening tone. As she walked back out to Hunter.

I quickly jumped off the bed and hid in the wardrobe. I could hear the adults talking about me. "He thinks you raped me", I recognised that as Bobbi's voice. I heard sighing, there was silence. Then, I heard muffled words "scared...help him...we were fucking...shut up...love...fix him...miss the...Barton...no...park...after...we fix him" I drowned them out after that. What did they want to fix? What is wrong with me? I thought I was being good. Maybe, if I stop asking for things I can stay. Or maybe if I stay out of sight. I heard the door opening, I jumped out of the wardrobe and onto the bed. "I'm sorry, I was hiding, I'm scared." I wanted to ask her why they wanted to fix me, what I had done wrong and if we were still going to the park, but I thought better of it and kept my mouth shut. "It's okay, Clint. Me and Hunter need to explain something to you now and we need you to listen very care fully. You're not in trouble, okay?"I nodded"Hunter come in", Bobbi called out to him, seconds later he came in and sat on the bed beside me. Bobbi sat on his lap.

I frowned, but stayed silent. "Do you know what love is, Clint?", Bobbi asked me. I shook my head. She smiled as she looks at Hunter. "Love is happiness. Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. It feels like a spark. Like you want to see that one person everyday, but still doesn't feel like enough time to spend together. Love is sacrifice, wanting to put someone else's happiness a head of your own. Hell, even putting your safety ahead of your own. I'd take a bullet for Hunter, and he'd do the same. Love can be between two people or it can be between brothers, or parents." I frowned when Bobbi mentioned parents. All I got from my parents was pain, I still remained quiet. "I know you love your brother, or you might love a puppy, but being in love is different. I am in love with Hunter. I trust him to protect me, respect me, honour me, cherish me, trust me and for I do the same for him. Every time I look at him, I feel my heart pounding. Sometimes I don't know what to say to him, but I don't have to because he knows how I'm feeling without me even saying a word. When I see Hunter, I just want to Kiss and hug him and make as much contact as possible." Bobbi smiled taking a break for a couple of seconds."There's this thing called making love. You only do it when you're an adult and all adults love to do it. It's a very private act and we don't like to be interrupted during it. That's what you caught us doing the other day."

Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I had so many questions but I didn't want to be demanding or annoying, I stayed quiet waiting for them to let me go. "Do you still want to go to the park Clint?", Hunter asked me. "I don't mind" I really want to go"it's up to you, I don't want to be a burden" I smiled, even though I still felt sad. It's really nice here and I really want to stay. "Can you be ready in an hour, breakfast, dressed, shoes, teeth, jacket and ready to go?" I smiled excitedly, "yes yes yes thank you. May I go now to get ready?" They smiled at me, before Bobbi replied, "go".

Natasha escorted me to my room, I put on shorts and at t-shirt with a purple target of it. I love purple. I got shoes and socks on and did my teeth before going to the kitchen to finish my breakfast. I sighed seeing that the granola and milk were gone. I guess that means no breakfast. I was about to leave before I heard Natasha, "it's in the fridge, I didn't know how long you'd be." I grinned taking the food out and eating it. Halfway through eating, I remembered the conversation I over heard. I don't know what to do. Normally, I'd tell Barney but he's not here. I couldn't finish the granola. I pushed it away from me. Natasha frowned,"Clint what's wrong you're not finishing your food. You always finish it, in fear that you won't get more." I took in a shaken breathe. She was right, but how did she know? Bobbi walked in right on time for me to dismiss her question, "you ready Clint? Ugh, Clint your hairs a mess" Bobbi complained. I quickly ran my fingers through it trying to fix it. "I'm sorry, I forgot..you didn't say...I was trying to do as you asked..I'm sorry I disappointed you. I'm sorry Bobbi." Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. "Clint it's okay. Is it alright if it's more than just the two of us?" She asked me, I nodded"yes, it's okay." I said remembering to use my words. I smiled as Natasha strapped me in. Hunter got in the drivers seat, Bobbi beside him, Natasha, Coulson and me in the back.

Coulson sat beside me, I pouted wanting Bobbi or Natasha. Coulson was wearing the suit again, he reminded me of . Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. I didn't want to complain. I felt sick in my stomach. The journey was long and boring. When we finally reached the park, I was bursting to go toilet. "I'll bring him" Coulson offered. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. They promised to not hurt me. My breathing got heavier as Coulson took my hand and directed me to the toilets. As we got to the entrance, I stopped walking, fear building up in me. "Come on, Clint" Coulson said as he pulled me inside. "No! Let go! You promised you wouldn't hurt me!" I sobbed, drawing in a crowd. Coulson tried to dismiss them to no success. Realising the attention that I gained, I started to shake and sob. I ran into Coulson's arms. Hoping it would lesson my punishment."I'm sorry, I was only messing" I shook in his arms. "He just messing, you know how kids are." Coulson told them before carrying me over to Bobbi.

"Bobbi!" I exclaimed reaching out for her. I cried into her shoulder, soaking her top. "I'm sorry. Please can we stay at the park." I said trying to put off my punishment until later. "Yeah, we can stay at the park Clint." I smiled and hugged her tighter. Natasha shifted uncomfortably, she didn't seem to like how close I am to Bobbi. I didn't really care. Bobbi put me down in the playground, I climbed to the top of the climbing frame and looked out at the trees, wanting to climb them instead. They are so much taller and more of a challenge to climb. Heights relaxed me. I thought about earlier, their conversation and about what happened with Coulson.

Silent tears ran down my face. I didn't want to gain more attention, I got down and went over to Bobbi. They were talking and didn't notice me walking up to them. "He's causing too much trouble, he panics too much." Natasha and hunter nodded. "He makes me really sad, he eats one meal a day and he's delighted", added Natasha. "We have to find somewhere for him to stay permanently". Bobbi told them. They all nodded in agreement. "You said that I could stay!" I shouted as I ran out of the playground and into the forest. Tears continued to flow as I climbed as much as I could up one of the trees. I heard them shouting my name for hours on end. They sounded really worried. I wanted to go down and hug Bobbi and Natasha but I knew it wouldn't be that simple. I was defiantly in trouble now, hopefully I wouldn't get too many broken bones. "Clint!...Clint!" I could hear Natasha shout from underneath me. I couldn't see her, it's too dark. I sobbed wanting to be held and protected, I'm scared. "Natasha" I mumbled through sobs. "Clint?" She asked in a hopeful tone. "Natasha I'm scared...don't make me leave. I like it here. I feel like I belong. Everyone is friendly to me" I sobbed. Natasha looked up, despite the darkness she could see me. "Can you come down Clint?", I nodded before slowly making my way down the tree. I could see sympathy in her eyes. I hugged her and cried dry tears. Natasha texted the others telling them that she found me, while carrying me back to the car park.

"We managed to break and lose a seven year old" Bobbi said as she hugged Hunter. "Well I can tick that off my buck list", Hunter said joking, which earned him a slap. I ran over to them and tipped Bobbi on the leg, I looked down "I'm sorry, Bobbi", I said before she lifted me up in a giant hug almost squeezing me to death. I sobbed onto her shoulder. "Have you been crying this entire time?", I nodded"why?, why did you run away?" I relaxed slightly in her arms. "I heard you saying that you wanted to send me off to somewhere else. That I'm too much of a burden," I sobbed louder,"I can be better, I don't need food everyday. I'll stop demanding attention, you won't know I'm there. I won't ask for anything. I'll be a good boy. You won't have to wake me up in the morning, I'll wake up myself. I'll stop having panic attacks. I'll stay in my room. I'll do anything. Please let me stay. I love it here. The orphanage is torture." I pleaded as I held on tighter to her. I felt tears on my forehead, looking up I saw that Bobbi was crying. "Why are you crying? I'm sorry I made you cry. I'll be good, I promise. I'm sorry...I'm sorry" I continued to sob the whole way home and throughout the night before eventually I drifted off to sleep.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I woke up in between Bobbi and Hunter. I wanted to stay there, to go back to sleep, but that wouldn't be being a good boy. I snuck out of the room and bumped into Natasha. "How come your leaving their room, you seemed to be content and happy throughout the night." I smiled, "to let them make love like they do every morning". Natasha bursted out laughing. When she was finished she offered me breakfast, I refused. Smiling, I went to my room. I found a ball and played with it against the wall. My stomach hurt, but staying here is more important.

A couple of hours later, Bobbi and Hunter came into my room asking me if I wanted to go for pizza and ice cream. "No thank you" I refused as politely as I could, my stomach betrayed me by demonstrating a fucking whale call. "Clint come on you're coming with us. I know we don't punish you for much, but we will if you try to starve yourself. We are no where near short on food, that clear?",Bobbi told me in a threatened tone. I nodded. Before getting dressed and following them outside, into the car.

Hunter strapped me in before driving to the pizza place. I sat on Bobbi's lap and played with her necklace. It is a white gold locket in the shape of a love heart, it opened up to show a picture of two kids,"who are they?" Bobbi smiled looking at it,"my sister and I, it was hers, she gave it to me one year and I never took it off since". I studied the tiny picture carefully, "where is she now?", I asked her. "In heaven". I smiled, "She's safe there".

We ordered two pizzas and they were huge, one had pepperoni and the other had chicken and bacon. I wanted to stay on Bobbi's lap, but a good boy eats on his own side. The pizza was warm and delicious, I ate as much as I could, not knowing when I'd next get to eat. "You still hungry enough for ice cream buddy?", Hunter asked me. "I'm always hungry" I said looking down, it was the truth. I wanted to test them to see how they'd react. Most of the other families would hit me for complaining. They both smiled at me, "you don't have to be hungry anymore", Hunter told me. I smiled wishing that it was true. "Not having the constant pain would be nice", I mumbled. Hunter ordered ice cream for us. Hunter and Bobbi are sharing a triple scoop with cherry on top while I got my own banana split. When the ice cream came, Bobbi took the cherry and placed it between her teeth, her and Hunter kissed and sucked on the cherry. They broke apart a few seconds later, hunter spat the cherry stone out. "Eww" was all I could say. They both just laughed and ate the ice cream. I smiled while eating my banana split. "You finished?" Bobbi asked me when I took my final scoop. I nodded. The drive home was silent. Once we got home I went straight to my room, not wanting to cause trouble. I got into my pyjamas and found the ball I was playing with earlier. I threw it against the wall, hitting the same spot every time.

Hunter came in a while later, I let the ball drop and sat up properly. "You can relax Clint", I took a deep breath, visibly relaxing. "I wanted to talk to you about yesterday. What did you hear that has made you this upset, and don't say you're not upset. You didn't stop crying yesterday until you were asleep. Even today I can tell that it's still bothering you." Hunter questioned me. I sighed"I over heard your conversation before you talked to me about love. I heard a yous saying that I need to be fixed..then at the park he heard yous say that I panic too much, I'm a burden, I don't eat enough, and that I need somewhere permanent to stay. Then the incident with Coulson happened and I was sure you were going to kick me out."Hunter sighed,"you're staying here Clint, you're not going anywhere and there's nothing you can do that will change that." I smiled before asking "is there rules?" Hunter nodded and listed them off, "and finally be yourself, not this good kid you imagine you have to be. We want you to be happy and be you." He smiled, "now come downstairs Natasha really needs a cuddle" I grinned and followed him downstairs and into the sitting room.

Natasha was asleep with a blanket over her. She started whimpering like a little puppy. "Is she having a nightmare? Should we wake her up?" Hunter nodded as I stepped closer to her. "Natasha...Natasha...please wake up" I said as I shock her a little. Before I knew it, I was lying on my back with my arms held down above my head. I felt fear build up before Natasha opened her eyes, grief mixed with anger mixed with sadness flash through them, "are you okay?" I asked her. "Hunter said you needed a cuddle." Natasha smiled, letting me go, lying back down on the couch. I lay beside Natasha and hugged her. She was warm and comfy like a pillow. I drew circles on her arm. "How do you make your arms strong, without looking muscled?" I asked curiously. "Conditioning" Natasha mumbled, half asleep. I ran my fingers through her hair, Natasha relaxed against my touch. "Mm my hawk", Natasha mumbled as she cuddled closer to me. I grinned, "yep I'm your hawk". Maybe I won't be sent away. I relaxed, closing my eyes. I snuggled for a while before I heard Natasha mumbling, "Clint I want you back". I frowned, "I'm right here Natasha". I heard sobs,"no I want the real Clint back". I frowned, confused. This that what they meant by fixing me? I stayed silent. Fixing sounded painful, I felt fear rise up in me. My father had tried to fix me before, said I talked too much. I spent a week with a strap of duct tape over my mouth and woke up in hospital with dehydration, a drip slowly feeding me. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

"Clint why are you tense?" Natasha asked me as she woke up. I took shaky breath, "I don't want to be fixed again", I said trying not to let the tears fall. Men don't cry. Natasha ran a hand through my hair. "What?" She asked me confused. "Please don't fix me, it hurts." I begged her as I tried to get out of her arms. Natasha's grip tightened. "Clint listen to me. There is nothing to fix". Natasha was lying. "Yes, there is. I heard you. All of you. You want to fix me! You want to get rid of me! I'm not good enough for you!" I screamed at her as I bit her hands to get her to let go. She didn't budge, what the hell was she a machine? "Clint we aren't sending you away anywhere and we're not trying to fix you either. We love you, Clint. And we want you to stay". I looked up at her, her eyes were filled with sincerity. "You said that you wanted the real Clint back", I said while playing with the strings off her hoodie. "I was dreaming", she said smiling. I smiled back at her. "I'm sorry about your hand". Natasha ran her hand through my hair, "it's okay, it's nothing".

Bobbi knocked before coming in, "Hunter made cookies", she said while holding a plate full of cookies. "There biscuits not cookies", Hunter told her from behind. He wrapped his arms around Bobbi protectively. I smiled as I took a cookie. "Where are you from Hunter?", I asked him. "England" he replied with a smile. "Oh where's that?" The cookie was warm, it melted in my mouth and it had Nutella in the centre. "Europe." I nodded, only caring about the deliciousness of he cookie. "I need more" I said as I grabbed another cookie and bit into it.

"Have you talked to Coulson about the side effects of project Tahiti?" Natasha asked Hunter. "Yea, he's looking into with what is left of shield, seeing what they can do. Although he doesn't seem very keen to reverse the effects". They all looked sad at that. "What's project Tahiti?" They all went silent. "I'm sorry", I said as I lay down cuddling into Natasha. "It's okay, my hawk" Natasha whispered to me. "I'm worried about if the system gets involved". Bobbi said which made me frown. "No please, don't put me back in he system with " I begged, holding back tears. Men don't cry. "We could adopt...", Bobbi said looking at Hunter. "I looked up at them hoping they were talking about me. "We'll talk about that later, when little ears aren't listening." Hunter said glancing over at me. Natasha smiled sadly at me, while running her fingers through my hair.

I played with the ring on her left hand. "Where's your husband?", I asked her. Natasha opened her mouth, trying to think of something to say but closed it again. She sighed before she got up and left the room. I curled up into a ball. I didn't like hurting people's feeling. "Don't Clint, let her have time to herself.", Hunter told me. " no I have to, I hurt her feelings, I have to make sure Natasha is alright", I told them before going to find Natasha.

I heard sobbing coming from my room, I opened the door slowly. "Natasha?", I said slowly walking towards the bed, where she lay curled up in a ball. "I'm sorry I asked about him", I said as I got in beside her "I'm going to lie beside you, okay? And I'm gonna hug you because you're sad and in need of a hug." I hugged Natasha, letting her listen to my heartbeat. Her hair smelled like strawberries. Natasha's sobbing stopped as she slowly began to relax. I smiled and held onto her tighter. "How did you know to come after me?", Natasha asked after a while. I thought about it before coming to the conclusion that it was because "that's what I'd want someone to do for me." Natasha smiled looking up at me. "Clint you're the sweetest boy I've ever met...most men just want to use me or hurt me..", Natasha confessed to me. "No woman should ever be hurt, especially beautiful women like you. They should be cherished and have presents bought for them and protected and held and be respected." Natasha looked up at me, "I don't deserve any of that Clint. I deserve torture and pain, but I don't expect you to understand.", Natasha told me. "No Tasha..I mean Natasha...you deserve to be happy with you husband, and to make love to him every night." I said while smiling, Natasha laughed. "You sound just like him...I wish I could just take you home with me" I smiled sadly knowing I can't leave here. "Stay here?" I said in a hopeful tone, "sleep with me". Natasha smiled and nodded, "okay, I'll stay here". I grinned and hugged her tighter. "Do we have to go to sleep now? Cause I'm not tired...can we go outside and look at the hawks?" I asked her. Natasha smiled, "how about we go up to the roof?" I nodded happily.

When we got up there, I sat on Natasha's lap with a blanket over us. She wanted me to sit with the blanket just over me but I wouldn't let her be cold. "Can we sit on the edge?" I side her, Natasha shook her head, making me pout. "Aww, who's cute when they pout". I chuckled. "Did you know that each star has a different meaning and story behind it?" I said while looking up at them. "Really? What does that one mean?" She asked me while pointing to a star. I shrugged, "I never said I knew the stories, but I'll guess that the story is about this magic bridge, it's really far away. It lights up only at night so that we can see where we are going." Natasha smiled and hugged me tighter, I felt my whole body relax. I let my eyes slip closed and woke up in my room, with my head lying against Natasha's chest. "What time is it?" I asked her, only half awake. "6am", Natasha replied while running her hands through my hair. "Can I go back to sleep?" Natasha nodded. I hugged her and closed my eyes, instantly falling back asleep. Memories of baking with my mother flooded my dreams.

 **Thanks for reading**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6. They realise just how smart Clint is.**

I woke up to the sound of Bobbi and Natasha talking, keeping my eyes closed I listened. "This must be really hard on you", Bobbi said. "Yea it is. At least I have a part of him...I was talking to him yesterday and some of his morals haven't changed", Natasha told Bobbi. "Really? Like what." I imagined Natasha smiling, her breathing and pulse were slow and calm. "The reason he saved me all those years ago, was because he believes women shouldn't be hurt, they should be happy and loved, it's really sweet. He also told me the reason he followed me up here was because he would've wanted the same." I tried not to smile, still acting like I'm asleep. "Aww he's adorable. I wish Hunter was like that, instead I'm a hell beast", Bobbi said with a laugh. "How long do you think he's gonna pretend to sleep for?" Natasha said, I smiled. "He'll move when we tickle him in 5...4...3...2", I jumped up trying to run, only to have Natasha hold me back while Bobbi tickled me. I squirmed as I died from laughter.

"Pax, pax" I coughed through the laugher. They both stopped and frowned at me. "You speak Latin?" Natasha asked me curiously. I shrugged, causing Natasha to frown, "good boys don't lie Clint". I smiled, "I didn't lie, I avoided the truth". I hoped that they'd drop it but apparently not. "From a friend...Jazz Shitwell." I said in a giggle. Natasha chuckled,"was his proper name Jasper?", she asked me. I nodded, "do you know him? He was my friend. He was a rich and learnt Latin like rich people do. He taught to me and in return I taught him how to fight dirty." I said as I snuggled into Natasha. They spoke to each other in Russian, i stayed silent. [IN RUSSIAN] "Do you think he was told about Hydra from a young age?" Bobbi asked her. "God I hope not, I don't want to have to raise a two year old" Natasha said as she ran her fingers through my hair. "Knowing them they'd probably opt for the easy way". I frowned. [IN ENGLISH] "what's the easy way?" I asked them. Bobbi sighed, "you speak Russian too?" I smiled and nodded. "Clint how many languages do you speak?" I shrugged, I had made a pact with Jasper that I'd never tell anyone about our friendship. I'd broken it already, I didn't want to break it anymore.

"Clint" Natasha said in a serious tone. I smiled, "Natasha". I knew I'd probably be hit for talking back. "Don't make me put you in the lie detector", she threatened. Shit. "I made a pact with Jasper not to tell", I told them. "I don't want to break it". Bobbi sighed, "Clint it's okay to tell us, we'll keep it a secret", Bobbi said as she smiled. I stared at her before answering "eleven languages, some Jasper taught me, others I learnt from books" they were audio books, but they didn't need to know that. Natasha nodded,"okay, then". I smiled"can we get breakfast, please?" Bobbi nodded,"I'll bring him down so that you can get ready". I hugged Natasha and pecked her on the lips before running off giggling. "Looks like someone has a crush", Bobbi said with a smirk before leaving to get me breakfast.

"Clint, do you want granola and milk?", Bobbi asked. I smiled, "can I have cookies and milk?", I grinned already knowing the answer. Bobbi placed granola and milk in front of me. "Thank you Bobbi, what are we doing today?" I asked as I took a sip of milk. Bobbi sighed, a I have bad news kind of sigh. "We're going to a friends house today. There's a party on. Tony Stark owns the house, he's rich and annoying. Then there are also other people living there, Thor, Pepper, Bruce, Steve and Natasha. They're really nice people. Bruce is a doctor. Steve was in the army. Pepper is the CEO of stark industries." Bobbi told me. I felt nerves build up in me. "Do I have to go?" I asked her, looking down afraid of her answer. The last time I asked someone that I was locked in a closet for a few days, I'm not sure how many. Barney would let me out when our parents had gone out. He'd feed me granola and milk.

"I'm sorry Clint but yes you do have to go to the party. You'll have fun. They're all excited to meet you" not one thing in that sentence sounded fun. After I had finished my breakfast I left to go find Natasha. I snuck into the room to surprise her. "BOO!" I shouted as I appeared behind her. She didn't jump or flinch a muscle. "That was supposed to scare me?" Natasha asked honestly. I pouted, "I'll scare you one day", I promised. She laughed before finishing her hair. "What do I wear to the party?" Natasha smiled before pulling out a shirt, jeans and vans for me to wear. I got dressed and did my hair and teeth. "Can I go outside to play?" I asked her. "Not without one of us", Natasha responded. I knew no one would want to go outside. "Can I have something to play with?" I said in a hopeful tone. "Here" Natasha said as she handed her phone to me after unlocking it. I smiled happily and messed around on the internet.

"Natasha come down here right now!" I froze staring at Natasha before she got up and left the room. Panic rose in me but before I could hide Coulson came charging into the room. He looked pissed off. I hid the phone behind my back. "Clint where's Natasha's phone?" Coulson said in a calm voice. It scared me, I handed the phone over to him. My breathing sped up as Coulson went through it. "Clint I'm going to ask you a question and you have one chance to answer it correctly or there will be consequences. Why did you try to hack Shield?" He asked me. I took a deep breathe, looking over at Natasha, she looked disappointed, before looking back at Coulson. "Cause I was bored" I told them which caused Coulson to have a fit and go on a rant about how it's never okay to hack shield. "Even if he's seven, he still causes some amount of paperwork." , Coulson sighed as he walked out. I sat there waiting for someone to come back, but no one did. I sighed,"what's another night on my own". I sat up under the blanket, making myself a little tent. I missed Barney. He'd protect me when stuff like this happened. This always happened when I got too comfortable in a place, I always ruin it. I'm nothing more than a giant failure. I felt tears run down my cheeks, "how could I be so stupid?...I really like it here" I mumbled to myself through tears. I lay down with the covers still over me. There was a knock before someone entered. I wiped my tears with my sleeve and curled up into a ball. "Clint?", it was Hunter, "I made dinner, you'll have to come down and get it if you want some. And the party's in an hour, Bobbi or Natasha will come up and get you for that", he said before heading back to the kitchen.

Slowly I got up and made my way downstairs, not caring about the obvious tear marks showing that I was crying. I sat at the table, next to Bobbi. I lay with my arms on the table, watching Natasha. They both smiled sadly at me. "Here you go buddy", Hunter said as he placed lasagne in front of me. I ate it all in silence. Then was about to go to my room before Natasha called me "Clint, it's time to go to the party, get your jacket on and wait in the sitting room". I sighed while doing as she asked. I picked up the remote while we waited, took it apart and began putting it back together. "If that's broke I will kill you, I need to watch game of thrones. Fix it quick."Hunter said as we waited on the girls. I sighed having the remote fixed in under a minute. "Alright let's go" Bobbi said as her and Natasha appeared together. They both look stunning and beautiful, especially Natasha, she was breath taking. I followed them out and into the car. Nerves starting to build up again. Bobbi strapped me in. "Do I have to go?" I asked her again in a whisper. The nerves got worse when Bobbi nodded her head.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The party was in a massive, expensive looking building. I stayed close to Natasha and Bobbi as we went up the lift. As the doors to the common room opened, I hid behind Natasha. My stomach hurt from the nerves, I checked all the exits, but decided to stay put knowing I'd have to do this eventually. The room was filled with people, more than I'd imagined. I slowly stepped back into the lift and pressed the button for the top level. The lift didn't move and the doors stayed open. Tears fell as everyone stared at me with sympathy and curiosity in their eyes. I backed into a corner, sobbing uncontrollably. Natasha came over, "shh Clint it's okay. We can go upstairs you don't have to meet anybody." I screamed as I continued to panic. "Let me go!...I want to get out of here...why did you make me come here!", I panicked. My back hit the corner wall of the lift, tears fell as I curled into a ball.

"Clint you don't have to be scared they're all friendly and nice people." Natasha told me as she leant down beside me. "No, they're monsters..why can't you see it." Natasha brought me up to another floor. I ran out of the lift in search of somewhere high. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. Natasha caught me before I could get far enough to hide. She lead me over to the couch and sat down, I climbed onto her lap. "How about if only a few people come up at a time?" I tried to get out of her arms but she was too strong. "No! Let me go" I panicked at the thought of meeting new people. I listened to Natasha's heart beat excepting the fact that I didn't have a choice. "How many?", I whispered trying to fake falling sleep. I yawned and closed my eyes. "Five people; four men and one woman. If you feel uncomfortable at anytime you tell me okay". I nodded, it wasn't okay. The lift binged, as the doors opened. Bobbi and Hunter came out followed by a man with curly brown hair, glasses and a light blue shirt on. He looked like a nerd.

"Hi", he said shyly. I hugged closer into Natasha. I kept my eyes fixed on him as he walked over and sat down across from us. I glanced over at Bobbi and Hunter, they nodded in encouragement. "Hi, I'm Clint", I said while checking the exits, I had found the lift and the windows but no stairs yet. "So how are you feeling Clint? I'm Bruce by the way", he smiled at me. He looked friendly but I didn't know if I could trust him yet. "I'm good", I lied. No one wants to know how I actually feel. Bobbi then commented, "Clint would it be okay if we brought another two people up? They're a couple. Tony and Pepper". I didn't know why she's asking me, I'm just a kid. Bobbi was still watching me, waiting on a response. I nodded, "yes". Use your words.

A few moments later, the lift opened allowing a rather handsome man and beautiful woman enter the room. He had a beard and brown hair and was wearing an expensive looking suit and watch. She was wearing a blue strapless dress with killer heals. I wondered she was able to walk. "Are you just gonna stare at my wife or are you say something", Tony remarked in quite a harsh tone. I looked down, avoiding eye contact. I heard a smack and a wince coming from Tony. Tears started to swell up in my eyes. Men don't cry. "Tony give him a break, he's doesn't remember any of that." I frowned. What do I not remember? I wiped my tears in my sleeve before whispering to Natasha, "I'm bored". Natasha smiled, "you Tony we had a little genius here and we didn't know it. He hacked into shield yesterday with my phone and got Coulson lots of paper work to do". Bobbi sat down beside me with Hunter on her other side. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again..please don't hurt me", I begged them. Suddenly disliking the number of people in the room. "Wait you hacked Shield, I created that barrier its impenetrable", Tony said confidently. "I tried to hack Shield. I only got as far as the records of the junior agents", I replied as I tried to stand up. "I need to go..toilet", Natasha let me go and I ran for it.

As soon as I shut the door, I sank down against the wall. I can't let them see me panicking again. They'll send me back. I felt the tears stream down my face. I gasped for air, I just wanna go back to Bobbi and Hunters house. I don't like it here. I looked around, finding a vent up high, near the ceiling. "I can fit in it, I can escape", I whispered to myself. But I'd get into trouble, I don't wanna be sent back. I listened to the adults.

"We can't...trust him...no!..Tony give...hurt...trust...fix him...work on it...not the same...miss the old Clint.." I could only hear parts. They did want to fix me, make me like the old Clint. I held the tears back. Men don't cry.

I unlocked the bathroom door and walked straight over to the window, there was a really big balcony. I looked around trying to figure out how to get out there. Maybe I could go down a fire escape. I manger to get it open, they didn't even notice me leaving the bathroom let alone opening the balcony door, I quickly shut it. I looked down, we were up very high and there was a fire escape going down most of the way. I climbed over the gate and began climbing down the ladder.

It took me a good while but I eventually managed to get the entire down the building. I sat on the steps for a second to catch my breath. The door to the mansion opened and Hunter came out, saw me and sighed. "Bloody hell. There you are kiddo, you scared the crap out of us." I stood up stepping away from him,"no I'm going back up there, you can't make me!" A woman passing by turned to watch us. "Sorry he's making a scene out of nothing". I stepped back again, "no please I don't want to". The woman turned to me, "is he your father?" Hunter gulped, he nodded from behind her. More people started to gather around. "No..uh I mean yes, yes he's my dad". I ran past him, and into the tower.

I hid in a corner, leaning against the wall. I felt my body start to shake. I lied. I'm gonna a beaten. He's not my dad. Bobbi's not my mom. They might send me back. I brought my knees to my chest as I rocked back and forth. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

Hunter finally came back in, he walked straight passed me. Nows my chance I can escape. I ran towards the door, down the steps. I just kept walking until my feet hurt. I stopped when I was on a bridge. The water looked so peaceful. I tried to think of where Bobbi and Hunters house was but there's so many buildings, I'm lost. I just wanna go home. I lay down on the bridge and watching the water flow. I missed my blankets, pillows, sheets, pyjamas, story before bedtime. I felt the tears flow down my cheeks. I missed Bobbi, Hunter and Tasha. I curled up into a ball, trying to keep some heat in. I could feel myself already beginning to shiver. I yawned and closed my eyes, the cold making me tired.

 **thanks for reading, please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I slept through the night surprisingly. I sobbed a little half expecting them to have found me by now. The dryness in my mouth was unbearable. I knew living there couldn't last forever, it was too good to be true. Living here is better than in the system. I began to shiver again, I didn't have time to grab a jacket. I started waking again. I looked up only to see big dark clouds. After about ten minutes of walking I felt a few droplets and then it all came at once, I just kept walking. I wrapped my arms around me trying to keep some heat in. I stopped shivering and I couldn't stop yawning. My entire clothes were soaking right through to the bone, I sat down against a building. My eyes drooped shut. I heard someone talking to me,

"Hello..can you hear me...are you okay". I heard another say, "I'm calling an ambulance". I felt something warm being placed over me and someone was blocking the rain with their umbrella. I opened my eyes when I heard sirens. The doctors stripped me and wrapped me up in warm blankets. I fell back asleep.

I woke up in a hospital. I was surrounded by machines and hooked up to them all by lots of cables. Bobbi was sitting next to me, she had a disappointed look on her face, it made me want to cry. "I'm sorry", I gasped out, I desperately needed water. She didn't respond. "Am I going back?" She looked more disappointed. "I'm sorry, I won't run away again. I was scared. There was too many people" I pleaded with her. Bobbi stood up and walked out.

Coulson came in just after she left. I gulped, my mind wandering back to . He stayed at a distance, which I was thankful for. I looked around and saw Bobbi's phone, I picked it up when Coulson wasn't watching. I pretended to fall back asleep so he'd stop looking at me before attempting to hack Stark Industries. Tony said Shield should've been a challenge so I wander what his firewall is like.

After an hour of trying, I gave up and places Bobbi's phone back where it was beforehand. Hunter came in a moment later,"come on Clint the doctor freed you to go". He also looked disappointed in me. I missed their smiles. I stood up and followed him to the car, I strapped myself in. Bobbi got in beside Hunter, who was driving. I stayed silent for the journey, when we got home I went straight to my room and packed my bag. The tears started to run down my cheeks. I really like it here. I hope they didn't mind me taking some of the clothes. I walked down to the sitting room with my bag and sat on the couch waiting to be sent back. Waiting to be told all usual lies.

Hunter entered the room and stared at me for a second, "Bobbi, honey come here". She appeared a moment later, not looking impressed by the nickname. "Clint? Where are you going?" Hunter questioned me. I looked down and mumbled "back to the orphanage". I held back the tears. "I was bold, I ran away, I don't deserve a family like this". Bobbi covered her mouth looked at Hunter then walked away, I could see the tears in her eyes before she left. Tears continued to stream down, but no one held me this time. Hunter went after Bobbi. The door bell rang before it opened, Bobbi and Hunter were down in a flash with guns drawn.

Natasha walked in, she didn't look phased by the guns at all. "Can I stay with you?", I asked as soon as she entered the room. Natasha looked at my bag of clothes, up at me and then over to Bobbi and Hunter. Bobbi sighed and sat down beside me, "Clint you're not going anywhere, you're staying with us." I nodded in response. I stood up and reached over for a hug from Natasha, who happily obliged. I clung to her. Still letting out little sobs. "Please don't try to fix me", I commented as I rested my head on her shoulder. "I won't..we won't", Tasha replied. "Don't make me leave, Tasha please don't leave. You can live here. Stay with me", I begged her but she shook her head. "No Clint, this is Bobbi and Hunters place, I can't just decide that I live here. Plus my friends at the tower would miss me", she explained.

"She can stay the night though, if she wants",Bobbi added in. I grinned when Natasha nodded. My felt the usual pain in my stomach come back. I reached up for Bobbi, noticing Natasha shift uncomfortably. "Can Hunter make us Pancakes please?", I whispered in her ear. She smiled and nodded. "Hunter make us pancakes", she ordered him. I'd never seen the woman in a relationship be in charge before. I snuggled back in Natasha, "Tasha did you ever try Ice cream? It's cold but it yummy! Bobbi and Hunter let me try it." I rambled on feeling Natasha relax.

"Clint, pancakes!" Hunter called for me. I liked his accent. Bobbi looked at her phone and looked worried. I ate as much as I could until my stomach hurt. "Now Clint", Bobbi said with a tone that I recognised to be sad, "Hunter and I, we have to go on a work trip. For about a week but it could be longer." I looked around searching for exits. They were all stood against a door but not too close to make it obvious. "Okay." I said trying to smile the best I could. I've never been left home alone before, normally Barney was with me. I brought my plate over to the sink, I learnt to do that after a meal. I watched Hunter and Bobbi talking as they left. They were talking about what weapons to bring. I wondered were they worked.

I followed them to their room, I waited till they closed the door before getting closer. Suddenly the door opened, they both stood their looking at me. "Clint it is not nice to ease drop", Hunter said in a stern voice. "Can I go with you?" I asked them trying to change the subject, trying to avoid a beating. I pouted and gave my best puppy dog eyes, "please". They both shook their heads, "no", Bobbi replied just as sternly as Hunter had. I sighed and ran off to find Natasha. "Tasha?" I called searching for her.

 **Thanks for reading**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Eventually I found her in the gym. She moved so quickly, fighting an invisible target. I wanted to go in, get a better view but kids aren't allowed in. I really wanted to go to the park, having a picnic with Hunter, Bobbi,Natasha and Coulson was awesome. After a while, Natasha noticed me. She stopped what she was doing and came over to me. "Were you watching that whole time?" I smiled, "like a hawk". Natasha smiled and invited me into the gym. "Kids aren't allowed in the gym" I repeated Coulson's words. Natasha smirked, "that didn't stop you the other day". I walked in, looking around. There was a selection of guns hanging on the far wall, with knives next to it and one pair of nun chucks and a bow and quiver.

I ran for the bow, but I couldn't reach it. I looked at it in awe. I turned towards Natasha, "can you teach me, can you?" I begged her. "That ones way to big for you", Natasha smiled sadly. "Okay", I decided to drop it, it was clearly making Natasha sad talking about it. I ran back over to the mats and stretched a little. "Tasha, Tasha look what I can do", I called to get her attention before doing a back tuck. Natasha smiled, "how we play a game and see who can do the most gymnastics tricks". I nodded eagerly. "But you got to do them all in order okay?", she continued.

Natasha did a back tuck then a front tuck. I repeated her moves and added in a back roll. After a couple of minutes of adding on, I heard Bobbi and Hunter enter, I did a series of gymnastics tricks and flips. I looked over at Natasha who wasn't looking at what I did. "I won", I declared. I grinned as I walked past the adults, out of the gym. I headed to the kitchen for a drink.

I looked towards the front door, then climbed up on the counter so I could look out the window, there was an empty black SUV. They were leaving soon. "I wanna go with them", I whispered to myself. I quickly jumped down. I ran out into the hall to make sure that no one was coming. When I was satisfied that I was alone, I opened the front door as quietly as I could and shut it after me. I checked the door to the SUV, it was open. I smiled as I climbed behind the bags. Now I don't have to be alone. I managed to close the boot, leaving me in the dark. It's really dark, I looked around a source of light but all the windows are tinted. I could feel my legs shaking. I don't like it in here. I took in shaky breaths. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

If I get out now I won't be in trouble, I thought to myself. I pushed against the boot door but it didn't shove. I sighed, "I'm stuck". I heard doors opening and muffled conversation,

"Don't worry Bobbi..Natasha will find him..stay safe..don't die out there".

The door closed and engine roared as the car moved out of the driveway. I could hear Bobbi and Hunter making a plan for something. My stomach ached each time the car went over a ramp. After what felt like hours, the car came to a sudden halt and my head whacked of off the seat. I heard gun fire. Oh shit. I stayed as quiet as possible. I felt the car spin and the speed of in another direction. The car sped over the ramps causing me to lift of the floor of the boot each time. The car stopped again, I heard a car door opening. "Oh fuck Lance", Bobbi moaned as I heard muffled sounds of zippers and clothes being torn off. "Get your dick me in right now!" I heard Bobbi demand. Lance laughed, "as you desire, my love". I could hear the grin in his voice. I covered my ears, trying to drown them out. The SUV bounced as I heard Bobbi moan, "fuck yes...there...lance...huh lance". After a couple more moans, Bobbi screamed. I covered my ears harder, "there's someone in the back". The boot door opened to reveal Bobbi and Hunter pointing guns at me, there hair was a mess and neither had a top on. I hid behind the bags and jackets. "Who the fuck are you?" Bobbi demanded. I stayed as till as possible, holding my breath. Hunter pulled the bags out of the car, leaving me no where to hide.

"Oh bloody hell! Kid what are you doing here" Hunter exclaimed in surprise. They lowered they're guns. I cowered into the corner further, "I..I.. I" I stuttered. Bobbi smiled at me, I could tell it was forced. It relaxed me never the less. I climbed out of the boot and looked around at the fields and forest in the distance. My eyes lit up, "are we in Iowa?" I asked hopeful. Hunter nodded, "yeah kid, we're in Iowa". I hoped out of the boot and took small steps towards the high grass. I could hear them arguing about me. What they were going to do with me. When I got close enough I ran into the grass. "Clint!" They said in unison. "I'm right here", I called as I ran out the grass and up to them.

I stared at Bobbi, she still hadn't put a top on. "Oy, eyes off my wife"Hunter said in a mocking serious tone. Bobbi pointed to the car, indicating for me to get in. I smirked as I looked in the back seat of the car, thinking back to just before they found me in the boot.

"But you too fucked in there..", I sighed heavily as I got in. I looked out the window, I felt sick in my stomach, I didn't realise how much I missed Iowa. I waited until they got back in the car before asking "are we staying in Iowa?" God I hope we are. I can see Bobbi look at me through the mirrors, she shakes her head a little and smiles slightly. I nod as my eyes reach the floor, I can feel the tears built up. Men don't cry. "I wanna stay here!" I scream as I unlock the door and go to jump. The car comes to sudden halt. I got thrown forward, whacking of the head rest of the drivers seat. I get out of the car, tears streaming down my face. "I wanna stay here! I wanna stay here! Please can we stay here?" I begged. I sulked as I got back in, Bobbi locked the doors immediately. I stared out the window, wanting to climb the trees ,hide in the grass and ride my bike along the road. "I miss my mom", I admitted to no one in particular. Hunter and Bobbi shared a look that resembled sadness but they were smiling. We pull up at a motel, we got a room with a massive bed. I ran over and went to jump on the bed but remembered that I was already in trouble for sneaking into the boot. I went straight for the window, a clear view of the parking lot. I miss Iowa already. I walked back over to the bed, kicking my shoes off and climbing up, and cuddling into Hunters side while Bobbi has a shower. "I'm sorry", I muffled into his side as I drifted off to sleep.

 **thanks for reading**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

As I woke up, Bobbi had laid out breakfast in bed for the three of us. I smiled as I looked a awe of how much food there was. "Thanks mo.. Bobbi" I correct myself before I let it slip out. I pick up some strawberries, stuffing my mouth." Bobbi chokes on her coffee, "what were you about to say?" She said with a laugh. I didn't respond and they thankfully let it drop. I quickly ate some pancakes before cuddling into Bobbi.

I looked up at Bobbi, tears glistening my eyes. "I wanna go home..I want my mom, or even just a mom". I tightened my grip on her. "I know Clint, I know", Bobbi said as she plays with my hair. Hunter lies beside us, leaving me in between them. He rubs my back as he says "I know it hurts Clint, but we can't bring you back to your mom and dad. I know you love them and miss them but I swear it gets easier, remember that with every piece you." Taking Hunters hand, I used it to wrap his arm around us. Bobbi smiled at us, "we've a job to do Hunter and we better be getting ready", she declared as they both stood up. Hunter went for the laptop while Bobbi started applying makeup. "What do yous work as?" I asked them. They both looked nervous, "we keep good people safe and kill the bad people" Bobbi explained, Hunter frowned "couldn't of put it more child friendly no?" I smiled at him. Hunter started telling me what they did in a more child friendly manner. "Work", I said repeating Bobbi. We high fived before she got back to getting ready.

It then dawned on me that children can't go to work and neither Natasha or Coulson is here, I glanced at the closet, memories of being shoved into one dared to surface. I looked under the bed, there was just enough space for me. I crawled under. They didn't notice me for a while.

"Hey buddy why are you hiding?" Hunter asked me, I curled up. "I don't want to be alone". It was as simple as that.

"You're working with me buddy, you're not gonna be alone". I smiled and got out from under the bed, deciding it sit on it instead. "Clint remember you said you speak ten languages, yeah well we might need a translator. However you have to be aware they're not gonna be talking about rainbows and butterflies" I smiled at the thought that I could help.

Hunter tuned into them on the laptop, he mentioned something about a tracker. [in Arabic] they had a boy with them, we'll use him as a distraction. Capture all of them then trick them into killing the boy. Then we let them go. Something about killing a child fucks people up. We'll do it tonight at 3. That'll teach shield a lesson. "no..no..please don't hurt me, Bobbi, Hunter please", I begged.

[english] "Clint what is it? In English please", Bobbi pleaded with me as she did her eyes. "How would you feel if you killed me?" I asked, not really wanting to think about it. "What kind of a question is that Clint, what did they say?" Hunter asked as he pulled me onto his lap. "They're going to try to kidnap us at 3 in the morning tomorrow. They'll use me as a distraction. You'll be too concentrated on me, they gets yous, and make yous kill me then they'll let you go. Apparently the guilt will destroy you" I gulped at the thought of them shooting me. They hadn't even laid a hand on me since I moved in with them.

"We now know their plans so we can beat them. I pulled Hunters gun out of his holster. He watched me very carefully. I clicked the safety off and on again before beginning to take it apart. "You better be able to put back together", Hunter warned although I got the impression that he could do it in a heartbeat if need be. It took me a while but I managed it. Hunter took the bullets out then fired a blank to double check it. I flinched when he did, getting a giggle out of Bobbi.

I stood up and started jumping on the bed. I laughed as Hunter tripped me up and started tickling me. When he finally stopped I was panting for air. "Can I go outside?" I asked them, they both shook their head. I sighed before going jumping off the bed and climbing on the furniture.

The voice came back over the radio, I listened before repeating it back in English. "There nearly here about two minutes, it sounds like about 5 men and there's a woman's voice too", I told them as I felt the nervous built up in me. I climbed up on top of the wardrobe, Hunter put his bag in front of me, hiding me completely. "What ever happens Clint, even if you hear gunfire, Jesus if one of us gets hit. Do not move until it's safe" Hunter explained in a very serious tone. I nodded, "okay".

I heard the door being bust open a few seconds later. I could hear sharp breaths being inhaled and fists colliding with bodies. Someone was flipped over and slammed to the ground. Then shots were fired, I covered my ears, it was very loud. "Is that all of them?" Hunter asked. "Nope, there's more, the woman in the car", Bobbi pointed out before calling me. "Clint come on we're going for a drive", I hopped down. Bobbi took the holster from around her arm and placed it on my leg. "We need you to pretend to be a spy okay, if anyone asks laugh at them and never tell them who you're with or who you are working for, okay?" I nodded eagerly, this sounds fun.

We approached the car, there was a woman sitting in the back seat. Bobbi nodded to me to open the door, they both had guns pointing at the woman and she had one pointing at me. I laughed, that caught the woman off guard. Please help, I told her in Arabic. She dropped her gun, I ducked giving Hunter enough time to ice her. I picked up her gun, clicked the safety on and handed it to Bobbi who was now in the front seat. I put my seat belt on as we drove away. "I'm tired", I told them as I yawned. "No Clint you got to stay awake", Bobbi told me. I nodded trying my best. "Where are we going?", I asked them. "To they're base", Hunter replied. I took my gun out of its holster as the woman began to steer. I flicked off the safety and pointed it at her. She stayed still. I could see Bobbi smiling in the mirror. I yawned, the woman frowned at me. "I'm bored when do we get to start killing people", covering up the fact that I was tired. Bobbi and Hunter laughed. The woman looked terrified of me. We pulled up to a warehouse. Bobbi and Hunter got out after telling me to, "stay with her".

They came back 20 minutes later, both covered in blood. Bobbi opened the back door on the woman's side, pulled her out and shot her. "Did you have to kill her? She was good", I asked Bobbi. I felt a rush of relief come over me that they came back. I could feel my eyes droop, no longer able to withstand the tiredness. I drifted of to sleep, only waking up slightly when Hunter lifted me up, I clung to him. He carried me into the bed in the motel, I curled up as he tucked me in. I heard the shower going moments later, I drifted back off to sleep.

I woke up to Bobbi and Hunter arguing. Then my stomach decided to demonstrate a whale call. I heard Bobbi laughing as I opened my eyes. "You hungry?", Bobbi asked me. I smiled and nodded. "We're going to have to go out for breakfast", Hunter commented before heading for the shower. "You need to bath too Clint", Bobbi told me. I tensed up. I hate showers. Tears formed around my eyes, "but..but I..I've been good?", I cried as I backed away from her. When I reached the edge of the bed, I curled up. "You're having a bath Clint, it's not a punishment", Bobbi told me. Hunter came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, dressed and shaved. Bobbi got out of the bed and picked me up, I screamed and kicked trying to get away from her. "No! No! Put me down!" I screamed but she only held me tighter. Hunter came in and ran the water. Tears streamed down my face. I clung onto the door frame. "Help!", I screamed. Hunter finished running the bath before peeling my hands off the door frame. "You can't bathe in your clothes Clint", he told me before taking my top off, then my jeans and boxers. I screamed the entire time. Bobbi placed me into the water. I stopped screaming, panting for air I looked at them as I felt the heat relax me. "It's warm?", I asked them confused. They sighed, glad that I was content. "What else would it be?" Hunter asked me. "Cold", I told him like it was obvious.

Bobbi got a small jug and started pouring water over my back. I smiled at her. "Clint is it okay if I pour water over your head", I nodded trying to be brave. She then poured it slowly over my head getting my hair wet. I watched as she took a small amount of shampoo out of a bottle and massage it into my scalp. I smile as she does so. "That nice?", Bobbi asked, I nodded slightly. She poured water over my head, while using one hand to block it from going in my eyes. When she was done she rubbed soap into my arms and torso, then washed it off. Bobbi got a towel, wrapping me up in it and lifted me out of the bath. I cuddled into her. "I'm sorry for struggling", I whispered in her ear. She placed me on the bed. "You don't have a change of clothes", said when she looked at my soaking wet clothes on the bathroom floor. She grabbed one of her t-shirts and put it on me. "Hunter can you pick up Clint up a change of clothes and we might as well have breakfast here" Bobbi asked him as she pecked him on the lips and whispered in his ear. They both smirked, and kissed for an awkwardly long time. I switched on the tv and watched cartoons.

Hunter came back after a couple episodes, he had coffee and donuts, and a target bag. He handed me the bag, I looked in seeing all new clothes. "For me?" I confirmed before taking them out and changing. Bobbi came out of the shower in a towel, I continued watching cartoons as I ate a donut. I heard the towel drop. I looked at Hunter, his eyes never leaving his wife. I chuckled and went back to watching cartoons. I heard them kissing. I got up and got another donut while they weren't watching. I never tried coffee before, I opened the lid. It smells amazing. I took a sip, then scrunched my face up, "how do you drink this stuff?" I asked them, looking around for something else to drink. I found a bottle of water and drank it.

They laughed at me then took up the cups, each taking a sip. They looked delighted. Bobbi lay against Hunter, smiling as she ate a donut and drank her coffee. Hunter smiled at me "you did great yesterday". Bobbi smiled, "yeah you're very quick at covering up after yourself, that yawn scared me for a second but that cover", she laughed shaking her head. There was silence for a second before Hunter spoke up. "Have you ever seen anyone being killed?" He asked me. I nodded, letting a tear escape my eyes. "My mom and dad" I let the tears flow now. "I miss my mom". I climbed in onto Bobbi's lap and rested my head in the crook of my neck. "Sometimes I forget you're only 7", Bobbi admits as she plays with my hair. I sobbed into her shoulder, "will yous adopt me?" I asked through tears. "We can't Clint it's too dangerous but we'll die before we let anyone take you away", Bobbi explained to me. I smiled a little content with that answer. "There's that beautiful smile of yours", Bobbi said as she kissed my forehead.

 **Thanks for reading**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Can we go back to Iowa?" I asked cautiously. Hunter raised to hand to get another donut, I flinched. Hunter looked at me, "did you think I was going to hit you?" I nodded as I hugged Bobbi tighter. "Yes Clint we can go back to Iowa but only for a couple of hours then we need to head home", Hunter told me. "Can we go now?", I asked excitedly as I jumped on the bed. Bobbi pulled me down so I was in between them. I looked at them both nervously. "Why do I get feeling you're going to tickle me?", I said before they both tickled me. I laughed until I couldn't breath. "Pax pax". They stopped and smiled. Bobbi smiled at me,"so you speak Arabic, English, Latin and Russian, what's the other 7 languages". I smiled, "you'll find out". I laughed before telling them, "Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, German, Dutch, and Swedish. What about yous?"

"I speak 3 and Bobbi speaks 5" Hunter told me. I climbed over Hunter and got off the bed, I picked my clothes up off the bathroom floor, putting them in a bag then into Bobbi's suitcase. "Even he picks up after himself", Bobbi glared at Hunter as she said it. "Can we go now?" I asked as I pulled at Hunters shirt.

"Alright I guess we're heading to Iowa now" Hunter said as he got up, Bobbi huffed. I ran out the door and into the SUV, I heard the gun shot before I felt the pain escalate through my body. I heard another gunshot as Hunter had shot the guy in the head. I felt my eyes drooping. Bobbi and Hunter ran over to me. Bobbi put pressure on the wound as Hunter called for help. I coughed up blood as Bobbi turned me on my side. "Don't you fucking dare die on us. We're going to Iowa remember. Think of Iowa Clint" I could Hunter wrapping a bandage around me. My eyes shut. I thought of the high grasses and the tree that me and Barney used to climb and play in.

Next thing I know I being blinded my white lights, I can't keep my eyes open though and I drift back to sleep.

I can feel someone holding my hand, I wiggle my fingers, just to let know I'm waking up. "Clint", It took me a second but I realised it was Natasha. I hadn't seen her in ages. "Tasha", I whispered through chapped lips. "Yeah it's me Clint", she said as she brought my hand up to her face. I blinked my eyes open. "Does it have to be so bright?" I whined as my eyes slowly adjusted. I looked at Natasha, she had been crying. I looked around the room, Natasha knew what I was searching for. "They were sent on another mission". I frowned, "so soon?" Natasha chuckled and played with my hair. "Clint you were in a coma for 3 months..the bullet ruptured your spleen. You bled a lot and needed time to recover". Her voice cracked as she told me. "But it..it only feels like yesterday". Natasha smiles, "I know Clint, I know". I closed my eyes wishing it to be a dream.

I woke up to the sound of arguing from familiar voices. "Bloody hell Bobbi this wasn't your fault", "yes it was I should've brought him out to the car, one of us should. They had threatened his life. We should have been more careful", "it's not possible to be that over protective without freaking him out. After all we kept hiding the day before. We had good reason to be relaxed, the mission was over. We also had good reason to tired and want downtime even just for a couple hours" I opened my eyes and watched them argue about me. I lay there watching them for a while, they hadn't noticed that I was awake yet. "Hi", I whispered, still needing a drink. They didn't hear me. "Bobbi..Hunter", I called them. They looked at me and I could see them visibly relax. "Drink", I whispered. Bobbi sat beside me on the bed, helping me to sit up and Hunter got me a small cup of water. I drank it and winced as it hurt my throat. I looked Bobbi in eyes, "this isn't your fault!, the ass that shot me, it's his fault". Hunter smiled and Bobbi nodded, she didn't quite believe it but she wanted to. "God we missed you Clint", we've been fighting non stop since you were shot". I smiled, "are we still going to Iowa?" They laughed, Hunter put his arms around Bobbi. "Yes Clint, we're still going to Iowa, and we'll stay a couple days not just a couple hours." I grinned, "can Tasha come?" Bobbi nodded.

A nurse walked in, checked on the machines, I then noticed I had needles in my arms and a tube in my stomach. Bobbi held my hand as she noticed me tense up, "it hurts take them out", I said as I went to do it myself. Bobbi grabbed both of my arms and held them in one hand. "Is there playgrounds in Iowa and forests, maybe we could go to a rock climbing place", I smiled and rambled on about all the places that we could go. Bobbi nodded at the nurse. Hunter went outside the door and talked to her. When he came back in he asked, "Clint do you want to try standing?" My legs felt limp, "um okay", I said as Bobbi helped me sit up on the edge of the bed. I stood up, leaning most of my weight on Bobbi and Hunter.

"Can we go outside?", I asked them. Hunter nodded, "but you'll have to be in a wheelchair okay?" Bobbi went out to get one as Hunter sat me back down. "I hate being inside" I admitted to him. "I didn't either when I was a kid".

Bobbi came back with a wheelchair, I stood up again and walked a few steps over to it, Hunter holding me the entire time. Bobbi wrapped a blanket around me, leaving me in my own little cocoon. Hunter wheeled me down the hospital corridors and outside into the fresh air. I took in a deep breath. Hunter wheeled me over to the grass, he helped me out of the wheelchair. I lay down on the grass and looked up at the sky. A smile spreading across my face. I patted beside me offering for them to lie down next to me. "What month is it?" I asked them as I leaned into Bobbi, she wrapped her arm around me. "It's February 13th" Hunter replies. I missed my birthday and Christmas. "Oh", was all I could muster up as a response. Bobbi smiled at me, "the avengers want to have a little party for you in the tower as soon as you're able to walk. It won't be as big as the last one I promise." I nodded considering it.

A woman came over with her girl, she looked roughly 6. She had pyjamas on and was wearing a boot around her ankle. "Is he your boy?" She asked them. I watched as they shared a look. "Yeah he is, he's ours" I smiled and sat up, Bobbi immediately sat behind me supporting me. The girl knelt down beside me, "hi my name is Nadine smith what's yours?" I smiled at her. "Clint Bar-ney Hunter", I replied, stopping myself from saying Barton. Nadine hugged me causing me to tense up. Bobbi quickly intervened, "Clint is recovering from surgery honey, he's in a lot of pain". I relaxed again when she let go. "It was nice meeting you", her mom said as she took Nadines hand and led her away. Hunter smirked as he lay down facing us, "Clint Hunter?" I smiled as I looked down. "It doesn't sound right", Bobbi said as she held Hunter's hand. I smirked, "neither does Lance Hunter". Bobbi laughed. "Okay Clinton", Hunter smirked as he saw the disgust on my face. "No more slagging each other's names okay?" We both nodded. "Pax", hunter said as he held hand up to shake. We shook hands, "pax".

Natasha walked up to us, "there yous are, I tried calling you but you left your phone up in his room". Natasha handed Bobbi her phone. I smiled. I reached over and hugged Natasha. Bobbi helped me so that I could sit in Natasha's lap. I relaxed into her, "how'd you hurt your arm?", I asked Natasha. She frowned, "how did you know it was sore?" I pointed to her right arm which she was leaning all her weight on, "you're favouring your right side, but no problem walking or breathing so therefore it's your arm". Natasha tried to put weight on her sore arm but ended up falling backwards with me landing on her. Hunter helped me sit up, allowing Natasha to regain her position before I leant back on her. "I'm hungry, can I have ice cream?" I asked but Natasha shook her head. "You can have toast", she told me. I sighed. "Clint we have to head home now, Natasha is going to stay the night with you", Hunter explained. I nodded. "And you're not allowed to sneak into our boot" Bobbi joked making me smile. Hunter stood up, "come on I'll help you back into the chair", he lifted me up and placed me in it, wrapping the blanket around me. "I'll see you tomorrow kid", Hunter said as he helped Bobbi up. I smiled as Bobbi gave me a hug, I kissed her on the cheek. Hunter helped Natasha up and said goodbye. Natasha brought me back up to my room. "I hate hospitals, when do I get to go home?" I complained causing Natasha to laugh.

Natasha helped me into bed. I offered for her to lie beside me but she declined wanting me to have enough space. "Natasha can I ask you something?" She smiled, "go ahead Clint", she replied. "Why were you crying the other day, when I woke up first?" I asked. Natasha sighed, "because I didn't know if you were ever going to wake up. I need you Clint, more than you realise. Although you do seem to have a pretty keen eye." I thought about her answer for a while, what did she mean by more than I know.

"Is tomorrow Valentine's Day?" I asked her after a moment of silence. Natasha nodded, "yep it is". I smiled. "Are you going to spend it with your husband?", I asked her. Natasha looked away, "no, I won't be".

I lifted her chin up, "can we go on a date?" Natasha smiled, she was intrigued. "What would we do on this date?" I took a sip of water before smiling, "we would go get pizza and ice cream then go home, cuddle and watch a movie." I told her. "I'd like that", Natasha said as she ran her fingers through my hair. "Come here", I signalled for Natasha to get closer before I kissed her on the cheek.

I yawned, lying down to go asleep, Natasha put on a movie and watched it, still playing with my hair.

Next thing I know I'm running through the fields in Iowa before I see a car speeding, I recognised it as my parents car. It then hit a SUV, I ran towards it. I looked in the SUV and saw Bobbi and Hunter, I opened the doors, they were dead. I felt tears built up in my eyes, then I heard someone calling my name. I looked in the back and saw Natasha, "Clint...Clint, it's okay"

I woke up crying with Natasha beside my bed whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "I dreamt that...that you were all killed in..in a car crash."I said while sobbing. Natasha lay down beside me and I cuddled into her. I listened to her heartbeat as I lay there. "Tasha, what would happen if yous..d..you know", I asked her not wanting to remember the nightmare. "You'd live with the avengers or with Coulson, whichever you'd prefer", she said reassuring me that I wouldn't be put into the system. Natasha hugged me as I drifted back into a deep sleep.

When I woke up, Natasha was sleeping beside me. I was curled up against her. I played with her hair, trying to be gentle enough to not wake her. I smiled, admiring how beautiful Natasha is. A small whimper escaped her lips, she was having a bad dream. I hugged her tighter. Natasha woke a few minutes later, her grip tightened on me. I kissed her cheek, "morning". Natasha smiled as she blinked adjusting to the light. "Good morning Clint".

"Can I ask you something Clint? Did your dad ever hit your mom", Natasha asked me. "Yeah, he hit her" I replied wondering where this was coming from or even going. "Would you hit a woman?" I thought back to when I held a woman at gun point. "No! Not even with a flower" Natasha nodded content with my answer. "Unless she threatens my life or anyone I care about", I told her. Natasha chuckled.

"Will you come to Iowa with us?" I asked her as she played with my hair. "Yes I'll go to Iowa with you", Natasha confirmed. I grinned. "I just have to get walking again", I said as I pushed myself up. I ate my cereal as I watched a movie that Natasha had put on.

"You finished?" Natasha asked when the movie was over. "Yep", I said as I handed her the bowl. I smiled "I can't wait for our date later". I looked around the room, I was really sick of just lying here. I wiggled around, wishing I was able to run around.

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	12. Chapter 12

Natasha noticed how uneasy I was, "do you want to try walking?" I nodded as I sat up. Natasha helped me stand up. I leant on her arm as I walked a couple of steps. Determined to get to the door, with her help of course. I sighed, "can we go now? I don't like hospitals". Natasha chuckled before shaking her head. "No Clint, I have to get some work done", she said as she stood up, putting on her jacket. "I'll be back at dinner time for our date, okay?" I nodded in response. "Can I keep the laptop?" I asked giving her the best puppy dog eyes I could. "Yeah you can keep it for the afternoon". I didn't want her to leave. I hate being alone. Natasha gave me a kiss and a hug before leaving to do her work.

I turned my attention back to the laptop. I sighed and looked through the files on movies, I frowned when I came across one labelled 'Clint Barton Interrogation'. I didn't remember being interrogated. I clicked play. The video showed a muscular man with dirty blond hair. He was wearing black combat trousers and a black and maroon vest. There were files along the desk. They all had a strange octopus logo on them. It suddenly clicked in my head. That's me. Clint Barton. I watched as a woman entered the room. She continued to ask him a series of questions. They were all based around organisation named hydra. I fast forwarded the video, I watched in horror as large quantities of water were poured over the mans head. I shuttered knowing the feeling. Not like anyone intentionally done it to me though. The woman left leaving the man soaking and coughing up water. I fast forwarded again until the next person came in. I froze as I recognised her. "Bobbi", I whispered. I felt tears forming, threatening to fall. Men don't cry.

I turned my attention back to the screen, Bobbi stripped the man of his clothes and ordered him to stand against the wall, he did as instructed. Bobbi produced a knife and began reopening scars, I grimaced. I couldn't look away. "Why were they hurting him, hurting me?", I whispered to myself. The blood poured down his back and along the floor. I sniffles trying to hold in the tears. Bobbi left the room leaving the man standing against the wall, I didn't dare move a muscle.

The door opened again, I let the tears fall as Natasha walked in. "Was she there to save me", I hoped. Natasha looked void of any emotion. "Sit", he sat on the chair, he looked terrified and already half broken. There was a silence in the room as Natasha looked through the files. "Nat, please say something?" The other Clint begged her. That earned him a punch to the face and a knee to the groin. I whined knowing the must've hurt. "You know what the one thing I hate is betrayal", Natasha said in a calm almost scary voice. I watched as she threw him onto the ground and kicked him in the ribs several times. Natasha stopped and left the room for a second before returning with a bow and arrow. "You have an unhealthy obsession with your bow Barton", Natasha stated as she cut the string with a knife. She then folded it up so that it was a long dagger. I watched as Natasha whacked the other Clint on the head with the bow, I instinctively cover my head. I watched carefully the man was barely breathing before Natasha reached down and tasered him, he wasn't breathing after that. I exited the file and placed the laptop down beside me. I felt the tears get heavier as I struggled to breathe. I brought my knees up to my chest and shook as the video replayed in my mind.

That's what they meant my fix me. They killed me and then deaged me, now they want to fix me. I felt my chest tighten. They're gonna kill me. The door to the hospital room opened, revealing Bobbi and Hunter. Bobbi ran straight over to me and wrapped me in her arms. I struggled immediately, "no get off of me! No! Get out!", I begged. Bobbi stepped away from me. "Clint it's okay you're safe" I shook my head. I wasn't safe here I needed to get out of here. I gasped trying to get air in. She was going to hurt me. She doesn't care about me. I looked over at Hunter, he wasn't in the video, he was probably behind the window watching them kill me.

I sat up and reached for the frame. I need to get away from them away from here. "Clint you really shouldn't be walking just yet". I frowned determined to get away. I managed three steps before collapsing onto the ground. "Please don't hurt me", I sobbed as I backed up against a wall. Both Bobbi and Hunter knelt down, they were giving me reassuring smiles. "We're not going to hurt you kid", Hunter said as he sat beside me. I closed my eyes and worked on controlling my breathing. I opened them again when I was calm. "What makes you think we're going to hurt you Clint?", Bobbi asked me. I pressed my lips together, knowing I wasn't supposed to watch the file. I glanced at the laptop. They both followed my eyes. "What did you watch Clint?" Bobbi asked, I could hear the slight threat in her voice. I looked down. What would Barney do? "A scary movie", I mumbled. It wasn't all a lie.

They both sighed in relief. Bobbi pulled me into her arms. The same ones that literally stabbed my back a thousand times. I tensed up, feeling the tightness coming back. "Can I get back into bed?" Bobbi lifted me up and tucked me in. I felt the knife under her sleeve. I pulled away immediately. I stayed silent. Children are better seen not heard. Bobbi smiled as she reached for the laptop. I gulped.

"Can we watch stand by me?" I asked trying to distract her. "Maybe some other time Clint," Hunter replied letting Bobbi concentrate. "I need to distract her", I thought to myself. I watched the screen carefully. "May I have a soda please?" I asked Hunter as politely as possible. He nodded before leaving the room.

I watched the screen as Bobbi was almost into the history. I yanked at the laptop. A sharp pain ran up my side. "I wanna watch stand by me, I'm bored..please", I exclaimed trying to get the laptop. Bobbi peeled my hands away and moved over to the seat opposite the bed. I looked around the room checking for hiding spots and escape routes. The pain in my side continued, I lifted up my top. "I pulled the tube out of my stomach", I said with tears in my eyes. I wonder how much more pain I'll be in when she's done. Bobbi looked up at me and sighed. "It was an accident..I didn't mean to..I'm sorry.." I sobbed as the pain increased. She got up and left the room. I stumbled out of the bed, leaving a light trail of blood, and climbed into the wardrobe. It was more like a press but I fit in it. I clutched my side. I listened as Bobbi returned along with someone else. I took in shaky breathes.

I jumped as someone knocked on the press door. "I'm going to open the press now, okay Clint? I'm Doctor Cassidy, but you can call me Maddie.", Maddie said calmly as she opened the door. I started to come out, a feeling of dread flashed over me when I saw Bobbi. It disappeared as quickly as it came. Maddie took my arm and lead me over to the bed. "Do you mind giving us a minute?", Maddie asked Bobbi, although I got a feeling it wasn't a question. Bobbi left the room. I instantly relaxed. Maddie smiled but I could see she looked concerned.

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about, you can trust me," she said with a reassuring smile. I stayed silent, careful not to make a whimper, watching as she reattached the tube. She made a note on my chart to get it removed.

"It's okay Clint you can talk to me", she told me again when she was done. "Did..did you know me the ..the older me?", I asked cautiously. Maddie smiled as she ran her hand through my hair. I felt the pain ease and tension leave my body. "Yes, I did. He was very brave and kind to anyone he met, in his own way. He saw things from a different perspective. He saw the good in people. He just couldn't seem to find the good in himself", Maddie told me her smile disappearing. "Do you want to tell me what's bothering you? Why all of a sudden?" I shook my head. If I told anyone they might try to fix me. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

I sat up and wrapped my little arms around her, I felt the tears flow shortly afterwards. My mind wandered back the video, I remembered how I had died, but yet here I am. I pulled way from Maddie, "They killed me, Natasha killed me. How am I still alive?" I asked as I began to think about it logically. I covered my mouth realising I'd let it slip. "That was all just one big nightmare", Maddie said as she shuffled, I got the message and laid back down. "I have more patients to check up on but I'll be back before dinner okay", she told me before leaving.

I watched Bobbi and Hunter argue outside my door. I waited until they were done, waited for them to come back in but they walked off. I wondered what older Clint did, maybe if I knew then I could make sure I didn't do it. But I'm an idiot and I'd end up doing exactly as they tell me not to. My mind wandered back to Maddie, Maddie Cassidy. The blood drained from my face as I thought of . I took a deep breath and pushed the thought back to the furthest part of my memory. I shifted around in the bed so that I could see if anyone was coming to see me.

I sighed as I watched everyone else, they all had something to do. I wish I even had something to read or play with, Bobbi took the laptop. I could feel the dread build up, I knew I was in trouble. I gulped as I waited for my punishment. Maybe I could run after all no one is here now. I sat up, feeling a slight pain in my side. I stood up, I managed to take a steps over to the chair before the pain erupted in my side. I winced. I stood up properly. If I looked in pain everyone would notice me immediately. I took a deep breath, turn the pain into power. I opened the door and walked out, I held my breath the entire time only releasing it when I managed to got out of my ward. It led into a range of corridors. I walked in and out of them, climbing as much stairs as possible. I managed to get to the roof relatively quickly for an 8 year old. I looked over the edge. I smiled, finely feeling relaxed. The building was about 7 stories high.

I laughed as I made up stories about the people down below. They looked like ants. I could see Natasha walk out, look around then go back into the hospital. A few minutes later she appeared at the door. I took in a shaky breath. "Am I in trouble?", I asked cautiously. "Yes, but no one is going to hurt you and I'll shoot them if they try", Natasha replied without a second thought. "You always loved the roof, I should've known you'd be up here", she told me as she sat beside me. "You won't hurt me?" I asked confirming what she told me. "No", Natasha replied as she smiled and pulled me into a hug. I winced as she pulled on the new stitches. "Sorry", I apologised instinctively. She moved her arm so that it was resting on my shoulder. I leaned into her side. "Are we still getting pizza and ice cream?", I asked hopeful that we were still going. Natasha smirked, "mmmh maybe just pizza, if you were good we could've got ice cream". I looked down I really wanted ice cream. "Okay", I replied in acceptance. "Also you have to go to the tower, no getting out of it", Natasha added in. I frowned, "you're punishing me by making me go to my own birthday party?" I asked confused. Natasha nodded.

Natasha stood up and lifted me up and away from the edge. "How about we leave after you change?", she asked me. "Okay, can we get sausage or pepperoni on the pizza?", I replied as we walked back. I changed into jeans and a shirt. "Yeah but you know what I really love on pizza? ...Broccoli" Natasha told me with a laugh. I shuddered at the thought of broccoli on pizza.

I held Natasha's hand while we walked out to the car. I stopped in front of it and leant in closer to her, almost hiding behind her. "It's okay Clint, there's no one in my car", she said as she opened the door. I smiled, "I knew that". I got in and strapped myself in. I grinned as we took off. We pulled up to a restaurant, I hopped out and ran inside. "Pizza, pizza, pizza", I chanted. Natasha laughed and hushed me. We sat down and waited for the waitress to take our order. "Hi, We'll have a 16' custom pizza with sausage and pepperoni, thank you", I watched as Natasha made the order. "We're having both sausage and pepperoni?!" I grinned. "Can I have ice cream too?" I asked testing my luck. Natasha shook her head,"no, you shouldn't have watched that video". I sighed. She was right and I couldn't argue with her. "What did I do?", I asked her. It must have been bad. "Not here", was the only response the Tasha was given willing to give me.

 **Thanks for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

When we got back to the car, I tried again. "Here?" I asked, Natasha knows what I mean. She looked over at me after she adjusted the mirror to check her makeup. I smiled when she ran a hand through my hair. "Okay, basically you lied", Natasha confessed to me. A lie, that was it. They killed because of a lie. "You pretended to be somebody else, somebody you're not just to gain the trust of those people and then when the lie was discovered you hurt a lot of people", Natasha continued. "Nah", I said because I didn't do that. Natasha frowned, "excuse me?" I started crying. "It wasn't me!", I'm shouting now. I tried getting of the car but it's locked. I even tried punching the glass but Natasha stopped me immediately. She held my wrists. "Stop it", Natasha told me in a stern tone. She was giving me a warning look. I cried heavier, waiting for the first blow. I shut my eyes as hard as I could. I had seen the footage, Natasha could give a pretty nasty punch. Natasha lets go of me, I open my eyes, give her one glance before trying to open the door again. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

"Okay you didn't do it, older you did but you can change right, you can make sure you don't do it alright?", Natasha told me in a reassuring tone. I nodded. Don't lie or else I die. I gulped as we pulled away. "Bobbi and Hunter picked up your stuff, we signed you out. You're coming to live with me, that okay?", Natasha informed me but I didn't have a say in the matter. I never do. "I'll get used to it", that wasn't technically a lie. I felt sick, did she still live with all those men? They scared me. They didn't look very friendly. Natasha sighed as we went underground to park the car. There was 19 other cars in the car park, Natasha called it a garage. That must mean there's 19 people here. "Is there a party on?", I asked her as we got in the lift. I still don't like the fact that it traps us in a little room, I hug Natasha slightly when we get in. "No, those cars belong to Tony. He's rich and loves expensive cars", Natasha explained to me. The doors opened on a really big floor with a subtle colour scheme of luxury decor. I had been here before, but I was panicking so I don't remember looking around. I step out of the lift and wait by the door. This is the kind of place that kids aren't allowed in. I don't want to upset Natasha.

"You're allowed to walk past the front door, Clint", Natasha informs me. I took cautious steps over to the couch before collapsing onto it. I want to go home. I don't like it here. "Is not telling lying?" I asked Natasha. If I stay quiet and don't speak then is that just as bad. "Yes Clint, not telling is lying", she told me with a frown. Natasha stood there waiting for me to continue. I sighed and mumbled, "I want to go home". Natasha told me to speak louder and clearer. "I want to go home", I said in a loud and clear voice. I started shaking, last time I said that at a new home I got a beating. I deserved it though. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

I'm not crying, I'm not a baby. Natasha puts her arm around my shoulder, I flinched. My instinct is telling me to guard my neck, I ignore it. I leant into Natasha, she's comfy, almost as comfy as Ma. "I'm sorry Clint, your parents are long gone by now", Natasha tells me as she wraps both arms around me. "That's not what I meant", I struggled to hold back the tears. I want Bobbi and Hunter. Did they not want me anymore. I blink rapidly, crying is a weakness. "Bobbi and Hunter", I mumbled as I tensed up waiting for a slap. I know I should appreciate having a home but the other guys scared me. They're monsters. "Shh shhh Clint, it's okay to want them and they're going to visit all the time but they have to work which means they may not be home for months at a time", Natasha explained to me. "Come on and I show you your room", Natasha said as she directed me down a corridor and into the first room on the left. "I'm right across hall", she reassured me. The room is massive. There's on wall filled with books and toys. I went straight over to them and looked through the different titles. My attention was then directed to the bed, it's a double bed with baby blue sheets. There's a desk and a wardrobe big enough to fit inside. I made a note to look for extra blankets and pillows for a nest. I ran over and looked out the window. I could see Central Park from here. I gave Natasha a hug, she smiled and hugged me back. I thanked her for the room. There was a man, from the party, standing at the lift/front door when we walked back into the living area. I held back a scream and held onto Natasha. "Clint, this is Steve, he lives here but on a different floor", Natasha informed me. Steve smiled at me, I felt sick as I ran back into my room.

I grabbed the duvet of my bed and dragged it into my wardrobe. I made a temporary nest. No one can reach me in my nest. I'm safe, I'm in my nest. I heard my door open. I'm in my nest. There was foot steps. I'm in my nest. My breathing sped up. "Clint", Natasha called me. She sounded worried. I'm in my nest. I started rocking back and forth. I'm in my nest, I'm in my nest, I'm in my nest. I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe. The wardrobe doors opened.

"Clint? Is it okay if I come into your nest with you?" Natasha asked me. I frowned before nodding slightly. Natasha will keep me safe. I cuddled into her. Natasha played with my hair while whispering soothing words. I became aware of how wet I made her top but Natasha waved it off. I felt myself slowly relax. "I like your nest", Natasha told me. I smiled. "We're safe", I told her more confidently this time. Natasha waited until I was ready to leave my nest before bringing me into the kitchen and starting on tea. I watched carefully fascinated by everything. Ma never had all of these tools. I ask her what everything is. Natasha told me as she waited for the coffee machine to be ready and she was also making me hot chocolate, she said I could put cream on it and put marshmallows in it. It sounds amazing.

"Thank you", I told Natasha as she placed the hot chocolate in front of me. "Careful, it's hot", Natasha warned me as she took a sip of her coffee. I put eight mini marshmallows in my cup but no cream because it would melt. As I drank the hot chocolate I felt myself get sleepy. "May I go to bed now?" I asked Natasha. She nodded and led me into my room. I climbed into bed. "Would you like a night light?" I'm not a baby. I shake my head. Natasha smiled, "okay, night night Clint". I close my eyes, trying not to think of all the other guys that live here. I'm not scared, I'm not a baby. Natasha closed the door and switched the light off. I couldn't see my hand I front of my face. I lied. I want a night light, I want Natasha. I'm not allowed to leave bed once I'm there. I rolled around in the covers, letting the tears flow. "Tasha?", I cried through sobs. I'm scared. "Tasha?", I tried again. "Would you like me to inform ms Romanoff that you would like to see her mr Barton", a voice came from the ceiling. I screamed. I couldn't stop. There was someone there and I couldn't see him anywhere. I could only hear them.

Natasha came running in, knocking on the light before she got to me. I crawled under the covers and hid from her. "I'm sorry", I said in a shaky whisper. Natasha crawled under with me and took me into her arms. I shook as I tried to calm myself. When I finally felt like I'd be able to speak properly I told her, "there's someone else in the room". Natasha smiled before running her fingers through my hair. "That's Jarvis", he's a computer and he runs the entire tower. He's really nice and helpful, if you ever need anything don't be afraid to ask Jarvis".

"I think I need a night light", I told her before she got out of the blankets. Natasha nodded before going to leave, I grabbed onto her. Please stay. "Jarvis can you make a small light source beside Clints bed?" Natasha asked Jarvis. "Yes ms Romanoff. It replied as it produced a small light source. I smiled but held onto Natasha tighter. "I'm scared, I don't like being alone" I told Natasha hoping that it would would be enough to convince her to stay. "Okay but I want to change into something comfier than jeans", Natasha agreed. I followed her into her room while she changed and then we both went back to my room. Natasha payed down and I cuddled into her. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I shook as I woke up, "just a bad dream". Natasha told me before I could panic more. I fell back asleep immediately.

I woke up and Natasha was gone. I got up immediately and went looking for her. "Tasha?" I called but there was no reply. I felt like crying again but then I remembered Jarvis. "Jarvis where's Tasha?" I asked him. "Natasha is on the common floor. The team always have breakfast together. Would you like me to tell Natasha that you're up or perhaps ask her to start making your breakfast for you", Jarvis left it up to me. "I'm not hungry, I'll stay here", I told him. I'd rather starve than go meet new people, even if they're Tasha's friends. I miss Bobbi and Hunter, it was just the two of them.

I went back into my room and started reading a book, when I looked back up at the clock it read 2 o'clock. I felt the familiar cramps in my stomach come back. It had been ages since I was starving. I felt weak as I stood up. I clutched my stomach. I felt like getting sick. "Are you okay, mr Barton?" Jarvis asked me. I ignored him. I walked towards the couch before collapsing onto it. "Where's Tasha?" I asked Jarvis, hoping the answer wasn't the common floor. It was. The pain in my stomach was unbearable. I got into the lift and Jarvis brought me up to the common floor. I could hear cheering, loud noises and a movie playing as the doors to the lift opened. I stepped out slowly, scanning the room for Natasha. I silently walked over to her, one arm remaining around my stomach. "Can I have something to eat please?" I whispered in her ear. Natasha smiled. "Of course Clint all you had to do was ask", she reassured me. Asking is a lot harder than she thinks. Natasha got up from her place on the couch and lead me over to the kitchen. She made me a bowl of cereal. I smiled and ate it. I flinched a couple times from scary moments in the movie. Natasha was sitting back where she was when I came in. I looked at the other guys suddenly realising how close they are to me. I jumped down and ran towards the lift. I pressed the button repeatedly and banged on the doors, "get me out of here!" I was practically shouting at this stage. Natasha came over to me and hugged me. "It's okay Clint, they won't hurt you. I promise". I nodded, letting Natasha lead me back to the group. Natasha sat on an arm chair and I sat on her lap. I looked at the guys but that only made me more nervous so I focused on the movie. I fell asleep towards the end. I woke up to them talking about me. "Jesus I've never seen a kid with so much anxiety, what the hell happened during those first 7 years?" One of them commented. "He is so shy, I wish he'd trust us a bit more", another one commented. I opened my eyes knowing it's not nice to ease drop. Natasha will keep me safe. "Hi", I whispered, they heard me though. "It speaks!", the first one comments again. I'm a he not an it. "Tony!" Steve snaps at him. I smile. It's funny seeing a grown up get in trouble. I get a serious of hi's, hellos and hey's back. I curled up more into Natasha, regretting saying hi. "Do you want to pick the next movie Clint?" Steve asks me. I shake my head immediately, I was always thought to never ask for anything. Then I remember I shouldn't lie. I'm confused. "Are you sure?", Steve confirmed with me. I felt like crying. I don't know what to do. I'm guessing that I was showing how I felt because Natasha started rubbing my back. "Is it okay to ask for stuff?" I ask Natasha. The look of their faces doesn't go unnoticed. Natasha nods. "Yes I want to pick a movie", I told Steve. He showed me how to browse through them. I picked stand by me. I cuddled into Natasha as I watched the movie. I fell asleep again and woke up just before the end. "Clint how much sleep did you get last night?" Natasha asked me when the movie was over. I shrugged hoping she'd drop it. I wasn't so lucky. "That's not an answer Clint", Natasha said sternly. The rest of the guys were getting up and discussing sparring and coffee. I fixed my gaze on a spot on the floor, "5 hours but..but I", I replied knowing I was going to be in trouble. "Alright come on you clearly need a nap", Natasha replied. She lead us up to my room. "Will you stay this time please Tasha?" I begged her. Natasha lay down beside me. I cuddled into her and fell asleep.

I woke up still cuddled into her, Natasha was reading her book. I smiled, content to just lie there. "Thank you for staying", I thanked Natasha. "I'm happy to stay if that's what you need, Clint", Natasha replied with a smile. I sat up and looked into the book she was reading. I read a few lines of each page before she turned them. I don't know what the book is about but Natasha's comfy and safe so I stayed.

When Natasha finished the book she put it down on my bedside table. "Do you want to talk about why didn't sleep last night?" Natasha asked me. I shook my head. I don't want to admit to weakness. I'm not a baby. "Are you used to having your own room, you had your own room in Bobbi and Hunters house", Natasha asked me still trying to get me to talk. I sighed. "Every night I waited either an hour or 2 before sneaking into their bed. I'm used to sharing a room with Barney. I don't like being alone. It's scary", I told her, hugging her tighter. "What's scary about it?" Natasha continued. I wish she'd stop asking these questions. "I don't know when someone is going to come back and sometimes the wrong people come back", I told her. "In the past, how were you left waiting?" Natasha asked me. I don't want to think about that night. I shook my head and blinked rapidly. Men don't cry.

"Clint please answer me, you're safe now", Natasha continued. "5 days", I whispered. I cuddled in as close as possible. Natasha held me tighter. I relaxed as I felt safe in her arms. "You can sleep in my bed if you want but only until you're comfortable here then you have to try sleep in your own room", Natasha offered me. I nodded eagerly. No more nightmares.

Natasha sat up, "come on its dinner time, Tony ordered pizza". I smiled but I still didn't like being around that many men. They could turn on us at any moment. Natasha doesn't see it but I do. I held Natasha's hand as we got the lift down. When the doors opened I stayed closer. "Hey Natasha, hi Clint", a woman with ginger hair and freckles greeted us. Natasha called her Pepper. "Hi", I replied with a small smile, still clinging to Natasha. "Clint there's sausage and pepperoni pizza over there, I heard you love that kind", Pepper told me as she pointed it out. There was so many pizza boxes. I grinned and took a slice. Natasha stood up and walked towards the other rooms, I followed her. "Clint I'm only going toilet, you'll be safe for two minutes on your own", Natasha told me as she redirected me to the rest of the group. I took in a deep breath. I can do this. "Little Clint, you eat rather slow compared to your bigger self", one of the men with a really loud voice commented. He scared me. I looked around, Natasha isn't back yet. She left me here, alone. I hugged Pepper, while trying to hold back the tears. "I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe", I whispered to myself repeatedly. Pepper was shocked for a moment but then she began rub my back. I relaxed slightly. Natasha came back in and tried to take me out of Peppers arms. "No! You left me and I got scared and you weren't there! You promised you'd protect me! I hate you! Get off of me!", I screamed at Natasha. I tightened my grip on Pepper. Natasha ran her hands through my hair, I hate the fact that it relaxed me. "Clint I'm sorry but I didn't leave you, I was only in the toilet", Natasha explained in a soft tone. "Would you like some more pizza?" Pepper asked me. I nodded and climbed off her lap. I ate more pizza in silence. I glanced over at Natasha, I can be brave for her. I walked over to where Steve was in the kitchen. I could see Natasha watching me. I tapped on Steve's side, he kneeled down to my level. "Can..I..", I took a deep breath, pushing away the feeling of panic, I continued "have a..a drink..please Steve?" Steve smiled, I relaxed knowing I did it right. "Of course". He got me a glass of water and I slowly carried it over to beside Natasha. I took a big sip and grinned. "Tasha look I was brave. I asked for a drink and Steve was really nice and he got me one and I was only a little scared", I told her proudly. Natasha was smiling but everyone else looked sad. "Why are yous sad did I do something wrong?" I climbed onto Natasha's lap. I started to panic. I knew they would turn on us. "I want to go to my nest", I told Natasha. They all smiled at that. "You're safe here Clint, how about if we set up a nest on this floor too?" Natasha asked me. I grinned.

Everyone joined in and helped me make a nest, it's a fort but I always called them nests, because they're comfy. This one is much bigger than the one in my room. I climbed in, grinning as I lied down on all the cushions. Tony gave me a tablet with YouTube playing on it. I thanked him and stayed in my nest while the adults talked on the couches. I decide I like Tony and Steve. Thor scares me. Bruce is shy like me but he has more confidence. It's like he's trying to hide something.

After an hour or two the tablet flashed low battery. I peeked out, the adults were playing poker. I walked over to Tony and handed him the tablet. He thanked me before focusing back on the game. I walked over to Natasha and cuddled into her. "What cards does Tony have?" Natasha whispered into my ear. I smiled. "That's cheating Tasha". Tony smirked, "ha he's on my side". I high fived Tony before going back to my nest. I wrapped myself in the blankets and fell asleep.

I smiled as I walked through the house at home, in Iowa. I ran up to my mom and hugged her. "Do you want to help me make a cake for Barney's birthday. I nodded eagerly. I helped mix the ingredients together and helped decorate it. "We need nine candies, cause Barney's nine", I told her confidently.

I ran through the field outside our home. "Barney we made you a cake for your birthday!" I called to him as I reached the tree. I quickly climbed up and told him all about the cake.

I woke up to the sound of water boiling. It took me a second but I realised I was in my nest. I miss my mom. I peaked out to see Bruce and Pepper. I crawled back in my nest. I let the tears soak my pyjamas. I don't remember getting into them. Mom why did you have to leave? My mom just has to play sick tricks on me and remind me of how happy I was when she was alive. I miss Barney too. He would always be there for me and protected me. I crawled out of my nest and into Pepper's arms. "Oh sweetie what happened?" She asked as she leant down and cradled me her arms. "I dreamt about my m..mom. I miss her. I want my mom back. And I dreamt about Barney. I miss having a brother", I said in between sobs. Pepper rubbed my back and allowed me to cry on her shoulder. "It was Barney's birthday and we made him a cake. I used to love baking with mom. We would bake nearly every weekend", I told her. I slowly began to stop crying content with being in Pepper's arms.

Natasha walked in a little bit later, she was wearing gym gear. She came straight over to us. "Clint what's wrong?" She asked me but Pepper replied. I don't think I'd be able to say it again without crying. "He dreamt about his mom". Natasha took me into her arms and held me tight. "I think I owe you a trip to Iowa", Natasha confessed. I grinned. "Really?", I asked just to make sure. Natasha nodded, "yep". "Are Bobbi and Hunter going with us?" I asked hopeful because I missed them. "No, I'm sorry but I'm sure the guys here would love to come with us". I nodded. "As long you sit beside me", I confirmed with Natasha.

 **Thanks for reading.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Natasha made me chocolate chip pancakes. I grinned and ate them. "There's more people from the team coming up here later on today Clint, okay? I am warning so that you don't get a fright", Natasha explained. I should have known you don't get chocolate chip pancakes for no reason. "What's there names?" I asked. "Scott, Wanda and Vision", Bruce replied. I frowned slightly, "vision is a weird name". Bruce laughed into his tea. "It's not nice to slag other people's names", Natasha told me off. "I'm sorry", I said before smiling.

"Can I go explore?" I asked Natasha. She nodded and told me to stay on this floor. I pouted because I wanted to check out the roof. My smile quickly returned when I found a games room, I played pac man. I heard more voices coming from the common area. I stood in the door way watching as Tony, Thor and Steve made their breakfast. Natasha and Bruce were talking to a man and a woman and a robot? "Is this the Clint, we've heard so much about?" The man, Scott called to me. He kneeled down in front of me. "I brought you something", he told me as he pulled a Hersey bar out of his jacket pocket. I grinned and thanked him. I sat on the couch and ate it. "See I'm great with kids", I heard Scott bragging. I like him already. "I can't believe that's Clint, how does that even happen?" Wanda asked. Tony and Bruce splurged a lot of science talk at her. I looked around and noticed that there was 9 people in the room, that's too many.

Vision sat down beside me. "Are you okay Clint?" Don't lie. I shook my head. "Too many people", I told him. I'm not sure why. I noticed my nest and ran straight over and crawled in. I'm safe, I'm in my nest. I could still hear the guys outside. "Natasha?" I called, I really want to go upstairs. Natasha didn't hear me, I climbed out of my nest and pulled her arm. "Natasha", I called wanting her attention. Natasha sighed, "what Clint?" She looked mad, I noticed the glass in her hand. I stepped back, "nothing, I'm sorry". I walked over to the lift and took the lift up on my own. I went straight to my room. I took out a book, Harry Potter. I began reading it and I couldn't put it down.

When I was half way through the book, Jarvis told me that Natasha is looking for me. I sighed as I carried my book with me. I took the lift down to the common floor. I read in the lift and dint notice the doors open until Jarvis pointed it out. I searched for Natasha. She came straight over to me. "Clint what did I say about leaving the floor?" Natasha asked me. I looked at the floor. "I'm disappointed Clint", Natasha told me before sitting down on the couch beside Steve. I frowned. "Disappointed?" I pulled at Natasha but she ignored me. "Why can't you just hit me? I don't want you to be disappointed. I heard Wanda gasp, the room went silent. I hugged Natasha but she stayed still. "Tasha I'm sorry, I was scared, I even tried going into my nest but I couldn't be brave enough. I'm sorry Tasha. Please just hit me instead. I don't want you to be disappointed in me", I sobbed. I could feel Natasha's heart beat on my hand. "Just hit me!", I was screaming at this stage.

I continued to sob into her shoulder. I eventually stopped. "Are you done." Natasha asked me. I nodded and relaxed when she wrapped her arms around me. "Clint, don't you dare ever tell someone to hit you", Natasha warned me. I cuddled into her, refusing to let go.

"When are we going to Iowa?" I asked Natasha. "Next weekend", Natasha answered. "Now" I want to go now. "Everything is booked for next weekend so that is when we are going Clint", Natasha explained. I nodded in understanding. "I can't wait!" I exclaimed.

I smiled when I woke up cuddled into Natasha. "Are we going today?" I asked her. "After a whole week I can finally say yes to that question", she replied with a smile. I stood up and jumped on the bed. "If you fall don't come running to me", Natasha warned me. I grinned and landed beside her. "Ahh, that's my arm", Natasha practically growled. "I'm sorry Tasha", I mumbled as I gave her a big hug. Natasha smiled, "it's okay". I wiggled out of Natasha's hold and got dressed.

I went back in and found Natasha asleep again, "Jarvis who's in the kitchen?" I looked up at the ceiling when I said it. " and Sir". I giggled because Jarvis called me a sir. I headed down to the kitchen, I could feel the hunger in my stomach.

I silently exited the lift and walked up to Pepper, "Good morning ". I put on my best British accent. She laughed and ran her hand through my hair. "Good morning ". I grinned as I sat up behind the breakfast bar. "Can I have poptarts for breakfast Pepper?", I asked her with the best puppy dog eyes I could manage. "Okay but only this one time", Pepper gave in to me. I grinned as I watched the toaster waiting for the pop. "Do they taste good?" I asked Tony who was sitting beside eating waffles and blueberries. "You've never had poptarts before?" Tony sounded surprised. I shook my head. "What about twinkies?" Tony asked, I had never heard of them. I shook my head again. "Wonka, Herseys, peanut butter cups?" Tony listed of the bars. I have never heard of them. "Nope", I replied as the poptarts popped. I jumped slightly. I went to take one out of the toaster. "Ahh", I pulled my fingers back and put them in my mouth. "Pepper I burnt my fingers", I told her as I reached for the tap. "Here put this on it", she said as she rubbed burn gel into it. Tony took out my poptarts, I thanked him and took a bite. My eyes lit up. I can't believe I never tasted this its just as good as ice cream.

"When are we going?" I asked Tony. I took another bite and smiled at how good it tasted. "She's the one that organises everything", Tony told me and pointed at Pepper. Pepper laughed. "Yeah Tony isn't good at that sort of thing. We'll be leaving at 11. It's 8 now, 3 hours", Pepper explained. I sighed. I want to leave now. "I'm going up to my work shop for a bit", Tony told us as he left. "Can I go with him?" I asked Pepper. She shook her head. I finished my poptarts before going back upstairs to find Natasha. "Jarvis where is Tasha?" I asked him when she wasn't in her room. " is the gym sir", Jarvis told me. I got back into the lift and pressed the floor for the gym.

The gym is massive. It consisted of a shooting range, a boxing ring, an area with exercise equipment, a trampoline, a floor covered in mats and track. I ran for the trampoline and started bouncing on it. I couldn't stop laughing.

After a while Natasha found me, she didn't look happy. I stopped bouncing. "Kids aren't supposed to be in here Clint", Natasha warned me. "Fine", I sighed and got down. Adults are mean. I turned around before getting in the lift, "please can I stay?" Natasha said nothing but pointed at the lift. I got in and went straight to my room. I couldn't help but crying. I just wanted to do something fun. I don't see why I wouldn't be allowed on a trampoline. Natasha just doesn't want me. I took down a book and a torch, and got into my nest, in the wardrobe. My rubbed my eyes with my sleeve.

I heard my door open. "Jarvis I thought you said he was in here", I heard Pepper say to the ai. "He's in the wardrobe ", Jarvis ratted on me. Pepper opened the wardrobe door. "Sweetie what are you doing in there", Pepper asked as she kneeled down. "It's my nest", I told her with a slight smile. I wished it was Natasha finding me. Pepper looked sad. I frowned because Barney always told me to go to my nest. I laid my head on my curled up knees. I wanted Natasha. But then again Natasha's angry. I felt tears build up in my eyes as Pepper rubbed my back. "It's okay Clint, you can come out of your nest now", she told me trying to convince me to leave it. I shook my head, keeping my face hidden. I didn't want Pepper to know I was crying. "We're leaving for Iowa soon, we're all ready to leave we just had to find you", Pepper explained. A small smile appeared on my face at the thought of Iowa. We were finally leaving. "I want Tasha", I said with a sob. "Natasha is in the car waiting for you", Pepper said before she stood up. I looked up at her and took in a deep breathe before l stepped out of my nest. I walked past Pepper and looked around the room. "What are you looking for Clint?" Pepper asked me, she had now moved to sitting on the bed. I looked back towards my nest. "Clint it's okay", Pepper reassured me, even though she didn't know what was wrong. "I forgot..I'm sorry, I'm an idiot", I focused my eyes on the ground as I sat beside her. "What did you forget Clint?", Pepper asked me, I searched for any sign that she would betray me and found none. "To pack a bag", I told her as I searched for one.

I found a bag under the bed with adults clothes, fake ids and weapons in it. "What did older me work as?" I asked her as she helped me pack a bag. "I never asked, but Natasha knows ask her", Pepper changed the subject immediately. "Are you excited to go to Iowa". I nodded eagerly as I ran for the lift.

The journey down took forever. "Can I sit beside Tasha?", I asked Steve as he greeted me with a high five. "Of course buddy," Steve smiled and pointed to the car that Natasha was in. I opened the back seat and frowned when I saw Bruce. "I'm right here Clint, I called shotgun", Natasha explained. "And you're letting her do that", I asked Bruce cautiously. He chuckled. "No one 'lets' Natasha do anything. She's free do what she pleases, to an extent," Bruce explained. Steve got in the drivers seat and asked everyone if they were strapped in before speeding out of the garage. I drifted of to sleep.

When I woke up we were in Iowa. It me a second but I quickly realised where we were. I knew this road all too well. I had nightmares about it. No one, not even Barney, knew that I witnessed the crash. I took in deep breaths. "Clint why are you crying, we do don't realise how much you missed this place", Bruce asked me in a calm tone, he was always calm. I like Bruce. I didn't realise I was crying. I pulled my knees up to my chest. Steve pulled over and Natasha got out of the car. "No!" We can't stop here. I felt my voice go. They need to know that we can't stop here. I looked at Steve, trying to plead that he keeps driving but it didn't work. I unstrapped myself and ran into Natasha's open arms. "No...no," I sobbed. "Please tell us what's wrong, did you have a nightmare". I shook my head and continued to sob. Natasha rubbed her hand through my hair. "It's okay, there's nothing to be scared of." I hugged Natasha. Mom used to relax me in the exact same way. I pushed away from Natasha. "No", it hurt to talk, I could feel a lump in my throat. I escaped Natasha's arms and ran into the corn field, beside the road. I kept running until I reached my old house.

There was someone else in it, someone else living there. I wiped my eyes with my shirt and sat on the kerb outside the house. Shortly after I sat down a man sat beside me. He was giving me a strange look. "Hey buddy, where's your parents? You've been sitting here awhile." He asked me. "They're dead sir", I told him in a cold, harsh tone. "Is there anyone I can call?" He offered as he put his jacket around me. I hadn't noticed the cold. "You were shivering", he explained. I smiled. "Thank you sir and no sir, I don't know their numbers". I replied. I took reluctantly took his jacket off of me. "I'm sorry for the trouble", I told him as I handed it back. He smiled sadly as he took it and left. Stark pulled up shortly afterwards, he looked relieved. Surely running away and getting lost is enough for a beating. "There you are kid, we were worried sick", he sighed as he hugged me. I froze in his arms. "Maybe coming to Iowa wasn't the best idea", Tony mumbled as he strapped me in. I pouted. I stayed silent as Tony called everyone to let them know I had been found. Tony drove up to a hotel, it was more like a castle. "Am I in trouble?" I asked him cautiously. Tony nodded, "probably". I sighed. I hopped out of the car and walked up to Natasha, keeping my head down the entire time. "I'm sorry Tasha", I told her as I hugged her tightly. Natasha sighed and bent down wrapping me up in a big hug. "No I'm sorry Clint. I should've realised where were we were and got Steve to detour," she hugged me back. I finally relaxed. I whispered in Natasha's ear, "can we go visit my mom and dad?" Natasha nodded and told Steve that she was bringing me out before leading me over to one of the cars.

When we pulled into a parking space, I got out and immediately held Natasha's hand. "It's scary here", I admitted as I stood as close as possible to her. Natasha handed me the flowers that I begged her to buy. It didn't take much she agreed very quickly.

As I walked up to the grave, still holding Natasha's hand. I gulped as I read the name, 'Rest in peace Edith Barton, a loving mother and daughter, and Harold Barton, a devoted father and son. I placed the flowers on the grave. "Can I have a moment?" I shyly asked Natasha. She took a step back, close enough to be able to see me not hear me. I felt the smooth rock and the engraving on the stone. "Dad you always told me not to cry when I'm down", it felt weird talking to a rock but strangely comforting. "But mom there's a tear every time that I blink". I wiped my eyes with my t-shirt. "Mom, every time I fell down you were there, and Dad you thought me how to be strong", I ran my fingers over the names. "Why did God have to take you back? I'm scared Mom, Dad I'm sorry but I I can't be strong. It's tearing me up" I smiled, "I remember what you used to say when I was sad, 'a heart that's broke is a heart that's loved' you were my angel Mom." I looked back to check that Natasha was still there, her eyes were watery. I smiled before turning my attention back to my parents. "Mom I hope that I can see the world as you did, after all we got to love our lives in order to live them, right?" I traced my fingers over the cross. "Are you listening Mom? Can you hear me from up there?" I looked up at the blue sky. "This is Natasha, she was my wife, but I hurt her and I'm really sorry about that. I'm trying my best not to make the same mistakes again. I'm not allowed to lie, that's how I hurt her. I don't remember what happened but I'd say I loved her for real. How could I not? She's really pretty and great for cuddles, but she's more than that she's strong and confident. She keeps me safe. She's really kind. Do you like her mom?", I looked back to Natasha again. She was smiling at me. "I'm sorry Mom, I don't know what happened to Barney. I mean I might have known but I don't remember". Natasha tapped me on the shoulder, telling me we have to go now. "Goodbye Mom, goodbye Dad", I said my final words before standing up, I brushed the dirt off my knees and took Natasha's hand again. I was sad that Bobbi and Hunter couldn't come but at least the guys from the tower came with us. I waved at the grave as we walked back to the car. I wiped away the rest of the tears as I leant into Natasha. "Do you feel better now?" Natasha asked. I nodded.

"I'm tired", I told her as I strapped myself in. Natasha drove back to the hotel. No one was home. "We need to get some dinner into you before you sleep", Natasha told me. I nodded, struggling to keep my eyes open. "Aww somebody's sleepy", Tony mocked. I reached out for him, he carried me up to my room. "He trusts you", I heard Natasha tell Tony. I yawned and fell asleep on his shoulder on the way.

 **Thanks for reading xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I woke up on a huge bed wrapped up in blankets, Natasha was lying on the covers. I heard the tv playing. I cuddled into her, smiling as she ran her fingers through my hair. I felt the familiar pains in my stomach. "I.. I'm hungry", I told her as I got out of the blankets. "What would you like?" Natasha asked. I grinned, "granola". "I don't think I've ever seen you eat anything expect pizza, pancakes and granola bars", Natasha realised how limited my diet was. I shrugged. I don't want anything else. "Alright granola it is". I sat at the table and waited for Natasha to find my granola bars. Natasha found them and handed them to me. I wandered around the room while eating my granola. I looked out the window and saw kids playing the fields attached to the hotel.

"I miss Barney", I admitted as I finished the rest of the granola. "I know you do Clint and I'm sorry I can't do anything about it", she explained to me. There was a knock on the door, Natasha answered it to reveal Pepper. "Hi!" They hugged before Natasha let Pepper in. "The guys are having a few drinks in a bar down the street, I thought we could have a girls night or something like that", Pepper explained. I got down from the table and hugged Pepper. "Night", I told them both before crawling back into the bed. I could hear Pepper and Natasha talking as I fell asleep.

Suddenly I'm standing on the middle of the road, I look to the side and Barney and mom are standing there. They told me that in order to join them, I must stand in the middle of the road.

"No I'm not doing it", I cried. "I don't want to die". I could feel Natasha shake me. "Shh, it's just a dream", she consoled me. I wiggled over to Natasha and cuddled into her. I sat up and looked around the room, it was still dark but I wasn't tired anymore. "Sleep", Natasha whispered and pulled me down and into a tight hug. I didn't sleep but I lay wrapped up in her arms.

"Mmm Clint", Natasha whispered as I played with her hair. "Miss you", she admitted. "I'm right here Tasha. I'm right here," I whispered to her. "No miss my Clint", Natasha told me and pushed me away. I missed the comfort of her arms. I felt a few tears drop. "I am your Clint", I whispered as a last effort to convince her. I started shivering from the loss of heat. She didn't want me. I got out of the bed, getting a drink before putting my shoes on and going to look for the other guys. It was still dark out. I hadn't been to anyone else's room so I didn't know where they were. I found the pool and grinned when I managed to get in. I stripped down to my boxers and jumped in. I swam as best as I could to the edge, quickly becoming tired. I clung to the edge. I started shivering again. I swam around some more before getting out. I sat with my feet dangling over the edge, still shivering. I lay down beside the pool.

"Jesus Clint" I faintly heard Steve. He pulled me into his arms and wrapped me in a towel. He then wrapped me up in a blanket. I clung to him. "Steve?" I asked him. "Yeah it's me buddy. You're hypothermic. What were you doing down here?" He responded with another question. "Swimming", I answered, that was an obvious question. "Where's Natasha?" Steve asked me. "Sleep...she didn't want me. She wanted older Clint so I left", I told him as I stole his body heat. Steve carried me back up to mine and Natasha's room. We met Natasha just as the lift opened. I focused on the ground, knowing I was in trouble. "Jesus Clint you're soaking. Where was he?" Natasha asked Steve. "In the pool" Steve replied as he handed me into Natasha's arms. "Am I heavy" I asked Natasha as she carried me back into our room. Natasha sighed, "not one bit, you're practically skin and bone". Natasha seemed saddened by that fact, I don't know why. I giggled when Natasha threw me onto the bed. "Can we go to the park today?" Natasha nodded in response. I grinned and laughed as Natasha tickled me.

She stopped leaving me panting for air. "I can show you the way to the playground", I grinned as I jumped on the bed. We need to have showers first. "Can I have one with you?" Natasha shook her head. I sighed, still hating showers. "Is the water going to be warm?" I asked her causing her to chuckle, "of course". I watched as Natasha pulled soap, shampoo and conditioner out of her bag. "You're first", Natasha said as she pointed to the bathroom. I slowly walked in. "I don't like showers", I told her as I got to the bathroom door. I was hoping she would say that I don't have to have one. "You're still going to have a shower Clint".

I grinned as I came out. "Tasha the water was roasting!" I told her as I got dressed in the clothes she left out. "Looks like someone enjoyed their shower", I nodded in response. I played games on Natasha's phone as I waited for her to be ready. I heard my stomach growl and chuckled at it.

After breakfast we met up the team, as Natasha calls it. We drove to the park. I hopped out as soon as the car stopped and ran for the playground. Steve caught up with me and told me to wait. I did as he said.

We played in the playground, had a picnic, and climbed trees. I sat down beside Natasha and leant against her. "Did we come all way out here to go to a park?" Tony asked me. I took in a deep breath and hid behind Natasha. Natasha cupped my cheek, I flinched. I looked around t the team, they look shocked that I flinched. "We came here so that Clint could say goodbye to his mom and dad", Natasha told them. I didn't mind. "I'm sorry kiddo", Tony told me on the way back to the car. I smiled and got in. "When are we going home? I miss my nest" I asked Natasha as we drove back to the hotel. "Tomorrow morning", she replied, "we'll make a nest in the hotel room." I grinned.

I stared out the window for a while before saying, "I didn't realise how much I'd be triggered." Natasha smiled reassuringly at me, "I know but you wouldn't have been happy if you didn't come though." She was right. I begged for months, now that I'm here I want to go home. "You shouldn't have to know those terms", Steve interjected. I frowned not understanding what he meant. I shrugged. "We're going out for dinner, all of us", Steve informed me. I inhaled sharply. "Okay", I didn't want to be any trouble. Natasha reached over and held my hand. I smiled at her and clung to it. "I want my nest", Barney always knew what I meant by that. It means I'm going to panic, but I don't want to. Being in my nest helps. "Clint can I ask you something? Please me as honest as you can", Bruce asked me. I nodded. "I always be honest with you", I mumbled half trying to convince myself that I can change. "What do you mean when you say you want your nest?" Bruce finished his question. I hummed, not wanting to answer the question but not wanting to lie.

"Panic", I whispered. Natasha's squeezed my hand. "I want my nest" I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to be here. "I want my nest!" I screamed as we pulled up to the hotel. I got out and ran into Natasha's arms, my tears stained her shirt but I'd learnt by now that they don't care. A voice in the back of my head told me men don't cry. I didn't listen to it. I started shaking in her arms. Natasha walked me up to the hotel room. I let go of her and ran to the bed stripping it of the sheets, pillows and blankets. I spread the pillows around in a circle, Natasha put four chairs around them and helped me to place the sheet over the chairs, I then added the blankets and climbed in. I felt relaxed after making the nest. "I feel safe, I only feel safe in my nest. It was my way of telling Barney that I was going to have a panic attack. I panicked earlier because I wanted to be good and I agreed to going but I'm scared. I want to be good Tasha. Please d..don't b..be mad," my voice broke at the end.

Natasha held me. "You are being good Clint, really good. I'm not mad. Can I tell you a secret, I'm scared too. Every time I go on a mission or have to fight. I'm scared, but I used that fear to work through it," Natasha explained. I sighed and relaxed in her arms. I pretended to fall asleep while lying on top of her, to stop her from moving.

After a good while of lying there Natasha announced that she had to get ready and so did I. "I don't wanna go", I told her after I changed into a suit that Tony and Pepper picked out. "We're just going for dinner Clint it's not a big deal", Natasha dismissed my statement. I'm not getting out of this. "Can I go find Bruce", I asked Natasha because she was near ready. Bruce always helped me calm down. He's a doctor but he always says he's not that kind of doctor. I don't believe him. "Yeah go ahead he's just down the hall".

But this time I didn't want to go see Bruce. I just wanted to get away. "I don't want to be here." I said to no one as I sat against the wall beside the lift. "Get me out here!" My chest felt heavy as I rocked back and forth. I felt a hand on my back, instinctively I kicked them in the shin. "Oww, you really can knock a punch", Tony reacted taking a step back. He kneeled down this time, "it's okay kid, I'm not gonna hurt you. You're okay here". I shook my head, "no, no, it's not okay. I'm not okay. Where's Barney? I need Barney. Please. Please Tony." I guess they all heard me panicking. Natasha was behind me, Bruce beside me and Pepper hugging me telling me s alright. "Guys how about we stay in tonight, order Pizza or something" Cap suggested. I sighed with relief when they all agreed.

I slowly stood up, my legs shaking as I did. I leant against Natasha. I felt like I owed them some explanation, "restaurants means drinking, drinking means getting drunk, drunk means pain, pain means hospital". I put it plainly and simply. That's what happened when we went out for dinner. We only did it once, I hated it. I looked around at the shocked faces, I gulped while checking the exits. Natasha's grip on me tightened. "I'm sorry", I winced leaning slightly away from her. "Natasha relax...he's safe. Clint is safe here", Bruce said calmly and cautiously.

I tried to pull away from her. Natasha's eyes looked glazed over. She was somewhere else. "Tasha it hurts" I complained even though I had felt worse. Her grip only tightened. Her arm was wrapped around my waist, I struggled to get a full breath in. "Tasha I'm sorry please don't hurt me. Please stop. It hurts Tasha. Let me go!" I cried as I struggled to get away. Tasha let go suddenly causing me to fall to the ground. I quickly got up and ran for the bathroom. It sounded so cliche but it was the only room with a lock. I heard soft muffled cries after I finally calmed myself down. Natasha. I felt an odd familiar feeling like I should help her. But I couldn't. She hurt me. I lifted my shirt up revealing the bruises that Natasha left. I sighed as I left the bathroom. I wiped my tears on my sleeve. I sat on the bed, as far away from Natasha as possible. I watched as they all, but Bruce, ignored me. I appreciated that. Bruce walked over to me. My gaze was fixed on Natasha.

"You look confused about something", Bruce sat beside me. "I am", they don't normally regret hurting me. "Why is she crying? They normally feel better after..." I couldn't finish the sentence. Bruce looked down, he was thinking. "Should I say something to her? Talk to her? I don't know what to do" I asked Bruce. Natasha looked terrified, terrified of herself. I slowly stood up and crept towards her. I kneeled down beside Natasha, not saying a word.

"You don't look satisfied. You look..guilty", I whispered. I suddenly felt angry. "Was hurting me not enough? Making me not be able to breathe not enough for you? You a broke a rib you know! It fucking hurts! Now I feel more scared than I ever have", I backed away from all of them. I couldn't stop the sinking feeling that I am just waiting for the final blow. "I'm scared Tasha. How do I know that I can trust you? All of you. I want my brother back, I want my family back. At least I knew what to expect...I want Barney." My back hit the door. "You can always trust us Clint", Natasha seemed to have snapped out of her trance. "I am extremely sorry that I hurt you Clint. I also have a past, a dark one." Natasha ran her hand through my hair. I smiled. That felt familiar, nice. "There's that smile I love", Natasha smiled. I leant in closer until I was lying against her. I moved her hair out of her face and tipped her tears away. I smiled, "I'm hungry". Thor laughed. "Get the boy a feast!" He declared causing me to laugh. Tony checked his phone. "Pizza should be here any minute now. I'll go down and get it", Tony said as he left.

After dinner, I sat on Natasha's lap. I looked around at the team. Then back to Natasha, "what was your mom like?" Natasha shifted slightly. "I don't know, I never met her. And before you ask me about my dad, I don't know him either. I didn't exactly have a traditional childhood."

I frowned while hugging her, "I get it...you don't have to talk about it". I wouldn't want to.

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	16. Chapter 16

The next morning we packed up and headed to the car. I held onto Natasha's free hand as the lift descended. I felt the my stomach drop in the lift, there was a bad smell in it. Like somebody farted. I ran out as soon as the door opened. I ran outside, where Tony and Pepper were waiting beside the cars. "Goodbye lobbyman, goodbye hotel, goodbye shop, goodbye trees, goodbye town, goodbye hawks, goodbye Iowa", I got in the car and strapped myself in. "Are you sad to be leaving?" Pepper asked me. I didn't have to lie. "Yes, but I have a better home now. Don't I?" I didn't want to sound cocky. Pepper held my face in her hands, it felt very awkward. "Of course you do and never doubt it". I smiled as I sat back, getting Peppers hands off of me.

"Is it okay if you ride with us instead of Steve and Natasha. They have to take a detour and wont be back for a few days", Pepper asked me, although I got the feeling it wasn't a question. "Yeah, but I'll miss Tasha", I mumbled as I tried to undo my seatbelt. Pepper stepped back and Natasha replaced her. "Hi Tasha", I smiled as I played with a piece of her hair. "Hi Clint", Natasha grinned in response. "How long?" I asked her as she tightened my seatbelt and placed my backpack at my feet. "A week max", Natasha said in a reassuring tone. I nodded. "I bet you'll be longer", I mumbled as she backed away from the car. Steve immediately started talking to Natasha about the best route to Michigan.

Bruce closed my door then got in other side. Pepper sat in the front seat while Tony drove. I looked out the window and waved to Natasha as we took off. I was glad that Tony detoured to avoid that road. I dosed in and out of sleep. I could hear Tony and Bruce talking about a lab, some experiment and other science talk. "Is there a way to like reage him? If that's even a thing?" Pepper asked them. Now I knew what they were talking about. "I highly doubt it, even if we could, we've messed with his memories, he'll have conflicting thoughts. One side will tell him to hail hydra, the other will tell him not to lie and that he was adopted into a loving family, where there's no reason for violence. It'd be like schizophrenia", Bruce answered. My eyes were shut but I could feel his on me. I kept my breathing steady, let them think I'm asleep for as long as possible. What's a hydra? I heard that mentioned somewhere before.

I continued to pretend to be asleep until I actually fell asleep. I woke up to Tony lifting me out of the car, I clung onto him. "Can't I just make Jarvis carry him?", Tony asked Pepper. Pepper laughed, "good luck with that, little hawk has some grip". I smiled. "If you're awake you can walk", Tony said as he put me down. I stretched before running to catch up with Bruce. "Hi Bruce", I greeted him as I reached him. "Hi Clint", Bruce smiled, he looked tired. "Can I use you're laptop?", I gave my best puppy dog eyes. Bruce nodded. I grinned, following him up to his floor. "Stay on this floor, okay? I don't want my laptop going missing", Bruce instructed as he headed to his room.

I opened up his laptop and sighed as I waited for it to load. I opened up Google and searched deaging but nothing factual came up. Maybe I was the first one. Hydra came to mind then. I searched Hydra, a lot came up. I read a few news articles about how hydra took over shield. "What's shield?", I whispered to myself. I searched that next. There was a lot of conflicting information about shield, but all in all. Shield was good, hydra was bad. I was hydra. I clicked back into google before searching hail hydra, I found a few cctv clips of former shield agents who were found out to be hydra. I recognised a certain name, Jasper Sitwell. I held my breath as Natasha and Steve threw him off a building, repeatedly. I didn't notice Bruce coming back in until he sat beside me. I pulled the laptop down, and pushed it a side. "What is Natasha's job? What was my job? What is Steve's job? What do all of you work as?", I asked Bruce, still in shock about the video. "What did you watch?" Bruce asked me, no one wanted to tell me what their job was or even mine. "Natasha and Steve pushing my friend off a building", I told him in Russian. I told the truth, no one said anything about having to speak English. "He said that Natasha and Steve pushed his friend off a building, the triskeleton to be exact. Jasper Sitwell, a member of hydra", Jarvis ratted me out. I pouted, stupid obedient ai.

Bruce sighed, putting his head in his hands. "You remember him?" He looked at me pleading for me to be wrong. I nodded, very vividly. "Did he ever mention hydra?" I shook my head. I don't want to be pushed off a building. Bruce sighed, "use your words Clint". I backed away slightly. "His father did", I told Bruce. "He used to say hail hydra to us and we'd have to say it back, I didn't question it. Jasper told me not to", I kept my eyes on the ground as I told him. "Fuck", Bruce swore causing me to flinch. I tensed slightly as I backed away a little more. "I'm sorry Clint, but you hydra is bad right?" I nodded, I didn't understand why though. "Hydra is bad, I'll never mention it again", I confirmed with him. Bruce smiled and nodded, "good".

"We work as sort of like an army, we protect people and sometimes put our lives at risk to do so", Bruce told me as he made himself a cup of tea. "You don't look very strong", I commented causing Bruce to chuckle. "I'm not but I'm smart, really smart and when I get angry I can defend myself", he explained as he sat beside me. "Are you a doctor? Tony always calls you a doc". Bruce laughed. "I'm not that kind of doctor, I have a PhD in physics", he informed me.

I heard the lift ding, before Tony walked in. His jeans were covered in oil and he was wearing an AC/DC t shirt, he looked more normal. "Hey doc, I need you to look at this", Tony said as he handed Bruce a lab report. Bruce frowned then glanced at me and then up at Tony. "Where did you get the sample from?" Bruce asked Tony. "I took in the hospital before he woke up, I had to know how they did this", Tony said and pointed at me. I watched both of them carefully. Tony turned back to Bruce. "He was dead, does that not make you question this. How do we know this is even Clint. That would make a lot more sense, then the alien DNA in his chromosomes. Fuck but the results are right there, this isn't humane", Tony rambled on. I sat there confused, too much science talk. Bruce studied the report before he turned to me, "would it be okay if we took a another sample of blood and saliva?" I stiffened, I don't understand what that entails. I nodded, wanting to be good. "We'll do it in the lab, this way", Bruce said as he helped me up. I followed them to the lab, it was on the top floor. I felt my nerves build up. Tony pointed to a stretcher where I could sit. I looked out the window, I don't want to do this. I remembered Barney telling me to never admit to fear. "I'm scared, we're up too high", I said as an excuse to leave. They both held in a laugh.

"We all know that's not true, so what's scaring you?" Tony asked me as he sat beside me. He motioned for Bruce to stay where he was. I leant against him. "I don't understand what's going to happen. I don't like not knowing, it scares me", I explained. "How about if I do it first, so you know what is going to happen?" Tony asked me, it made me a lot less nervous to know he was willing to go through the same thing just to make me feel better. Bruce came over to us and handed Tony a wooden lollipop stick. Tony put it in his mouth, rubbed it of his cheeks then put it in the bag that Bruce at open. Tony was written on the bag. Bruce handed me a stick and I copied Tony, then put it in the bag labelled Clint. "See that wasn't so bad", Tony said with a smile. Next, Bruce drew up a sample of Tony's blood. I shook my head. "No", I said as Bruce went to reach for my arm. "I'm scared", I felt tears built up in my eyes. "We get scared too, but we need you to be brave for us, okay?" Tony comforted me. I held out my arm and switched my attention to Tony while Bruce drew the blood. "Are you smart too?" I asked Tony. He scoffed. "Smart, I'm a genius" Tony replied in a cocky tone. I chuckle before asking them, "is it okay to be smart?" They both answered yes without any hesitation. I smiled. "Am I smart?" Tony smirked. "Do you want to do an IQ test? It'll test how smart you are", he asked as he rushed around the lab trying to locate his stark pad and asking Jarvis to set things up, like a timer and sound proofing the area. "We guess that you are very smart", Bruce informed me as he inverted the blood sample. I laughed because I had never answered them.

Tony handed me the stark pad and told me to start when I was ready, he explained the questions with a sample one. When I understood, they left me to complete the test.

"I'm finished", I called to them, most of the questions were repetitive. Tony asked Jarvis what my IQ was. Bruce frowned, "normally it takes about 2 weeks, of course it would take about 2 minutes for Jarvis". "Clint Barton's IQ is 130, making him in the top 2 percentile", Jarvis announced. I watched their faces, not understanding what that meant. They were both grinning, Tony was practically bouncing on his heels. "What subject in school are you best at?" Tony asked me. "I hate school", I said as I thought of the boring long hours of sitting there doing nothing. "How come older you never told us?", Bruce asked but it was more of a thoughtful question than a direct one. "I speak eleven languages if that has anything to do with it", I told them in a confident tone trying to sound smart. "Eleven? Jeez that's a lot, and you were able to shoot a bow and never miss, literally you were freakishly good at it,..no wonder you were a master assassin", Tony paused at the end of his sentence then Bruce glared at him. A silence hung in the lab. Bruce pinched his nose.

I was a master assassin, like a ninja? Like James Bond? I couldn't be. "Did I kill people?" I asked anyone who would answer. "..no", Tony lied. I glared at him. "If I can't lie then neither can you", I told him in a harsh tone. Tony sighed before nodding.

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	17. Chapter 17

"But only bad guys and you refused to kill children, that's how you met Natasha. You refused to kill her because she was still a kid", Bruce added in. I frowned trying to take all this in, I had a feeling that I didn't work as something normal, especially after finding the bag with clothes and weapons in it under my bed. "I didn't expect that", I mumbled. There was a moment of silence before Bruce broke it by asking me, "how do you feel about that Clint?" I didn't think about that. "Umm, I don't know, I mean it wasn't me...it was older Clint. I'm different right? That's why they deaged me isn't it. They want me to be different". I looked around the room searching for any clear exit paths. I didn't want to cry in front of them. There was about 50 people in the lab. I ran over to Tony, pulling at his top to get him to lean down. "What okay", Tony said as he leant down. I hugged him and let the tears flow. Tony picked me up and carried me to the lift, Bruce followed us. "I'm sorry, I..I, it wasn't me", I mumbled in an attempt to believe it. Tony rubbed my back. He pulled my chin up so that I was facing him. "Of course Clint, you have to remember that nothing older Clint did is your fault or responsibility", Tony instructed me. I nodded in response. The lift opened on the common floor. I stepped away from Tony and walked out. I sat on the couch where Wanda and Vision were watching a movie. I curled up in a ball, missing Natasha.

"Aww are you okay Clint", Wanda asked me. She had a very distinct accent. It sounded slightly like Tasha's accent but more pure. I nodded, "yeah, I'm okay". Wanda smiled before she turned back to the movie. "I just miss Tasha that's all", I mumbled. "Do you want to lie beside me?" Wanda asked with open arms. I nodded before cuddling into Wanda. "You sound like Tasha but different", I smiled as I closed my eyes and listened to Wanda tell me about her where she was from.

Wanda turned her attention back to the movie, I watched it even though I didn't know what was going on. "Are Natasha and Steve gone to kill someone?" I asked when the credits came on. "No, they're gone to get a USB off of someone who stole it, it contains very lethal information when in the wrong hands. Where did you get the idea that they were killing people?" Vision answered me before asking his own question. "Tony said that I was a master assassin, I was wandering if Natasha and Steve were assassins too?" I asked before letting my thoughts out. "Please don't say they kill people too. Natasha said that she had a dark childhood, what does that mean? And fuck sake isn't Captain America dead. He flew a plane into the water like 70 years ago. I don't understand it's too much to take in...I want Tasha", I sniffled, trying to hold back the tears, I was sick of being weak. I took in shaky breaths. I didn't notice that Pepper was on the other side of me until she was rubbing my back. "It'll be like no time before she's home only 6 days. It'll fly by Clint. What do you normally do to take your mind off things?" Pepper was right I needed to distract myself. "Read", I told her as I sat up and wiped my tears away. I watched as they all tried to find a book I could read, I almost rolled my eyes at Pepper when she asked if I wanted her to read it to me. "I have the perfect book for you", Scott came back in with a children's book, 'Grimm's tales'. He handed it to me and I thanked him before reading the back.

"It sounds good", I said as I began reading it. I slowly walked into my nest, not missing a sentence. It was very interesting, it was about fairy tail creatures living among people and a Grimm. The Grimm's job was to kill the creatures who were bad and keep the good ones in order. It reminded me of my job, maybe killing the bad guys wasn't so bad after all, if it meant keeping the good guys safe. I climbed out of my nest, and found Pepper. "Pepper I'm hungry", I told her as I dragged her to kitchen. Pepper laughed, "oh okay, you looking for a snack in between reading?" I smiled as I sat up on the high stools at the island. "No I'm starving. Can I have dinner?" Pepper sighed, "I'm really not that good at cooking". "Who is good at cooking?" I asked, I'll go find them and beg them to make me food. "You were", Pepper said with a chuckle. I face palmed.

"Can I have granola and milk then, please?" I asked her. Pepper smiled, "that I can do". Pepper handed me a bar of granola and a glass of milk. "Thank you Pepper", I said as I picked up the milk to take a big sip. "I'll order food, no pizza or anything like that this time though. We're getting healthy food", Pepper told me as I ate the granola bar. Scott sat beside me, "so what do you think so far?" He grinned. "It's really good, and I'm finished the book, I'll go get it for you", I said as I hopped down and retrieved the book from my nest.

Scott looked surprised when I handed it to him. He flicked through the book, "you're kidding right? There's like 800 pages in this and you read it in like 20 minutes", Scott asked with a slight laugh. I shook my head. "Am I allowed to leave this floor?" I asked him, bored with this conversation. I'd had it a million times. "Umm I don't know, ask Pepper", Scott replied, he was just refusing to take responsibility. I nodded, "okay". "Jarvis where's Pepper?" I asked the ai. "In her office, " I giggled at him calling me . "Is she allowing guests?" I asked him. Scott looked at me curiously, "you've great manners Clint". I smirked, "it was either have manners or get hit so...yeah". I looked around waiting for Peppers reply. Wanda and Scott looked shocked, Tony nodded slightly. That's interesting. "Yes, is allowing only you in her office", Jarvis replied after he asked Pepper. I grinned as I went to go find Peppers office with Jarvis's directions.

I knocked on the door before entering. I looked around the room, one of the walls was entirely made of glass and gave an amazing view of New York City. I walked over and looked out. "Why only me?" I asked her. Pepper looked up from her work, "so Tony won't come in and annoy me". I laughed, a smile remained on my face. "Doesn't he own the business?", I was confused. "Yes, but I'm CEO. I do all the business, he gets paid that's all and he creates and fixes things", Pepper explained briefly. "So he's a billionaire mechanic?" I asked, to sum it all up. Pepper smiled, "he's a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist in his words ,without the playboy anymore". "Can I ask you one more thing? You can just say if this is too personal or if I should ask Tony", I thought to Tony's reaction to me admitting that I was hit for not having manners. Pepper frowned slightly, but nodded anyways. "Did Tony's dad hit him?" Pepper pressed her lips together, suddenly blinking more frequently. Whether she verbally answered me or not, she just confirmed my theory. Pepper stood up and sat on the couch in her office, "you should ask Tony". I sat beside her and gave a big hug, "I'm sorry I upset you, Pepper." I gave her a kiss on the cheek and giggled. Pepper smirked, "oh I'm going to have to tell Tony about that, he's got competition". I chuckled before remembering that I'd never asked her what I actually came in here for. "Am I sleeping in my room or somewhere else.." I asked her as I played with her loose hair, there was only one piece. "Where would you like to sleep?" Pepper asked. I'm not answering that. I pressed my lips together as I looked at with pleading eyes, hoping she'd understand. I've practically been conditioned to never answer back. "Would you like to sleep with Tony and I?" Pepper tried asking it a different way. I grinned and nodded, "yes and thank you". Pepper hugged me and smiled, "now get out I've work to do and dinner will here in ten minutes, Jarvis ask Scott to go down and get it". I smiled as I left. I heard Jarvis agree to her request.

I smirked when I found Thor's phone. I tried to think of what Thor would text about, poptarts. I found Tony's number before texting him

Thor: Man of Iron, someone stole my poptarts

I held in a laugh.

Tony: I'll order more..big guy

Thor: I want them now, I can't finish my feast without the mighty poptarts

Tony: I asked Jarvis to order them...Thor isn't here ..who is this?!

Thor: come on genius, take a guess? :)

Tony: Man of hawk? You never change do you

Thor: ?

Tony: it's just something older you would do...prank me...I'm getting you back for this

I laughed as I put the phone down where I found it. Scott appeared moments later with bags of food, "she ordered from the healthy place again". He sighed as he took out the food. "Is that bad?" I asked him. "No, it's great, the food is delicious from it", Pepper answered while giving Scott a warning look. I jumped slightly, not hearing Pepper come in. Pepper took out all the food and divided it up. Slowly everyone gathered around the kitchen island. Pepper took out a separate container for my dinner, it was meatballs and mash potatoes. I smiled and thanked her. I looked over to see everyone eating at the couch, while watching a movie. My smile dropped as I sat at the island. Thor came over and stood beside me, causing me to tense up. I thought I was doing the right thing. "Why don't you eat with us boy of hawk?" I smiled, I love Hawks. "I can't, I have to eat here. Old habits die hard", I mumbled while picking at my food. "Come one boy of hawk, it's not that hard to break a habit you just need a little nudge", Thor said before he picked me up from behind. I screamed and kicked, "let me go". My breathing sped up. Thor is really strong. "Help! Please let me go". "Thor put him down", someone instructed him. Thor put me down on the couch. I ran into my nest.

I held onto my knees as I panted to try get air in. "I'm sorry", I repeated over and over. Pepper climbed into my nest, I held my head in between my arms, protecting it from the worst blow. Men don't cry. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

"I'm sorry, Pepper. I'm sorry. Please don't hit me. I'm sorry, I thought I was being good. Pepper please say something. I'm sorry...I I'm s sorry", my voice broke at the end. Pepper hugged me and kissed my hair. "You did absolutely nothing wrong Clint". I relaxed slightly in her arms. I would have preferred Tasha. Pepper stayed there until I relaxed and stopped crying. My stomach growled. We climbed out of my nest. I clung to Pepper and kept my eyes trained on the ground. I pulled at Pepper so that she would lean down, "may I still have dinner...please". Pepper looked at me sympathetically, she nodded. I sat up on the high stool and began eating. I grabbed onto Pepper's hand when she was about to leave. "Stay", I said in a shaky tone. I couldn't look over at the other guys. I took in a shaky breath and kept eating. Tony brought Peppers dinner over to her, "thank you Tony", Pepper kissed Tony before sitting up beside me. I finished as quickly as I could. "Hey kid you want to go up to my workshop with me?" Tony asked me, he glanced at Pepper, she nodded. "Yes", I nodded eagerly before hoping down and dragging him to the lift. Tony smiled as we got in. I relaxed once the doors shut.

"I need your help with something, I want to teach Jarvis some other languages and teach him teach himself them", Tony explained. I grinned, "you need my help, but you're the genius". Tony scoffed. "I'm just going to pretend that wasn't an insult, you're a genius too Clint. Top 2 percentile. That's Mensa stuff right there", Tony said as he pointed to my head. He grinned as he pulled his wallet out and handed me a card, "That's for you". I grinned, "your credit card". I hid the card in my closed fist. The look of horror on his face for a split second was worth it. "Very funny hawk boy", Tony quickly regained his composure. The door opened, this workshop was different. We stepped out of the lift, no one else was here. "This is my workshop, only you, Bruce and Pepper are allowed in, but only when you're looking for me or with me", Tony explained.

I listened as Tony explained programming and to me and set me up with a simple programming device. I programmed Dummy to throw paper balls at Tony. "He has terrible aim", I laughed as Tony dodged every one. Tony asked me to record a lot of words and phrases in Russian. I explained the Russian alphabet and basic phrases. Tony done the programming and switched it into Jarvis's voice.

I yawned as I lay down on the couch in the workshop. I watched as Tony played music and argued his ideas with Jarvis. The lift opened moments later, revealing Pepper. She smiled at me. "I thought I told you not to do that", Tony responded to his music being turned off. "I don't recall that conversation, no", Pepper smirked. "It's eleven, time for you and Clint to come to bed, by the way he's sleeping with us". Pepper informed Tony. "I'll get a blow up bed but for now is it okay if you sleep in between us?" I yawned and nodded, I stretched and stood up. "I need pjs", I told Pepper. "I already collected them, Clint", I smiled and thanked her.

"Tony now, you can finish it in the morning", Pepper sounded like she was talking to a kid. Tony sighed and dropped what he was working with. I yawned again and took a hold of both of their hands as we walked to the lift. I smiled, and pretended we were a family.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Warning** **: descriptions of physical abuse**

I could hear level breathing before I opened my eyes. They both had one arm each around me. I felt so relaxed. I was still half waiting to wake up , with Barney, in a foster home. I hated all of them, no one wants a 7 year old.

I played with Peppers bracelet, it looked expensive. "You like it?" Pepper asked before yawning. I nodded and whispered, "yes, it's pretty". Pepper smiled as she moved her hair out of her face. "I'm sorry if I woke you", I added in. "Just playing with my bracelet wouldn't wake me, so don't worry", Pepper smiled as she glanced over at Tony. Tony was fast asleep, he pulled me closer to him. Pepper giggled, "he probably thinks you're me". "Let me go", I gripped onto Pepper. "Tony you're holding the wrong person", Pepper shook him slightly. He let me go, I climbed over Pepper and laid on the outside of the bed. Tony held onto Pepper and hummed quietly. He was content. "I'm sorry, last night brought back some fears I guess", I explained to her. Pepper nodded, "it's okay Clint, even Tony has triggers and flashbacks. It's nothing to be ashamed of".

My stomach made whale noises, causing me laugh. "You can go to the common floor if you want, get breakfast". I thanked her as I got out of the bed. I looked around the room, "did you collect clean clothes for today?" Pepper shook her head, "no, sorry, you can just wear you're pyjamas". I shook my head. "No, I can't. I have to be dressed while having breakfast", I told her as I searched for my clothes from yesterday. "You can't get back into dirty clothes Clint", Pepper said in a stern tone. "Fine", I said as I stayed in my pyjamas and went to the common floor. When the lift opened, I walked out, there was two new people there. Both women, one looked about 3 or 4 years older than the other. I quietly made my way to the kitchen. Neither noticed me. They were talking about science. I found Thor's poptarts and put two in the toaster. The younger one jumped when the tarts popped. "Who are you?" The older one asked. They both made they're way over to the kitchen area. I stared at them before shrugging. "Can one of yous get my poptarts out please?" I asked them. Bobbi told me a few months ago to never tell anyone who I was unless someone else introduces me. That some people might want to hurt me. The younger one got my poptarts out, put them on a plate then handed them to me. "Thank you", I placed them on the island before climbing up and digging in.

"What's your name? I'm Darcy and this is Jane", the younger one informed me. "I'm not allowed to say, Natasha decides who I talk to. Although she's away right now, so it's either Coulson or Peppers decision", I informed them. I hopped down from the stool and put my plate in the sink. "Are you Clint and Natasha's kid? I totally knew they were doing it", Darcy asked me. I frowned, did no one know that we were married. "Don't mention that traitors name Darcy", Jane said in harsh tone. My smile dropped. "He is your dad", Darcy said after seeing my reaction to Jane's words. My lip trembled, "I'm sorry". "Jesus Jane you made him cry", Darcy said as she hugged me. I'm not a traitor. "I want Tasha", I mumbled into her shoulder. "Don't you mean your mom honey?" Darcy asked me. I pushed away, my tears stooped. I wiped them with my sleeve. "My mom is dead", I said in a grim tone. They both looked shocked. I sighed.

Coulson walked in, I stepped back. "Good morning Jane, Darcy, kiddo", he greeted us before getting a cup of coffee. "You're not telling us his name either?" Jane questioned Coulson. Coulson smiled at me, "good job kiddo, and no, it's classified". They both sighed before sitting back down on the couches. "Mr. Coulson, I'm going to my floor okay? I want to get dressed", I said as I headed to the lift. I immediately relaxed once I was alone. The door binged, I headed straight for my room. The air smelled stale. I got a sickening feeling in my stomach. Maybe I didn't like being alone after all. I missed Tasha. I felt shivers run down me as I changed clothes, grinning at my jumper having Hawks on it. As I searched for a book to read, I noticed that I had read them all but that wasn't anything new. I decided on Sherlock Holmes, Tony recommended it.

As I walked towards the lift, a man that I didn't recognise came out. He had a gun pointed at me. He slowly made his way over to me so that I was quickly being held at gun point. The man had neatly cut dirty blonde hair, he was wearing a hiking jacket and looked like he had been in a fight recently. "I know who you are Clint, I'd recognise your scrawny little face anywhere", the man slowly walked towards me. How did he know my name? I could smell gun powder and sweat off of him. I wanted to scream but nothing came out. I took in a shaky breath before he continued, "don't you recognise me Clint?" I shook my head and crawled backwards trying to get away from the creep. "Oh, you are so going to wish you were dead after this", the man said with a chuckle before whacking me across the head with his hand gun. I could taste blood in my mouth. My vision went blurry, I faintly heard him say brother.

My shoulders hurt, they were twisted. I felt like I was carrying my entire body weight. I suddenly became aware of the rope around my wrist. I could feel it tearing into my skin. I kept my breathing steady, not giving up the fact that I'm awake.

I felt the air leave my stomach as a guys fist collided with it. I guessed that it was the same guy. My eyes flickered opened, it was him. I flinched as another one came along. The man laughed, "didn't dad teach you to be better than this". Barney. He wouldn't. "Please stop, Barney", I begged him. He laughed before backing away. I took in deep breaths, he wasn't finished, not if he was anything like dad. Barney turned around, my stomach dropped when I saw the blade in his hand. Oh fuck.

"I want to show you something Clint", Barney said before he took his tshirt off. I was confused. He pointed at a scar just to the right in the centre of his chest, "this is from when you shoot an arrow at me", there was an equally sized scar on his back. He continued, "I swore I'd get you back and now is my chance". Barney had a sadistic grin on his face. I gulped. I want Tasha, I have to be brave like Tasha. I scanned the room, my eyes landing on exactly what I was hoping for. My runners, Tony had placed trackers in them. I could feel the moisture drip on my scalp before I felt the pain. "Barney stop, please god damnit Barney, it hurts. What do you want from me? I only remember us in the orphanage. You protected me. When did that change? What happened to brothers stick together?" I yelled at him. I took in deep breaths. My scalp was covered in blood, from my arm. Barney had cut my wrist. I sighed knowing that it's not going stop on its own. I really hoped Tony remembered the tracker. Barney poured powder into my open wound, it stopped the bleeding immediately. I frowned, this was the opposite of killing me. I licked my lips, longing for a drink but I wouldn't dare ask for anything. Barney smirked, "see you tomorrow, little hawk". I shuddered, wasn't it still morning. I shook the ropes holding me up. I couldn't even touch the ground.

"We don't want our little hawk crying out now do we?" Barney threatened as he came back with duct tape. I shook my head. Barney placed it over my mouth, he didn't trust me at all. I waited for Barney to be long gone before attempting to scream. It was useless though, the tape muffled them into silence.

I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else. My breathing steady out, it was the only thing I could hear in this deafening silence.

"Oh god", I heard a voice say. I opened my eyes to see Coulson and another woman beside him. I had seen her before, she part of his team. "We need medics ready, he's hurt", she instructed someone over the radio. I sighed with relief, knowing that it was all over. "Let's get you down, alright", Coulson said in a soothing tone as he hugged me and cut the ropes. Pain surged through my shoulders. Men don't cry.

"It's okay you're safe now", Coulson said as he carried out of the warehouse where I was being held captive. I gripped on as tightly as I could. Coulson and the other woman led us to a jet where the rest of his team were waiting. I clung to Coulson for the entire journey.

Coulson brought me back to the avengers tower. I immediately laid eyes on Natasha, she was pacing up and down. "Tasha!" I called to her. I wriggled out of Coulson's arms and ran for Natasha. She caught me, I immediately couldn't hold back my tears, I couldn't be strong anymore.

I opened my eyes to see Barney staring right at me, "what's wrong little hawk? Bad dream". It felt so real. I screamed but it was muffled by the tape. Barney lit a cigarette and puffed smoke into my face causing me to cough. Barney smirked as he placed the bud on my arm waiting for it to burn. I took in steady breaths, this was only going to get worse. Barney threw the bud to the side before picking up a baseball bat, I gulped. Barney swong at me with full force. I didn't let out a sound. He hit my shins, my ribs, my arms, my back and one final blow to my head. The pain was too much, I was pretty sure he broke a rib. I closed my eyes and hoped that someone, anyone found me.

When I woke up, the pain had slightly numbed, Barney was gone. I moved my fingers around trying up undo the knot but it was useless. I wouldn't be able to get out of it until I wasn't supporting my body weight. I spotted a little window, it was put high. It was bright out, day time. How many days have past. My stomach growled, I'd forgotten the pain of not eating for days. All I wanted was a glass of water right now though.

I flinched when I heard banging, not yet. Please I can't handle more pain. My breathing sped up as I waiting for Barney to show up with whatever he was going hurt me with today. "Oh look at my little hawk in distress, relax brother you need to save your energy", Barney called from behind me. That worried me, the fact that I couldn't see him. I screamed when I felt a whip collide with my back. "Count for me", he instructed me. "One", my voice was dry and harsh. Barney laughed as he whipped me until he got to 16, the age I was when I tried to kill him. I don't blame myself for trying. I flinched as I heard more banging and glass shattering. Please tell me he's not going to hit me with a bottle. I heard someone walk up behind me, the glass under their feet gave them away. My body physically started to shake. No more.

"It's okay Clint, you're safe now, we got you", Natasha reassured me as she walked around so that I could see her. Is this real? Please tell me I'm not dreaming. I want to go home. Natasha looked angry. She pulled the tape off my mouth. I whined, that fucking hurt. "Are you angry?", I whispered, speaking hurt. "I'm angry at Barney, I'm so glad that you're safe now", Natasha told me as she cut the rope and helped me down. I fell onto Natasha, my entire body felt weak. Natasha caught me and picked me up. "I'm thirsty Tasha", I whispered as I closed my eyes. "Clint open your eyes, I need you to stay awake. Keep talking to me. Please stay awake Clint", Natasha instructed me as soon as I closed them. I opened my eyes. I couldn't talk, it hurt. I need a drink. "I'm awake, but I'm not talking it hurts", I told her as I squinted when we reached the outdoors. Natasha looked very worried as she she laid me down on a stretcher and backed away letting the doctors treat my wounds. They immediately hooked up an iv. "That hurts I don't like it". I complained, I never like needles. "I want Tasha", I cried for her. Natasha stood at my feet. "I'm right here Clint, and please be brave and leave the iv in. I kept my focus on Tasha as the medics hooked me up to wires and cleaned, bandaged and dressed my back.

"I want to go home", I told interrupted the doctors and Natasha talking about the best place for me to stay. "He's going home, we have a doctor on site and can get all the medical supplies we need", Natasha told them and her decision was final. I smiled at her. "Thank you", my voice still felt dry but not as much. Natasha ran her hand through my hair, I relaxed against her touch. "I'm sorry I wasn't there", Natasha looked guilty, it wasn't her fault though. "He would've kept trying until he got me alone anyways so it doesn't matter, you saved me that's what matters", I told her closing my eyes and falling asleep. I knew it wasn't going to be peaceful though, Barney knew what he was doing, knew what old wounds he was opening up.

 **Thanks for reading xx**


	19. Chapter 19

"Jesus Clint you really can't take much of a beating anymore can you?", I heard Barney say as I felt something hit me in the stomach. I thought he was dead. I opened my eyes, it's dark in here. This isn't Natasha's room. My breathing sped up as I realised I was still with Barney. "What's wrong little hawk?" He said in an adoring tone. I blinked trying to hold back the tears, my back stings and my shoulders feel like they're going to pop. "Did you think they recused you? They're never going to find you!" Barney continued his voice getting even more threatening. I gulped trying my best to hold back tears. "It felt so real", I whispered as Barney turned away from me, he laughed. I watched as he set up a hose, oh fuck no. "You're backs a little dirty", that was his explanation. I held my breath for as long as I could. The power of the hose, spun me around. It tore at my back.

I coughed up water when he was finished. "Why are you doing this? Where are we? Barney please stop...please. I'll do anything", the smirk that appeared on his face sickened me. "Anything? Even steal, rob a bank...kill someone", he tested me. I nodded, "I've done it before so I can do it again". Barney smirked and picked up a bunch of keys. He undid the chain holding me up, causing me to collapse onto the floor. "Get up", he demanded. I stood up slowly and held onto a wall for support. "Who do you want me to kill?", I asked cutting to the chase. Barney sat down on a work bench.

"While you were out, I took it my please to implement a chip into you, if you don't kill who I tell you to in 48 hours then you'll go boom", Barney used his hands to emphasis the boom. I gulped while feeling my neck and face to find the chip. "Who", I repeated. I was sick of him not telling me. "You'll find out once you get home, here", barney said as he handed me a phone. "I'll give you ten minutes to get out of here before I change my mind", he threatened. I glanced around looking for an exit. I ran towards it and squinted at the light but kept running. I started to panic, what if this is a trap. I don't want to kill someone. I saw a car in the distance coming this way and ran in front of it. "Please stop", I begged. The driver slammed on its breaks. "Stay right there", they instructed me as they called someone, hopefully the police. I never thought I say that. "I think he's was kidnapped, he's beaten up pretty bad", the man explained to the police. I sat down on the road, in front of the car. I started shivering. I hope this is real. The man came over to me and wrapped his jacket around me. "But I'll get it dirty?" I whispered hoping I could keep it anyways. "Um, that's okay I have plenty of jackets", he got slightly confused by my statement. "Is this real?" I asked, probably sounding crazy. He frowned and nodded.

A police car and an ambulance arrived minutes later. I flinch slightly at the loud noise. The man was brought over to his car with a police officer who asked him a series of questions. A paramedic leant down beside me, "what's your name son?" He asked me. "Clint", I watched as more police cars arrived. "I'm scared, I want to go home". They loaded me into the ambulance and packed up my stuff. They hooked me up to an iv and treated my wounds temporarily until we got to hospital. The paramedic frowned slightly, "where did you get this phone?" I reached for it but he pulled back and frowned. "What happened to you and how did you end up here?" I sighed. "I was kidnapped and I escaped, that's his phone" I lied, he let me go.

When the doctors were finished treating my wounds, a female police officer came into my room. I smiled. "That's a lovely smile you got Clint". Another woman followed her in. "Are you up to answering some questions". I nodded.

"Do you know you're mom or dads name?" Edith and Harold and they're both dead 30 years. That wouldn't go well. "Lance and Bobbi Hunter, but I don't live with them. I live with Natasha and Bruce and Tony and Pepper and Steve", I felt tears build up in my eyes. The other woman wrote what I said down. "What age are you?" I held up eight fingers, "8". "Where do you live?" She asked me. "Stark tower, New York". Both women smiled, and giggled. They didn't believe me. "You live with the avengers?" I nodded, feeling the tears flow down.

"What time is it? Where's the phone? I need it. Where is it?" They both frowned as the police woman opened my drawer and handed it to me. I switched it on, a clock said 43 hours on it. That's 5 hours wasted. The phone dinged as a message came through. I read it, 'Tony Stark'. I threw the phone across the room. "No...no...I can't do it", I screamed as I started to panic. Anyone but Tony, or any of the avengers. "Why does this say Tony Stark? What was is happening here?" The police woman questioned me as the nurses came in. The nurses shooed everyone out. "Clint it's okay, you're safe now", a nurse whispered as she hugged me. I cried onto her shoulder. "I wanna go home, I'm fine...its just a scratch", I sobbed as she rubbed her hands through my hair. I want Tasha. The nurse laughed, "it'll require weeks of healing, definitely not just a scratch".

I felt myself relax as the nurse continued to rub my hair. I looked up as the door opened and closed quickly another nurse appeared. "Is he stable?" "Yeah he is". The nurse let me go and stood up. "Clint the social worker is here to talk with you", she informed as the social worker took her place. "Why are you here? I have a family. I don't wanna go back to the orphanage", I complained causing the social worker to check her files. "There's nothing about you living in an orphanage. "Nothing's ever on file", I mumbled as the woman made a series of phone calls asking if they could take in a boy last minute.

After various phone calls the woman smiled and turned to me, "okay, we got you a place in a group home. Pack your stuff you'll be leaving tomorrow morning". My smile dropped as I remembered the last group home I was in. They didn't have enough food to feed us all so I only ate once a day and the boys would sometime steal that from me, as well as any belongings. I felt tears build up in my eyes. "I don't want to go, please...please", I begged as she left, most likely to organise a lift. I cried as a packed my bloody clothes into a plastic bag, all my stuff is at home. I hate that word, home. I never had one and the moment I get one and start to feel comfortable in one, it's torn away. I unhooked myself from the machines and took the iv out, leaving the needle in. I slipped out of the bed, landing with a tump on the ground. My legs shook as I stood up. I left my room and found the nurses station. "Can we help you?" One of the nurses asked me. I ignored her, my attention was focused on a nurse with red hair. "It's just like Tasha's", I whispered as I ran my fingers through it. "I miss her, I'm scared and I want cuddles", I gave her the best puppy dog eyes I could. She smiled and picked me up, placing me on her lap. I grinned and leant into her, she wrapped her arms around me. I relaxed in her arms as I closed my eyes and pretended it was Tasha. "Please don't make me go, they're not nice", I didn't mean to cry. I felt my eyes get heavy.

Nurse Natasha stayed with me for the night. She woke me up, "it's time to go Clint". I sighed and got dressed, I waited in the reception for the driver to collect me. Nerves build up in my stomach. This reminded me of . The driver smiled as he pulled up. That was only ever a facade. I started to shake as I got in the car. Where's Tasha? I want to go home. "Clint it's okay, you'll only be there a little while, then a loving family might adopt you", the driver attempted to console me as we drove off. I sighed.

I studied the house as we pulled up. The driver opened the door for me. I stepped out and dragged my feet to the front door. I looked into the front window to see boys around 13-16 playing video games and girls around 8-12 playing dress up and doing makeup. "I want my nest", I told them, earning a strange look. I pulled at the arm that was holding onto me. I want my nest. I want my nest. I want my nest. I yanked my arm free and ran upstairs, locking myself in the bathroom. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. "Yes everything is going to be okay, I'll sort things out. He'll be as polite and friendly as ever when you see him next", I heard the woman of the house say before the social worker left. I gulped, that sounded painful.

I heard footsteps coming closer, she unlocked the door from the outside. "Clint, we need to establish some ground rules here. You do what I say, when I say and you don't talk back ever, okay?" She warned me as she slapped my back. I winced as she tore a stitch, "that's for having a fit earlier." She grabbed my stuff and threw them into one of the rooms, declaring that's where I will sleep.

I curled up with a blanket on the floor underneath the bed. My back feels damp. Everywhere hurts. I started to shake when I heard someone else coming in. "Hey, are you the new kid? My name is Jake", he said as he crawled under the bed with me. He looked around 16. I flinched when he reached for my back. "I'm not going to hurt you, you're bleeding. Mrs Tye can be an ass sometimes". He stood up and got me a new shirt. "Thank you", I whispered as I attempted to change only to get a spike of pain in my shoulders. Jake cut my blood soaked t shirt and dried me then found a flannel for me to wear. "You must have had it mad, you're covered in scars", Jake commented. I just nodded. I properly looked around the room for the first time. He had a laptop, desk and a set of books. "Can you tell me your name, please?" Jake asked me. I looked up from my hands, "Clint". "You should really get some sleep Clint, on the bed this time. Mrs Tye won't like it if she thinks you're missing" Jake told me, he reminded me of Barney when he was younger, kinder. When he wouldn't threaten to kill me. "Where are we, like what state?" I asked him hoping we were still in New York. I climbed in under the covers. The mattress was old, hard and the bed shook with every movement. "We're in Queens, New York. Where are you from?" Jake replied as he switched the light off. I don't like the darkness, but I don't want to admit to the weakness. "Can you see the Avengers tower from here?" I asked sounding excited. Jake laughed slightly, "that's on the other side of New York". Damn it.

I turned away from Jake and closed my eyes, I felt tears build up, men don't cry. I just want Tasha. I imagined Natasha's arms holding me. I don't want to be here.

I jumped in my bed when Mrs Tye banged on the door, "wake up, wake up, it's morning, breakfast isn't going to make itself". I blinked my eyes as I stared at the clock. "Yes it really is half 5 in the morning", Jake informed me as he put on a school uniform. School, I hadn't been to school in over two years. "I don't have clean clothes, they're all covered in blood", I told him. He instructed me to wear my jeans and gave me one of his tops which was swimming on me. I got dressed. "You have an older brother don't you?" Jake asked. I tensed up and nodded. I followed Jake downstairs, did chores then had breakfast at 7. "Mrs Tye will I be going to school today as well?" I asked her, making sure to keep a safe escape distance. She smiled, "you'll be starting school in a weeks time. How much schooling have you gotten so far?" I thought for a second before answering, "I was home schooled". She frowned as if she disapproved. "How could you get a proper education at home, how many languages do you speak? Where are you at maths? Have you done multiplication yet?" She ranted on. No one likes a smart ass.

I kept my eyes trained on the ground. Jake brought me outside to sweep the leaves off the garden. "I'll teach you what you missed out on", he told me once we were alone. "I don't think I missed out on much", I admitted thinking back to the Bruce and Tony giving me a Mensa card. "What am I going to do at home, until I go to school?" That worried me the most, no one would be there to protect me. Hopefully Natasha will find me. If they're even looking. I jumped when Mrs Tye answered me, "we're hiring a tutor to get you up to speed and the social worker is coming by to get your full story". I spun around, "yes ma'am". She led me inside as the rest of the kids went to school. I watched as the bus pulled up and drove off again.

"Now so we have an idea of what the tutor needs to go over, have you studied any other languages?" Mrs Tye asked me as she sat opposite me. I nodded, 11 of them. "Yes, I have. I find languages very interesting", I replied. It's not lying, it's avoiding the truth. "Okay that's good, how about we try some maths", she praised me. I glanced at the clock, 15 hours left until I'm supposed to kill Tony Stark. Maybe staying away is better. "Jesus you have a terrible attention span", Mrs Tye complained. The lower they think of you, the less they expect.

"What is 3x5", she asked me. "15", I replied without hesitation. "4x12", she asked. "48". I sighed and looked around the room searching for something vaguely interesting. "Alright smarty pants, what's 23x489", she got up and looked out the window for the tutor. "11,247", I covered my mouth immediately. "I'm sorry, no one likes a smarty pants. Please don't hurt me, please. I'll be quiet", I panicked as I backed myself into a wall. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I brought my knees to chest. "You're right, no one does". Mrs Tye left the room, where is she going? She's going to get a broom or a belt. I glanced at the front door and ran for it. I can't stay here.

I panted for air when I reached the other side of town. I walked towards the skyscrapers, hopefully that's where the avengers tower is. I hopped on the subway and got off at Manhattan. My stomach growled as I walked for what felt like forever. When I reached the tower, a guard stopped me. "No kids allowed", he instructed me as he blocked the entrance. "No I need to get in", I demanded but he just laughed. "I'll wait then", I sat down beside the entrance.

"Clint?" I heard someone say, I didn't realise I fell asleep. "Carry my stuff in, and don't mention the fact that a kid was here to anyone", the voice said as he picked me up and carried me inside. "Please...don't hurt me", I whispered as I fell asleep again. The man laid me down on something soft, probably a couch. "We need to ventilate". I could hear everything but I couldn't move. "Somethings wrong, he's not waking up", I heard a woman's voice this time, Natasha it was Natasha. "Clint open your eyes...look at the scars on his back...they're healed slightly probably happened about a week ago...and his wrists, he was hung for some time...I feel sick" the last voice I recognised as Peppers. I tried my best to open my eyes but nothing happened, Bruce opened one for me and shined a light in. "His eyes aren't reacting, and they're dilated", Bruce voiced his conclusion. "Maybe a drug of some sort, look for needle marks. Jarvis what could cause dilated pupils that don't react to light" Tony asked Jarvis. I tried moving but I can't, I can't even see. I don't like this I want to be able to move again. Help me.

"Sux" I heard Bruce say after moments of silence. "That's it! It should wear off, it better wear off", he continued. "What happens if it doesn't", Natasha asked Bruce. "Cardiac arrest". I could suddenly feel someone pushing air into me. I coughed. I opened my eyes to a lot of medical devices around me including a defibrillator. "Oh thank god you woke up, I will kill the son of a bitch who did this to you", Natasha vowed as she pulled me up into a hug. I smiled and hugged her back, shifting around so that I could lean against her. "Who did this to you?" Bruce asked as his watch started flashing orange. I tensed up thinking about it. "He put a chip in me that would explode after 48 hours unless I uh..killed someone". Natasha's hold on me got tighter. "Who?" Steve asked me. I glanced at Tony, he got the message. "Is the chip gone? I don't want to explode but I knew that it wouldn't stop with you", I asked Tony as Pepper stood slightly closer to him. "Who did this to you?" Steve repeated his question. I shook my head, brothers stick together.

"Clint someone tried to you kill you and me don't you think we deserve to know who", Tony tried reasoning with me. "I'm sorry, I'm scared...Barney, it was Barney..please don't kill him" I added in at the end in a hurry. I wiped the tears that build up in my eyes. "Barney as in your brother?" Natasha was the only one who looked calm. Bruce left the room. I leant into her. "I'm scared and yes, he's my brother", I struggled to get out of Natasha's and ran to my nest. Barney came up with the idea of nests. I stopped right before it and stared at it. "Clint what's wrong?" Natasha asked as she came over to me. "I hate it", I told her as I tore the nest down. I fell to my knees when it was finished, when it was just a pile of sheets and blankets on the floor. "I hate it, I hate him, I hate Hawks, I hate birds, I hate nests". I sobbed into my knees. Natasha gently rubbed my back. "But you're our little hawk", she whispered. I looked up at her remembering Barney calling me that as he whipped me. I shook my head. "Don't call me that!" I snapped at her before running to the roof.

I shivered as I sat on the edge, life would be so much easier if I jumped, if I was dead. But I'm home now, it's going to be okay. "Clint", Natasha whispered as she sat beside me. I glanced at her as I sat closer and leant against her. I cried onto her shoulder. Her eyes were red, she was crying. My stomach growled, I hadn't eaten since breakfast. Natasha led me to our floor.

"This is where he..." I mumbled as I clung to Natasha. "Can I sleep with you?" I'm fucking terrified. "Food first Clint, and yes you can sleep with me", Natasha smiled as she made served me granola and milk. I took a huge bite of the granola bar and a sip of the milk, "God I missed this stuff". Natasha's smile grew, "at least one thing hasn't changed". I grinned and ate it all. Natasha carried me over to the couch and sat me down on her lap. I could feel myself shaking. "Clint I want you to understand that I will do everything possible to find Barney and make sure that he never hurts you again, and trust me I'll find him", Natasha vowed to find him and keep me safe. I nodded, I'm safe. I'm home. "Is this real, I kept dreaming that I was saved and then I would wake up and Barney would hurt me more, please let this be real. I can't tell the difference anymore", I asked her. Natasha looked concerned for me. "This is real Clint...th..this is real", Natasha's voice broke. I hugged her as tightly as I could. I yawned and closed my eyes feeling safe on her lap. "Clint come on wake up, we get you changed into bed. I'll stay with you the whole time", Natasha said as she woke me up. I moaned but got up and went to her room. Natasha got me pyjamas to change into.

I smiled as I cuddled into her, "I missed you". "I missed you too, we were all worried sick and looking everywhere for you", Natasha rubbed her hand through my hair and over my back. "Did he whip you?" I nodded as I cuddled closer to her. I don't want to think about it. "Can you tell me a story?" I asked as I closed my eyes. "Okay I'll tell you the story of the hawk and the spider", Natasha agreed, I still hated Hawks. "Not a hawk", I whispered. "But that's the story, it's of they met, just listen okay?" I nodded. "Long ago there was a hawk and a spider, the hawk was sent to kill the spider because the spider was a black widow, she had killed too many other people and others had failed before him. But the hawk was different, he had better vision than everyone else, he knew exactly how not to be found and used that against the spider. Eventually after months of trying to find her, he did but he realised something she wasn't just a spider, she was a baby spider. He had one rule that he always stuck too, he didn't kill kids. So the hawk offered for the spider to join his side, to fight for the good guys and she did and that's how we met. Fury was not impressed", Natasha added on to the end of her story. I grinned, "you're my little spider". "Only if you're my hawk?" Natasha asked as she smiled at me. I nodded , "but only yours, no one else's". I yawned as I fell asleep.

I woke up before Natasha, I stayed as still as possible. It doesn't take much to wake her. I glanced at the clock behind Natasha, it's 5:30am. I thought back to waking up at this time yesterday, I had chores to do. Then Jake and the rest of the kids went to school. I sort of wish I got to go to school. I never really got to make friends my own age. I slipped out of the bed without waking Natasha, and headed for the kitchen. Following Jarvis's instructions I made pancakes. I found Nutella and spread it on top of the pancakes. I licked my lips as I ran in to wake Natasha up. I jumped on top of her. "Tasha, Tasha wake up". Natasha flipped me over onto the other side of the bed and held a knife to my throat. I laughed. "It's just me Tasha". She frowned as she put the knife on the locker. "I hold a knife to your throat and you laugh?" She questioned me. I grinned as I attempted to pull her out of bed. "You're not gonna hurt me, come on I made breakfast", I said as I dragged her into the kitchen. "I would've made coffee for you too but it's hot", I explained as Natasha smiled at the pancakes with Nutella on top. "You made breakfast...and a mess", Natasha added on. It wasn't that much of a mess.

I grinned when Natasha liked the pancakes. My mind wandered back to the group home, I never got to go to school. Maybe someone here could teach me. Maybe I could actually go to a real school, make friends. I never had the opportunity to go to school, I read books at home and barney would teach me what he knew. He picked up on it pretty quickly that I learnt quicker than everyone else.

"You're very quiet this morning, what you thinking about?" Natasha interrupted my thoughts. I hadn't noticed her cleaning up, the whole kitchen was tidy. "Umm...school", I stuttered slightly. "But you don't go to school and you're probably wondering why. It's because there's not much a school can teach you. You could ask Tony and Bruce to teach you maths and physics", Natasha tried reasoning with me. "Yeah, you're right", I sighed as I went to my room and got dressed. I don't want to go to school to learn, I want friends. Like Jasper, we were friends.

"Can we go find Tony or Bruce?", I asked once Natasha was ready. "I have a different idea", Natasha said as she directed me towards the lift. "You're going to learn archery, I've set you up with a teacher. You're starting today", Natasha sighed before continuing, "Clint we didn't put you through the Tahiti project for so that you could have a normal life, we're training you to be a sniper, a spy and an assassin. Expect we are keeping you're going to be loyal to us and not anyone else". I nodded as the lift opened on the gym floor. A man stood on the opposite side of the room, he was organising guns. I wanted to stay in the lift but Natasha nudged me out, I stayed behind her as we walked up to the man, my new teacher. He doesn't look friendly. "Hi Clint, are you ready to learn archery and how to be a sniper?" He asked me. I glanced up at Natasha as I shook my head. "Ahh now Clint that's no need for such a negative attitude. Do 20 laps of the gym!" My teacher, who I didn't even get the name of, instructed me. Natasha nodded, telling me to start running. I did. Natasha left, she left me alone with him. I felt out of breath after 15 laps, it was a big gym. It consisted on a sparring section covered in mats, a weights and exercise equipment section, a track section, a range for shooting which I assume I will be spending a lot of time in. I kept running.

I breathed heavily as I finished the 20 laps, I still don't want to be a sniper or an assassin. But I'll keep that to myself. "Come over here and I'll show how to run properly", my teacher instructed. I don't want to run anymore. He showed me how to breathe while running and how to set a steady pace for myself so that I can run for longer. It made running easier.

Steve came down to the gym and starting running around the track area, I think. He was running so fast that I could barely see him. That can't be normal. Steve left shortly before my teacher told me I could go get lunch. I have 30 minutes. I headed up to the common floor, I could probably make myself a sandwich and I really need a drink. As the lift opened I heard yelling. It was Steve yelling at Natasha. "He's just a kid, they can't start him that young!" Steve yelled at her, they were talking about me. I wish Steve was in charge. "I started that young, I might not have liked it so but I did", Natasha replied to him, she wasn't yelling. I got peanut butter and jelly out and made my sandwich while humming peanut butter jelly time. "This is Shield, the avengers, not the red room", Steve yelled again. I don't like yelling. What's the red room? "What's the difference? He's a traitor and they want results. The UN wants results. Otherwise they want to ...determinate project Tahiti", Natasha's voice lowered at the end as she spotted me. Steve turned around to face me. I took a bite out of my sandwich as I waved at him. "Clint do you want to be an assassin?" Steve asked me. No. I stared at Steve for a few seconds before glancing at Natasha and then back to Steve. "Yes, after all I am the worlds best marksman right?" I replied confidently, selling it even to even Natasha. I lied. I don't want to do another 20 laps.

She looked slightly worried, so did Steve. I smiled at them. I looked at the clock, 15 minutes left.

I ate my sandwich and then left to continue training. My teacher got me to memorise how to put a gun together and take it apart again. That was easy, hitting the target isn't.

The next few days were the same, I ran in the morning, got lunch and then worked on guns in the afternoon. Natasha was very quiet, she had dinner ready for me when I finished then she would head to the gym. She disappeared, along with Tony, Steve, Wanda and Scott, for a few days then suddenly reappeared as if nothing happened.

One afternoon, Natasha came down to the gym while I was doing target practice. I hit the target, then I prepared to hit it again as my teacher whispered in my ear, "if you don't hit the target, I'm going to hit you and don't go running to Natasha when I do". I glanced at Natasha. I didn't run to her before. I missed, he hit me in the stomach. "I'm sorry, no no please", I begged as he hit me again. Natasha didn't notice. I wish she did, she'd stop him. She once said that no one ever hurt me like that ever again, she lied. I breathed through the pain, that hurt more than the rest. I lifted the gun up to the target, I aimed and hit it dead centre, bullseye. Natasha noticed that and smiled. I watched as Natasha headed for the showers, I jumped as his fist hit me again, in the same spot as earlier. "Keep you're eye on the target, not Natasha", he instructed me. I shot the target again, hitting bullseye.

"You're done for the day", he told me after a few more shots and after I cleaned the gun. I headed to the showers, it hurt to take my shirt off but the shower was worth it. The hot water burnt my skin, I felt my muscles relaxing. I looked down at the bruises on my stomach from the last few days, they've suddenly gotten bigger today. It hurt to move my right side, especially lifting my arm. My thoughts filled up with memories of my dad kicking me in the stomach, and my mom telling the doctor I fell. I'm so clumsy.

I need an excuse, a valid one. Natasha's not going to believe that I fell. I came up with a plan as I got dressed, making sure to cover the bruises. A long sleeve t shirt and shorts. Natasha's stuff sat in a pile where she left them. I climbed up the rafters and managed to climb onto the outside. I yawned. I've been doing this training for 12 hours a day everyday for the last 2 weeks. I safely got down, feeling too tired to climb. I went to the lift, holding tightly onto my side. It still hurt. I need ice, but no one can know that it's bruised. They'll start asking questions.

"Clint you need to choose a floor", Jarvis reminded me. I pressed the button for the common floor. I sighed as I leant against the wall of the lift. I plan to fall asleep on the couch. The common floor is more protected, more avengers walking in and out. I made my way over to the couches, kicked my shoes off and lay down. I squinted slightly at the pain, but made no noise. My eyes drifted shut immediately.

I screamed as my squeezed my eyes shut. "Please stop, it hurts...it hurts", I cried as I pushed whoever was trying to tickle me away. "Tony what did you do? Natasha is going to kill you", Pepper yelled at him as I heard her coming towards me, heard the clicking of her heels."I didn't do anything, I tickled him", Tony was quick to his defence. She gently rested her hand on me. "Clint, it's okay you're safe. You're in the avengers tower. No one is going to hurt you", she's lying, does it count as lying if the person doesn't know what's going on. "I'm sorry", I said out of habit. It's always my fault, if I get hurt. "I got a fright", I mumbled. Vision turned away from his book and stared at me. I looked away. "I believe you're lying Clint, you know the rules", Vision replied calling my bluff. I shrugged. It was lie. "I'm tired, I was having a bad dream. Tony gave me a fright can yous stop making a big deal out of it", I snapped at them. Pepper nodded but Vision didn't look convinced. He turned back to his book anyway. I sighed as I closed my eyes again.

"Clint wake up its morning, you've training in an hour", Natasha nudged me slightly. I held my breath as I sat up. It hurt even more today. "Did you get hurt in your training? You're very tense", Natasha commented. She has eyes in the back of her head. "I'm fine", I released the air in my lungs once I sat down. I missed dinner last night, too tired to eat. "Can I have a break for a day? I'm really tired" I asked as I yawned and lay my head down on the table. Natasha smiled slightly, one of those I'm sorry smiles. "No Clint". I don't want to do this. "What if I was hurt? Then could I stop?" She nodded. Only thing is that I can't tell her I'm hurt. My teacher would punish me. "Eat up, and don't think about hurting yourself just for a day off".

After eating Natasha brought me down to the gym. I gulped as I thought of our morning routine, running. I subconsciously held my side. This is going to hurt.

"Alright do 20 laps to warm up, then we're going to spar", my teacher instructed me. I ran slowly, it hurt less and distanced the time between me and sparring. After the laps he showed me the proper way to fight. "Okay get in the ring and we'll start", he pointed towards it. I shook my head. "I don't want to spar, I don't want to fight...I...I don't want to do any of this", I cried as my legs felt and my side throbbed. "Alright have then we're sparring", he threw his towel over the string of the boxing ring. I ran for the lift. "Jarvis where's Bruce?" I asked, watching as a floor lit up and the lift started moving. I always loved that. I stepped out into Bruce's floor. It's very clean, except for his desk and the giant fist shaped whole in the wall. That's weird.

"Clint I wasn't expecting you, everything okay?" He asked as he looked up from his book and took a sip of tea. I sat down beside him, looked away while doing so to not show the pain on my face. "You're apartment is lovely, nicely decorated", I covered up after myself. "Can I trust you Bruce?" I stared at his tea, watching the water settle back down. "Yes Clint, you can trust me with anything, I'll always try to help you with whatever is bothering you", Bruce sounded reassuring but I'm still scared. "Even if it's supposed to be a secret?" Bruce nodded. He put his book down, more concerned now. I have his full attention. My eyes followed the tea. It was shaking more now. I closed my eyes, I have to do this. It's only going to get worse. "Can you not tell Natasha or anyone else on the team? I don't want them to think I'm weak", I explained. Bruce sighed and explained that it depends on the situation. "Clint if you're planning on trying to hurt yourself or if someone is threatening you or the team then I will have to let the team know". I nodded. "It's nothing like that, it's a medical thing", I replied and smiled at him. "I'm not that kind of doctor, but go on", Bruce said with a slight laugh. I lifted my top up, revealing the bruises. Bruce sighed and got ice. It took most of the pain away immediately. "Clint, I'm only going to ask one question. Who gave these to you?" Bruce asked me. I shook my head, "no, no one". Bruce glared at me, he looked angry. Natasha once warned me to never make him angry. "My teacher", I mumbled as Bruce took a step back. I watched as he inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Has this happened before?" Bruce asked me. That's another question. I should probably stop talking. He looked angry. "Every time I miss the target", I quickly replied. Bruce pinched his nose and did laps around the room.

"Jarvis call Natasha and ask to come up here, tell her it's important and regarding Clint", Bruce asked Jarvis. "Bruce I said don't tell her! I trusted you!", I snapped at Bruce. "Clint abuse should never be a secret and you were right to come to me, but I have to tell Natasha so that she can stop it happening again", he explained to me. "What if she doesn't want it to stop? He did it right in front of her and she didn't notice. Natasha said that I'm a traitor and shield needs results. They're going to kill me if I don't do well. My teacher said that I used to be able to hit bullseye every time and if I don't, I'm just another snipper" I just want it all to end. "I don't even want to be a snipper or an assassin. I want to be a scientist like you or an engineer like Tony. I want people to know that I'm smart. I don't want to live a life filled with secrets and lies. I hate all of that. I want to be normal to a degree. I don't want to wake up from pain and nightmares every night". The lift opened just as I finished and Natasha stepped out. I looked down. "Clint, I'm giving you the opportunity to tell her or I will", Bruce told the ultimatum. I nodded and inhaled then exhaled. "My teacher hurt me", I told her. Natasha looked towards Bruce. "Do you want to elaborate on that? How did he hurt you?" She asked. I pulled my top up and moved the ice out of the way. "Every time I miss he hits me. I can't take it anymore, I'm sorry I failed you", I mumbled through tears. I flinched when Natasha sat beside me. "Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry I shouldn't have told anyone. It was a bad idea", I wiped my tears with my sleeve. "Clint I will never hurt you and thank you for telling someone. He never will hurt you ever again, I'll make sure of it. He pissed off the black widow. Clint the only person who is going to get hurt is that teacher for even daring to lay a finger on you and the UN for recommending that a child trains 12 hours a day, or at all for that matter. I just want you to be you" Natasha's angry but not at me. I'm scared. I want my nest.

"But you said that I'm a traitor.." I mumbled as Natasha stood up and was about to head to the gym, where my teacher is. Natasha turned around when she heard me. She knelt down in front of me, "Clint you are not a traitor, that was someone else's words. You're just you in my eyes, nothing to do with older Clint". I put my arms out for a hug, Natasha sat up beside me and hugged me. "I didn't want to disappoint you", I mumbled into her chest as I hid my face. Natasha stayed like this until I calmed down.

"I have to go have a 'chat' with your teacher now", Natasha said as she pulled herself away. I nodded. I curled up into a ball. Natasha sighed before leaving.

"Bruce, why is Steve, Scott and Wanda no longer here? And does it seem like everyone is tense?" I asked as I thought about how none of them had been around in the last few days. Bruce sighed as he sat beside me. "The UN, the United Nations wanted the avengers to sign a contract almost, that claimed that they couldn't react to a dangerous situation until told to do so. Some of the team agreed to sign, others didn't. They had a small fight over it and Steve, Wanda and Scott may not be coming back for a while", Bruce briefly explained the situation to me. What did he mean they weren't coming back? "Are they dead?" I asked him, he shook his head, "God no, I mean their not legally allowed in America until they sign". "Oh", and they won't sign. "Are they the same people who wants me to be an assassin?" Bruce nodded. I felt more relaxed after resting. "My side feels better can I go now?" Bruce laughed. "Clint you've a broken rib, it won't feel better after 15 minutes of ice. You need rest" Bruce sighed before continuing, "I'll go with you to the common floor and we'll find something to do", Bruce grabbed his phone before helping me to the lift. I don't need his help, I can do it.

"Have you ever played chess before?" He asked as we stepped out onto the common floor. "No, why what's chess?" I asked as I looked in the fridge for something to eat. "Yasss eggos", I exclaimed as I took them out and started eating them. Bruce looked shocked when I turned around. "You don't know what chess is?" I shrugged, "no I'm 8". I didn't think he'd be so passionate about it. I sat at the island and ate eggos as Bruce went to go find a chess board. I leant on the table, my eyes dropped closed. I decided to rest them.

I woke up on the couch, the smell of leather reminded me of when I went to stay with a posh family after the social worker got a call. It felt nice, comfy and relaxing. Quite the contrary to how my ribs felt. "Where's Bruce? We were going to play chess", I asked as I rubbed my eyes. A blanket had been thrown over me. "I'm right here Clint, I decided not to wake you needed rest", he replied as he looked up from his book.

I glanced around the room, there was a chess board and a few different shaped pieces, black and white, he left them on the table. "Do you want to be black or white?" He asked after briefly explaining how each piece moves and their names. "Black". Bruce let me go first. I moved my horse, then Bruce moved a pawn. I moved my pawn then he moved his castle and took one of my pieces. "How do we win?" I asked, Bruce picked up the King, "by getting the other persons King". I nodded. We moved a few more pieces before Bruce took my queen then my King. I huffed. "Let's play again".

Bruce smiled and set it up. "Can I ask you something? Natasha once told me to never make you angry. Why she scared of you getting angry?" Tony laughed from where he was making waffles and coffee, "Good luck explaining that one". Bruce blushed slightly. "Ever heard of gamma radiation?" I nodded, it's the highest form radiation takes. "He turns into a raging green monster", Tony interrupted, "you were taking too long". I laughed, that's not possible. They both looked serious. "It's not a joke Clint. I turn into the other guy, he is quite angry and likes to smash things. If you ever come across him, hide". I shook my head, they're messing with me. Bruce is one of the nicest people I've ever met. "Stop lying, I'm not gonna fall for it", I told them as I moved one of my pieces. Tony showed me footage of Bruce going from human sized to a huge green monster, he called it the hulk. I frowned, "are you an alien? How can your body do that?" Tony laughed, "Brucie here is definitely human, I checked". Bruce gave Tony a disapproving look. "No I'm not an alien, I was exposed to a high level of gamma radiation when trying replicate the serum that Steve was given to transform him into Captain America. "But you don't mean to hurt people?" I asked him and Bruce smiled. Bruce took his turn. "No I don't want to hurt people and I try to go as long as possible without letting the other guy out. You're one of the few people who cared about my opinion on it. Most people just assume I want to be this way". I smiled and moved another piece. Tony stared at the chess board and smirked, whispering in my ear, "move your Queen to the right 4 paces". I did as he said. "Check mate", Tony said as he high fives me. "I win", I grinned. "Uhh I won kid, try again", Tony smirked before siting beside me and eating his waffles. They looked really good. I sighed as Bruce set up the board again.

"Finally I won, ha" I said after the 23rd game. Bruce put his arms up in mock surrender. "Hey kid , wanna help us in the lab? I'll show you how to make a robot. I smiled and nodded. "When do you think Natasha will be done with my teacher?" I asked. Tony spat out his coffee. "What?" I frowned not understanding what was funny. Bruce glared at Tony. He got in the lift and headed up to the lab. I decided to ignore Tony. I messed around in the lab before my mind wandered back to Natasha. "We're going for coffee, be back in 30". I looked towards Tony's suits, Jarvis started pulling them out. I didn't think he'd actually do it.

I ran around trying to find Natasha. "Ahh, Clint slow down", Natasha said after I bumped into her. I panted trying to catch my breath. "I need your help", I grabbed her by the hand and dragged her to the lift. "With what exactly?" She asked, stopping before getting in the lift. "I did something really bad and I need your help to fix it", I spoke very quickly as I pushed her into the lift. "What did you do?", she sighed as she asked. I giggled, this was too funny but Tony's going to kill me. "I was messing around in Tony's lab, he showed me how to use his telegraphic computer. Tony was bragging about Jarvis and showing me his coding. He was being cocky as usual. Then he left to go get coffee, what if he's there before us. I started looking through the coding and I found a way to override Jarvis. I got carried away and well..." I paused as the lift opened to Tony's lab. Natasha stepped out and broke into a fit of laughter. There stood in front of her 15 of Tony's newest iron man suits, the ones he created after he lost the Malibu house, all spray painted pink with white polka dots. "How do I fix it?" I asked but Natasha laughed even more. "Don't it's perfect", Natasha said with a laugh. "He'll love it Clint, and he's too scared of me to do anything to you. How did you even 'accidentally' do this anyways?" Natasha grinned. I smiled, trusting Natasha that Tony wouldn't be too mad. He'll be mad but not too mad. "I didn't think Jarvis would actually do it", I admitted. The lift binged and stopped on this floor. I looked towards it. "Hide", Natasha said as she hid in a dark corner. I quickly scanned the room and climbed up into a high hiding spot. People don't think of looking up high. My heart raced as the lift doors opened and Bruce and Tony walked into the lab.

"Welcome back sir, your remodelling of the suits is all done", Jarvis announced to Tony. I covered my mouth, to stop myself from laughing. "What remodel... Jarvis what the fuck? Why are they all pink? What if I had to go save someone's life right now I couldn't wear a pink and white polka dot iron man suit. Who did this?" Tony asked Jarvis. He sounded mad. I heard keys and a bag being dropped before someone else was laughing, Bruce most likely. "You asked me to Sir, is there something wrong, Sir?" Jarvis replied in a calm tone. Reprogramming him wasn't easy, but totally worth it. "Where is Clintasha?" Tony asked him. It took a second before Jarvis replied, "either side of you sir". Tony physically jumped. "Don't call us Clintasha!" Natasha warned. I laughed and came out from my hiding spot. "I think it's a much better colour scheme", Bruce added in. "So which one of yous did it?" Tony asked. We both stayed silent and took the emotion off our faces. Tony groaned because he still thought of me as a master assassin and Natasha still is. "I'm going to get you back for this", Tony vowed, oh no.

"Jarvis paint the suits back to their original colour schemes", Tony requested. He turned his attention to the screens. "I'm afraid you can't afford any more paint sir", Jarvis said in a remorseful tone. We both laughed at Tony's shocked face, it was probably the first time he was ever told he couldn't afford something. "You messed with Jarvis!" Now he's mad. I stood behind Natasha as she glared and dared him to try anything.

"He messed with Jarvis! It's not possible to hack Jarvis", Tony said as he pointed at me. I grinned, "but not impossible though". Tony scoffed, "you only could do it because you on my computer". He had to be cocky as always. Bruce frowned, "I wouldn't challenge him Tony". Different scenarios rushed through my mind, it did make it a lot easier being on his computer. "Challenge accepted". Natasha high fives me from behind. I hacked into shield using a smart phone, I can do the same to Jarvis, maybe with a laptop though.

"You're not allowed to hack Jarvis, we need him Clint", Natasha scolded me once we were alone in the lift. "But what if I just change what Jarvis calls Tony?" I asked her, Natasha gave me one of infamous glares in response. I huffed. "Now it's 10 o clock in the evening, I'm going to kill them for not being aware of time. It's bed time mister" Natasha said as she brought me to bed. I yawned, I didn't realize it was so late. I noticed blood on her top, "Tasha you're bleeding". I said as I changed and got into bed. I didn't put a shirt on, too much pain to only have to take it off in the morning. "Oh, that it's nothing. It's not mine". It's my teachers. I smiled as I closed my eyes and fell asleep straight away. Maybe Natasha didn't lie after all, she will always protect me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

When I woke up it was still dark out, well as dark as New York can get. I gripped my side as I got out of bed and headed to Natasha's room. She was sweating and gripping onto the sheets for dear life. "Natasha! Wake up" I called to her from a safe distance. I ducked when she a knife in my direction. Luckily I'm short. I took in a deep breath as I got closer to her, "Natasha wake up you're safe". She couldn't hear me. The worst thing possible is being stuck in a nightmare. I climbed onto the other side of the bed and held my breath as I got closer to her. "Natasha it's me, Clint. You're safe. You're with me. You're not there anymore, wake up". Natasha gripped onto my side, the one with the broken rib. I immediately attempted to pull her hand away, it hurt. She pulled me closer to her, putting more and more pressure on my ribs. "Tasha, it hurts". Her hand won't come off. The pains getting worse. I held my breath. Breathe Clint. Breathe. It hurts too much. I can't breathe. I tried pulling her hand off again. It hurts too much. Tears streaming down my face. "Tasha let go".

Suddenly, the pain stopped and Natasha pushed me away. "Oh my god what did I do? What did I do? I hurt you. Clint I am so sorry", Natasha spurted out as she got out of bed and backed herself into a wall. She stared at the knife implanted into the wall beside the door. I took in small breaths, deep breaths hurt too much. I need ice. "You were asleep", I mumbled as I got out of the bed and sat opposite her. "I could've killed you Clint", Natasha looked different then she normally does. She looked more broken, less in control. "But you didn't, you just hurt me. It's my fault though, I knew that you probably would when I got in beside you. It took you ages to wake up. What were you dreaming about anyway?" I rambled on. "You don't want to know", Natasha said as she stared at the space between us. "Why did you come in here Clint? It's 5 in the morning, you don't have to get up till morning". Natasha asked me. "I wanted a cuddle, I haven't been able to see at all for the last few days. I get dinner and then it's bed time. I missed you" I admitted as I kept my eyes focused on the same spot as Natasha. She moved so that she was sitting beside me and wrapped her arms around me. I smiled and leant into her.

"This isn't your first time with a broken rib, is it?" Natasha asked breaking the silence. "No, dad kicked a lot", I admitted to her. The pain was something that felt normal at this stage, grounded me to what's real. "What was your childhood like?" I asked as I looked up to see her face. Her face went blank again, "just like yours. Expect a little more dark and Russian".

I closed my eyes and pretended that Natasha was a spider and I was a hawk. I flapped my arms trying to escape but she had captured me in her web. "What are you doing Clint?" Natasha asked with a laugh, obviously trying to hold back her laughter. "Did you know that a lot of people are afraid of black widow spiders?" I said as I rested my arms on her side. "Mmm oh I know", I could hear the smile in her voice. "They shouldn't be, black widow spiders are actually very nice, they just don't like to be interrupted. Also they don't like biting, it takes a while to get their venom back. But if they feel threatened, they'll bite. And they love dark corners", Natasha really is like a spider. "What something or someone is like can be very different to their reputation", Natasha commented. "Do you think a hawk could get stuck in a spiders web?" Natasha laughed and held me tighter. "The Hawks already stuck, no question about it". I giggled and attempted to escape. Natasha lightly tickled me. I escaped her arms and sat opposite her. My stomach growled. Natasha laughed and helped me up. I pretended to not be able to stand, putting all my weight on Tasha as I swung through her legs, I ignore the pain in my ribs. Natasha sighed, "Clint". I laughed and lay on the ground, reaching up to her. Natasha gave me a playful glare, "are you actually gonna stand up this time?" I nodded. Natasha pulled me up, I slid on the floor again. Natasha frowned, "I'll drop you". That would hurt. I stood up and pouted. "Look who's cute when they pout", Natasha smirked as she squeezed my cheeks. "Come on, I want waffles", I said as I dragged her to the lift. We ate breakfast on the common floor.

"We can take that down", I stared at the nest. Everyone in the room turned their attention to me and then to the nest. "It's your nest Clint, it's your decision", Bruce was the first one to say something. Natasha face was blank. I jumped down from the island, where I ate waffles made by Tony. I walked over to the nest and took the support away. "I need to move on, I've got a new nest now", I told them as I jumped on the pillows and blankets, the funnest part was destroying them.

"Why do all of you look so shocked? Hawks don't have nests on the ground", I told them. Tony burst out laughing. I looked up at my nest that I had created in the air vents during the week. It's a secret. I prefer it that way. "What if we need to find you?" Natasha asked as she lay down beside me. "You'll know where to look". She nodded understanding where it is.

"I'm going to be spending the day in the gym, you can come with me or stay on this floor for the day". With or without Natasha. "I want to stay with you for the day", I smiled as I continued, "can I use the bow? My teacher said it was dumb and useless but I like it", I asked Natasha. She and nodded causing me to grin. "A bow is not useless young hawk, it is a formidable weapon on Asgard", Thor informed me. I forgot that they were watching. "What's Asgard?" I asked as I sat up. "It's one of the nine realms, young hawk". He's crazy, he thinks there's other realms. "He's not crazy, Clint", Natasha said with a laugh. Tony was trying to hold in his laughter. Bruce snickered before going back to his book. "Midgard isn't the only realm with life on it, there are nine and they are connected through a rainbow bridge. Asgard protects them all and protects the peace", Thor explained to me. It sounded like a fairy tale. Like something I had read before. "Wait you're Thor, thee Thor and your brother is Loki and your the son of Odin and your mother is Mother Nature. Mother of earth. You're the God of thunder and your brother is the god of mischief. It's all true, Viking mythology is all true?" I asked recounting all that I remembered from the books and Thor. They team distasteful look when I mentioned Loki. Thor grinned and nodded. "Yes! This calls for a feast". He shouted as the poptarts were done. I laughed.

"I'm heading to the gym now", Natasha informed me, I didn't notice her changing. I got up and ran after her, just making the lift. "Why didn't you wait?" I frowned as I pressed the button for the gym. Natasha smiled slightly, "I knew you'd make it". I shrugged. The lift opened and I ran to the range. "Where's the bow? Where's the bow? Where's the bow?" I jumped up and down as I tried to reach the bow and quiver that was hanging on the wall. "You need to stretch first Clint", Natasha said as she started doing laps around the gym. I sighed and followed her. I just want to use the bow.

"Natasha, how long has it been since I was deaged?" I asked as I stopped at the corner of the gym to do sit ups and push ups. Natasha followed my lead. "Uhh, it's April now so 5 months", Natasha replied, I'm thankful that she didn't ask why. I kept running once I did 20 of each. "Ha I'm ahead", I laughed as I ran around the gym, stopping at each corner to do sit ups and push ups. Natasha quickly over past me. Her cat suit looked slightly tight on her. She's probably eating too much ice cream and granola with me. I stopped once I did 20 laps and copied Natasha's stretching, except for the splits. That hurt. I don't know how Nat could do an over split. "Can I use the bow now?" I asked after we finished stretching. Natasha smiled and nodded, "go ahead". She reached for her stomach, as she inhaled sharply. "Are you okay Tasha?" I asked as I got her to sit down. "Have you eaten? That normally makes me feel faint", Natasha shook her head. "I ate breakfast with you, it's nothing", she said as she went to stand up but winced at the pain. "Are you in pain? Should I get Bruce? I don't know what to do" I asked her, she wasn't physically injured. "No, I'm not in pain just feel really nauseous. It'll pass, I'll be fine in a few minutes. Why don't you show me what you can do with the bow? See can you figure it out", Natasha replied, changing the subject mid conversation. I nodded, "okay". I walked up to the bow and found a few different types of arrows in the quiver. The red looked cool. I pulled the bow back to my cheek, testing out how much strength I'd need to shoot the arrow. I felt the arrow, I threw it up in the air and caught it. It's quite light. I struggled to get the arrow on the bow without falling. When I finally got it, I took in a deep breath, aimed and pulled the string back before releasing the arrow and exhaling.

"You hit the target!" Natasha smiled proudly. Just seconds later the target exploded. I jumped and ran to Natasha. "Clint you weren't supposed to use an explosive arrow, that could have taken this whole floor down!" Natasha snapped as she stood up and walked over to the target, covering her mouth with her sleeve. "Did I do that?" I backed away once I realised there wasn't any danger. "I'm sorry Natasha, I didn't realise that they were trick arrows", I brought the quiver over to her before continuing, "what ones am I supposed to use?" Natasha gave me a look of uncertainty. I pouted. Natasha pointed to the arrows that were blunt, "they're your training ones". I smiled and kissed her cheek. "Thank you", I ran back over to the bow and aimed another arrow at a different target. I exhaled as I shot it. It went too far left, I missed by 5cm. I missed. I glanced at Natasha, checking for any signs of anger. I don't like missing, someone could die if I missed. Natasha's expression remained the same. I picked up another arrow, took in a deep breath, pulled the string back and released it as I exhaled. I hit bullseye. "That's better", I grinned as I put it down and walked over to Natasha. Natasha held her stomach again, "I'm going to go see Bruce, stay in the gym okay? I'll send someone down to stay with you if I find someone on my way", Natasha instructed me. I nodded and hugged her. I watched as Natasha left. I look around the empty gym. My attention turned back to the bow. I found controllers on the wall. I pressed all the buttons to see what happens. I managed to make the targets move. I picked the bow up again and started aiming for the targets. I only managed to hit a few in the hour that I practiced. I covered my ears as Natasha fired her gun and shot everyone of them, hitting bullseye. I grinned, that was awesome. "Are you better now?" I asked her as I put the bow away. "Collect the arrows too. Bruce is going to run some tests, he said it could take a while so I came to get you. I have to be there for some of them", Natasha said as she sat on a bench at the edge of the gym. I collected the arrows then ran over to her. Natasha looked at my arms, the string hit them a few times. "I'll have to get you some arm guards", she noted to herself. "Am I going to be with you or will I go to common floor?" I asked as the lift doors shut. Being in the gym was a lot funner today. Natasha pressed the button for the common floor and the lab. "You're coming with me but I have a job for you, pick up some granola and a banana out of the kitchen then meet me at the lab okay?" Natasha told me. I did as she asked then got in the other lift, heading to the lab.

I heard Bruce and Natasha talking as I got out of the lift.

"When was your last period?" Bruce asked her. I covered my ears, "lalalalalalalala". That's not something I wanted to listen too. Natasha laughed and Bruce grinned. I handed Natasha her banana and opened the granola bar. "Uhh I don't remember it's been a while since I had one but they're not regular anyways. Plus as you know I'm sterile", Natasha answered him. I took down the periodic table poster on Bruce's wall. "Clint don't leave a mess", Natasha told me. "Uh huh", I replied drowning them out. I studied the elements and they're names. I took out another book and learnt what each element was used for.

Natasha tapped me on the shoulder, "let's go". I closed the books and put them back where I got them. I followed Natasha to the lift. She went straight to the couch as soon as we got to our floor. I got her a glass of water and left it beside her. I put a pizza in the oven for dinner, Natasha will have to take it out. "Clint can you get me some paracetamol?" Natasha asked. I nodded and got her two paracetamol. I handed them to her then switched on the tv. I sat on the ground beside her. "Something is seriously wrong, I'm never like this", she said mainly to herself. I tried to focus on the movie.

Natasha got up when the timer went off. She put out the pizza on a plate and cut it. I grinned and ate a slice. "Sit up beside me Clint", Natasha said as she patted the spot beside her. "What if you're sick?" I replied, preferring not to catch it. Natasha scoffed, "well then". I sat up beside her and leant into her. I don't want to hurt her feelings. Natasha smiled and wrapped an arm around me. I took a another slice and ate it. We finished off the pizza then turned our attention back to the movie. It was about lions and cub that can't wait to be King. I yawned and fell asleep before the end.

I opened my eyes and I stood in front of the UN. "He's a threat! He needs to be eliminated! He's a child! He could be lying right now! We need to remove any chance of him becoming an assassin!" I sat in silence in front of all the countries. I looked around until I found Natasha, she looked down in shame. She had tried to keep me away from here but it was inevitable. The rest of team also looked bad for me. Some of the countries agreed for me and some argued against me. They had a vote. I'm scared. "The court as came to a decision, we will remove any chance of him becoming an assassin. Blind him", the judge declared and the crowd cheered. They want to blind me? I'll be blind. My breathing sped up. "No I didn't do anything. I'm innocent. Please. Tasha stop them. Please", I begged but no one did anything. I screamed as the security guards lifted me up and carried me over to the judge. He got a spoon and a small furnace. They kept their calm despite my screams. He heated the spoon and held my head still as he burnt my eye and then the other one. "I can't see, it hurts. Tasha? Help. Why didn't you stop them? Tasha I can't see. I'm scared", I screamed.

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	21. Chapter 21

"Clint you're safe, it's okay I've got you", I heard Natasha say but I still couldn't see her. I clung to her as tears built up in my eyes. "I can't see. I can't see. Help" I screamed. I need to be able to see. "Open your eyes Clint, you just have to open them and look at me", Natasha said in a calm tone as she ran her hands through my hair. I opened my eyes and immediately let the tears flow. Natasha had been asleep, she was wearing one of older Clint's t shirts. I gripped onto her. "Shhh you're safe Clint. I've got you. Do you want to tell me what happened?" Natasha asked as she comforted me. I shook my head, maybe later but right now I can't stop the tears. Blindness scares the shit out of me. "Roof", I mumbled in between tears. Natasha picked me up and carried me to the lift. Bruce was in it when it opened. "Is he okay?" He immediately sounded concerned. I hugged Natasha tighter. Natasha stepped onto the lift, ignoring Bruce. She mouthed something to him, he nodded. "Are we there yet", I mumbled as I leant my head on her shoulder. The lift opened on Bruce's lab then it finally reached the roof. Natasha carried me close to the edge before she put me down, we both sat down and I climbed back onto Natasha's lap. I wiped my tears and looked out over the edge. It never failed to relax me. But if I was blind I wouldn't be able to go to the roof. I wouldn't be able to see this. I felt tears coming back. I sobbed as Natasha once again played with my hair. "It must have been bad if even the roof can't relax you", Natasha commented. I nodded. It's not fair for her to be left in the dark. "I.. I dreamt that the UN brought me to their court, they wanted to decide what to do with me. They came to the conclusion to..to blind me. It scared the fuck out of me. I need my eyes. I'm a hawk for fuck sake", Natasha didn't comment on my language. "Oh my god, you poor thing. Blindness scares me too but I will not let that happen to you Clint. I'll protect you. They'd have to kill me first if they wanted to blind you or even lay a finger on you", Natasha became protective of me. I gripped onto her t shirt again. Natasha will protect me. Natasha will save me. Natasha won't let anyone hurt me. "Please just hold me", I mumbled as I shivered from the cold. I yawned and fell back asleep in her arms.

I woke up to Natasha holding me close to her in her bed. It's warm. It's better than the roof. The roof is breezy and cold. Natasha breathing was slow and even, she was still asleep. I stayed still and enjoyed being close to her. I moved a red curl out of her face, she smiled and started to stir. I dint mean to wake her, but she's so pretty. "You feeling better now?" Natasha asked me. I nodded and stayed close to her. I still don't want to move. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes. "Will we get breakfast? Are you hungry?" Natasha asked me. I shook my head. I feel sick. I can't eat right now. "Feel sick", I mumbled. Natasha's stomach growled. I got up with her. What if my dream came true? The UN did want results, what if they weren't happy with what they got or changed their mind. "I'm scared what if it comes true?" I held onto Natasha's arm. I felt tears threatening to fall. Natasha bent down to my level and hugged me. "Oh Clint, it won't I promise you. You have a whole team of superheroes who all love you and will stop at nothing to protect you. We may be separated but at a moments notice we can assemble and will not estimate to do so for you Clint", Natasha consoled me. I blinked away the tears and held onto Natasha as she picked me and carried me to the common floor. The team noticed my distressed behaviour but didn't comment on it. Natasha picked put some fruit and a granola bar. I smiled and held onto the granola. I don't want it right now but I want it for later. "You're safe Clint, no one is going to hurt you, right guys", Natasha asked for the teams input. They all agreed without hesitation. I smiled and relaxed. I'm safe. I ate the granola bar. Natasha held onto me.

"Natasha I have the results for you if you want to come to the lab", Bruce informed Natasha in a whispered tone as he sat close by. He didn't let anyone else hear their conversation. Natasha nodded. "Are you leaving me?" I asked as I gripped onto her tighter. I need her. Natasha shook her head, "no I'm not leaving you, come on". I smiled and followed them to the lift. "Are you sure this is something you want him to hear?" Bruce asked Natasha but she only nodded. Bruce didn't look convinced.

"I'll wait on the balcony", I said giving them peace. I looked out over the edge. Natasha came out about 10 minutes later. "You", she looked angry and she was blocking the only easy exit. Obviously there's over the balcony but the labs on the top 7th floor. "You fucking did this to me", Natasha glared at me. "I didn't do anything", I replied as I attempted to get past her. She pushed me back, I hit the wall. "Natasha I'm sorry". Where's Bruce gone? "Sorry doesn't cut it this time Clint", she said as she slapped me. I brought my hand up to my face immediately. It stung. Natasha could give a hard hit. "I'm sorry, please Tasha please", I mumbled as I brought my knees to my chest. Something clicked in Natasha, her expression changed from anger to remorse to fear to sadness back to fear. She stepped back. "I'm sorry, please...please forgive me Tasha", I felt tears fall down my cheeks. I don't know what I did. My face hurts. I just want to get away from here, I want out. Natasha stepped to the side, I took the opportunity to run. I climbed into the vents and headed straight for my nest above the common floor. I started to relax then I remembered Natasha knew about this nest. I started to panic. I crawled out of the vents at the next exit. I landed in one of the spare rooms, a games room. I passed by Peppers office, Pepper. I want Pepper. I knocked on the door.

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	22. Chapter 22

"Come in", Pepper said from inside. She was wearing a professional black and grey dress with killer heels. Her jacket was on the back of the chair. Her hair was neatly tided up in a pony tail.I sighed with relief that she was there. Pepper noticed how distressed I look, she put her work to the side. Something I noticed she rarely did. "What's the matter Clint?" She asked as I climbed up onto her lap. "Can I hug you?" I asked not wanting to be bad again. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a tight hug. "Tasha hit me", I admitted before sobbing onto her shoulder. I don't trust her anymore. Natasha was the most caring person ever to me. It was too good to last. Pepper froze, she looked shocked. "I don't know what I did", I sobbed. I stained her dress with my tears. I jumped down, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry". I backed up against a wall. "I got you dirty, I'm sorry Pepper", I brought my knees to my chest. Pepper sat down beside me. "Nonsense Clint, I'd rather console you then let you have a panic attack on my floor", Pepper said in a calm tone as she guided me onto her lap, "plus you give the best hugs". I hugged her again, clinging to her. "W..why did she hit me? I did nothing wrong. She promised no one would hurt me", I sobbed and started to panic at the thought of having to go back. Where am I going to sleep? What if no one else believes me? What if I have another nightmare "Shh Clint, I won't let Natasha let you down again and trust me I'm the CEO of Stark Industries. I'm very persuasive and protective. I won't let you down like Natasha did, although I doubt she meant it. It was probably a mistake." Pepper vowed to protect me. I continued to sob onto her shoulder. I ran into the rest room and got sick. When I came back out Pepper handed me some water. I took a few sips before handing it back. "I feel weak", I told her before collapsing into her arms.

I slowly blinked my eyes open, her office is very bright. "You fainted", Pepper explained as she took my feet down. They were on a chair. "Sit up slowly and I'll get you something to eat. How about granola and milk?" Pepper left to go get me food. I slowly sat up and leant against the wall. After another few minutes I climbed onto her office chair. It spins! I laughed as I spun around. I stopped as soon as I heard Pepper coming. "You're not eating at my desk, too much important paperwork", Pepper explained her reasoning behind the rule as she pointed at the couch. I sat on it and had granola and milk.

"May I use your laptop, Pepper?" I asked as politely as possible. She nodded and told me her password for it and everything. I went straight for searching the web for any signs of Bobbi and Hunter. I want them back. They were nice to me. But I couldn't find a thing. Pepper looked hesitant before telling me about Natasha.

"Clint while I was getting your food I saw Natasha, she looked really sorry. I don't think she meant what she did", Pepper informed me. I glanced at the lift. "Will you come with me?" I asked Pepper. I smiled as she agreed. Pepper held my hand as we walked out into the common space.

Natasha turned around, she sighed with relief when she saw me. I ignored her. "Let's talk about this", Pepper said as she sat down beside Natasha. I stayed standing at the doorway. Pepper turned to Natasha, "tell us what started this moment of anger". Natasha looked awful, she was pale and drowsy looking. "I'm pregnant", Natasha pointed at me, "and he's the father". Pepper gave her a look, "you didn't you know with an 8 year old". Natasha shivered, "God, no".

I'm not the dad. Older Clint is. Fewer and fewer people distinguish between me and older Clint anymore. Pepper hugged Natasha and congratulated her. I slowly made my way over to them. "Clint it appears that I owe you an apology. I'm sorry for taking my shock and anger out on you. That's wrong on so many levels. I will never forgive myself for hitting you and don't blame you if you don't ever want to talk to me again. I apologise with all my heart", Natasha apologised to me. I want to forgive her but she hurt me, she broke my trust. It won't be the same as it was before.

"I forgive you, Natasha" I mumbled as I sat down on the floor. Natasha's pregnant. "Where do babies come from?" Natasha stumbled on her words. "From a mommy and a daddy, they can be either planned or accidental. At your age that's all you need to know", Pepper quickly told me causing Natasha to sigh with relief.

"How far along are you?" Pepper asked her. "6 months, I'm surprised I'm not showing", Natasha's hands rested on her belly. "You are", I mumbled causing Tony to laugh, "run kid, run. Never call a woman fat". I chuckled as Natasha threw a pillow at me. I used it to lie on, I closed my eyes. "Clint come on,lie on the couch" Natasha invited me up as soon as I had fallen half asleep on the floor. I lay down on the couch with my head in her lap. I did as I was told. I'd rather be on Peppers lap. Pepper and Natasha continued to talk about pregnancy and what Natasha should expect and what she shouldn't do.

I woke up in Natasha's bed with her spooning me. I felt so relaxed. "I have an ultrasound today, I want you to be there", Natasha told me. "Why do I have to be there?" I frowned not knowing what an ultrasound is. "Because you're technically the dad", Natasha replied. I'm not the dad. Why do people keep comparing us. I'm 8. "Why are you tensing up?", Natasha ran her fingers through my hair. "I'm not the dad, I'm nothing to do with older Clint. It's dad is dead!" I snapped at her before getting up and going into the bathroom. "I'm not like him, I'm not a liar. I'm not like him", I mumbled to myself as I washed my hands and wiped my tears in the towel. I don't want the baby to turn out as fucked up as I am.

When I went back out into her room, Natasha was sitting up against the headboard, crying. She was crying. "Tasha?" I climbed back into the bed and hugged her from the side. "What I meant is I'm scared. My dad wasn't much of a dad but I can be the best big brother in the world to him", I promised to Natasha. "You're right though, it's dad is dead", Natasha cried into her arms and brought her knees up to her chest. I don't know what to do. Natasha never cries. "I'm the fucking black widow why am I crying? I hate being pregnant", Natasha wiped her eyes and turned her head to look at me. I climbed onto her lap and snuggled up against her. "When this baby comes does it mean I have to share you, because I don't wanna", I whispered as I listened to her heart. Natasha laughed and played with my hair. "Yes, you'll have to learn to share", she replied with a chuckle. "Natasha what's an ultrasound?" I asked causing her laugh again. "You had a tantrum over something and you don't even know what it is". I nodded. "I'm sorry", I instinctively replied. "It's where they put gel on my stomach and then use a machine to see the baby. I don't know the science behind it. Ask Bruce or Tony" Natasha replied and added the last bit in before I started asking questions.

I yawned, Natasha's chest is really comfy. Nothing like boobs for cushions. I smirked. "You're enjoying being there too much" Natasha laughed as she pushed me off. I pouted. "Looks who cute when he pouts", she teased me before getting up and heading for her morning shower. I got dressed and waited on the couch for Natasha.

"Alright come on, we're kinda late so we'll get breakfast afterwards", Natasha informed me as we got in the lift. She pressed the button for the lab. I nodded and held my stomach, I didn't get dinner last night. I only had a granola bar which I puked up. I don't want to complain. I sat beside Natasha as Bruce set everything up. My stomach growled. I want food now. How long will this take. Bruce explained the procedure to Natasha before rubbing a gel on her stomach. "Let's see your baby, do you want to know if it's a boy or girl?" Bruce asked Natasha. She nodded and held my hand. I squeezed it. Bruce used a black cable with a box at the end to search for the baby. He pointed out the baby to us. "It looks like an alien", I chuckled as my stomach growled again. "Clint if you're hungry, Tony hides blueberries around the lab. I think I found some by the pile of books over there", he pointed me in the direction of food. I got up and searched. "Found em", I held them up for a second before opening the packet and eating them. I sat back down beside Natasha. "All you care about is food", she laughed at me. What's new? Bruce moved the cord around a little bit. "Ahh there we go, Clint and Natasha you are going to have a baby boy", Bruce told us with a huge smile. Natasha brought her hand to her stomach. I tensed up, I'm not the dad. "You're going to have a baby brother Clint", Natasha said confirming that I'm not the dad. "Clint doesn't like when people compare him to older Clint, if he doesn't want to be associated with the bad parts then he can't be associated with the good parts", Natasha explained to Bruce. He nodded, "out of all people, trust me I understand".

"Can we get breakfast now?" I asked as Natasha used a towel to dry her belly. She nodded but took her time. "Tasha I'm hungry", I moaned as she was taking forever. My stomach started to cramp. "All right lets go, I'll talk to you later Bruce and can you keep the gender a secret at least until I'm ready", Natasha asked Bruce. He nodded, "of course Natasha". I dragged her to the lift and pressed the button. I ran for the kitchen once the door opened. I'm starving. I immediately starting eating granola and drinking a glass of milk. I then ate an apple and 3 peaches while Natasha made me porridge. "You better slow down there or you won't eat your porridge", Natasha warned me. If only I listened. I sat at the island and ate another granola bar. "Thank you", I said to Natasha as I ate the porridge. When I finished I ate a box of eggos. My stomach started to cramp again. "Tasha I feel sick", I laid my head down on the counter. "It looks like you are too much", Natasha rubbed my back. Is that possible? I ran to the bathroom and got sick. "I was hungry", I shrugged. "I feel better now", I smiled as I cleaned up after myself.

I snuggled into Natasha. "Tasha where's Bobbi and Hunter? Can you use some secret spy device to contact them and check if they're okay?" Natasha smiled and held back a laugh. "Secret spy device? You're spending too much time with Tony". Tony laughed. Natasha pulled out her phone and dialled a number. She waited for the person to answer on the other end before handing it to me. "Hello?" I responded to them. "Clint? Is that you?" I grinned, it was Bobbi. I leant into Natasha. "Yes, it's me. I wanted to know if you're okay",we haven't heard from you. "We're both good. We miss you", I could hear Bobbi smiling. "Where are you?" I asked her. Bobbi sighed, "you know I can't answer that". I know. "What have I missed anything exciting?" Bobbi asked me. I thought back to what she missed a lot. "A lot of bad stuff, but I don't want to talk about it. Oh, I learned how to play chess. I bet Bruce after like 30 games. I also learned how to use a bow. I hit bullseye every time", I told her some of the good things that happened. "You're using a bow?" She sounded happy. I nodded then remembered she couldn't see me, "yeah". I tried to recall what else. "I also painted Tony's iron man suits pink", I laughed remembering his reaction. Bobbi laughed, I heard Hunter laughing in the back round. "Did you go to Iowa?" Bobbi asked me. I took in a deep breath. "It didn't go well so?" Bobbi asked picking up on my tension. "I said goodbye, it was good going there but I was happy to leave. New York is my home now". Avengers tower is my home. "At least you got to go right? I have to go now. I miss you", Bobbi said before hanging up. "I miss you too", she didn't hear me. I smiled as I leant into Natasha. Jarvis sounded an alarm. Natasha immediately stood up and headed to the infirmary, she got her weapons. The other avengers did the same. I clung to Pepper, "I'm scared". It was only Bruce, Natasha, Thor and Tony. "Clint, Pepper the team apologies but they had to leave. They should be back in a few days", Jarvis informed us. "A few days", I moaned as I found a book and started reading it.


	23. Chapter 23

"So what did you do while I was gone?", Natasha asked. She left me. I'm almost finished. "I studied Asgardian mythology, actually I guess it's not mythology. Anyways, I studied all about the universe and the nine realms and who lives there. It was really interesting", I rambled on. Natasha lay down on the opposite couch. The rest of the team sat down as well. "Where's Bruce?" I frowned realising he hadn't come back with them. "He took off in hulk form", Tony replied to me. Natasha and Tony looked sad. Slowly the avengers are splitting up. "Where's Vision, Scott and Wanda?" I wondered about the rest of the team. "Wanda and Scott are with Steve and Vision is in Wakanda with T'chali". I sat down on he floor beside Natasha, "do you need anything?" I whispered. She smiled, "a glass of water and a blanket". I got her the water then pulled a blanket from the stash left over from my nest.

"I'd like some water too", Tony said pushing his luck. I laughed, "then go get some". Tony huffed. "Why don't I get special treatment?" He asked as he made ridiculous gestures. I laughed again, "because you're not pregnant". That caused Thor and Pepper to laugh. Thor stood up. "I have some business I must attend to on Asgard", he announced before taking his leave. I sat back down on the ground next to Natasha, she played with my hair as we watched Zootopia. Tony stood up and got a drink. "We should play a game", Tony took a sip of his drink I sat up and leant into Natasha. I don't like people drinking. "Let's play never have I ever, except the two of you use soda or something" he said as he decided. Natasha laughed, "that's what teenagers play and why can't I drink?". Tony shrugged as Pepper sat down. "You can't drink

while pregnant, or eat eggs, fish or chicken not cooked by you or smoke, really it's all keep it natural", Pepper explained to Natasha. Even I knew that. Why doesn't she?

"I don't want to play", I edged closer to Natasha. Tony took another sip. I looked away from them, trying to fight the panic building up in my chest. I'm safe, Tony doesn't get angry when he's drunk. "Come on, it'll be fun", Tony begged repeatedly. Pepper agreed to play. "Fine I'll play", Natasha gave in to Tony's begging.

I don't want to be here. I want my nest. I want mom back. Why are they drinking? Why is Natasha playing the game? She can't drink. Is she going to hurt the baby? I want my nest. I want my nest. But we destroyed it. The vents. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream.

Men don't cry. I'm scared. Don't let them know. Should I leave? They'll question it. What if I say I'm tired? No. It won't work. Natasha will notice. I'm not tired. Why do people drink? Peppers drinking too. I want my nest. Control my breathing. In and out, in and out.

"How about you Clint, do you want to play?" Natasha asked. Be a good boy, do as I'm told. They want me to play, not panic. I smiled, even though I'm terrified. I nodded. I can't trust my voice. Tony got up and came back with paddles with I have on one side and I have never on the other. "Use these instead of shots", he explained. I relaxed slightly. Natasha ran her fingers through my hair.

I took a paddle from Tony. I ran my hand over the top where the writing is. It would really hurt to be hit with it. Breath. "Lady's first", Tony said as he gestured for Pepper to start the game. Pepper smiled as she thought of a statement to begin with.

"Never have I ever flirted my way out of a ticket", Pepper stated. Natasha laughed and turned her paddle to I have, Tony did the same. Tony took another drink. "I'm not surprised, just look at her", Tony ogled Natasha. "I'm trying to think of one that isn't dirty", Natasha laughed as she continued, "never have I ever cried to a kids movie". I have. Tony and Pepper have. "Seriously? How? Have you not watched the lion king?" Pepper bombarded her with questions. Natasha shrugged, "I don't know I just haven't".

Tony grinned, "never have I ever done the walk of shame". He took another drink as he laughed at Natasha admitted that she had. I tensed up slightly as I sat closer to Natasha. It's my go. They're staring, waiting. I don't like it. "I wanna go to bed", I choked out as I struggled to get out of Natasha grip. Breath. I want my nest. I pressed the button for the lift. "I'll take him up, you relax" Pepper stood up, she wobbled slightly before taking her heels off and walking over to me. She still has the paddle. I can't move. She's drunk. Don't scream. Breath. Vents.

I ran for the access to the vents and climbed in. I climbed up to my nest. I pulled my knees to my chest. Breath. I squeezed my eyes shut. I shouldn't of ran. It would hurt less. Is Pepper angry?

"Clint can you please come out, we can make another nest", Natasha called. I can't. I can't move. I can't go back. I wiped my tears away. I climbed up to our floor. I got out and ran for my room. I need to hide. I should have been good. I shouldn't of panicked. I should've been good. I screamed when Pepper came in. She's drunk. I glanced around the room, I'm cornered. I can't run. "Clint, there you are. Come downstairs Natasha is worried", she's out of breath. She probably took the stairs. I shook my head. Shit. I have to do as I'm told. "Can ..N..Natasha come up ...here", I stuttered. Breath Clint breath. "Of course, take deep breaths she'll be up in a second", Pepper sat on the bed beside me. I flinched as she rubbed my back. "Don't touch me!" I screamed again. Pepper stood up as Natasha came in. I climbed onto her lap. "You're shaking", Natasha commented as she wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back. Tony and Pepper left the room. "Breath Clint, deep breaths you're okay. You're safe. I've got you". I held on tightly to her. She didn't question what caused me to panic. I listened to her heartbeat. It gave me something to focus on.

"It was Tony and Pepper. They were drinking. I don't like when people drink. Dad used to drink. Every time he did, I'd get hurt. I should've did as I was told", I admitted when I felt calmer. I played with a string on her jumper. "What were you told to do?" Natasha asked. "Stay in bed, go to sleep. But I couldn't do that because he used to hurt mom. He'd make her scream and she'd be really quiet the next day", I explained to her. Natasha nodded in understanding. "Neither Tony or Pepper is going to hurt you, you know that right?" She asked me. I nodded. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" I mumbled. I don't want to be left alone. I let out a deep breath when Natasha agreed.

"I'm not going to bed yet though, it's only eight o'clock", Natasha told me as she continued to rub my back. "I don't want to go back to the common room...can I go to bed now?" I asked as I got up and changed into pjs. "Yes you can, I'll tuck you in", Natasha walked me to her room. I snuggled up under the blankets. I smiled as Natasha tucked the covers around me.

The breeze hit me as I swung on the swing we made. It's getting dark and a little chilly. The sky is filled with all tones of purples and reds. It should be calming, but dad is drinking. He's at the pub. It closes at 11:30. It's 11 now. I learnt to read the time on the watch mom bought me. I yawned, I should be asleep by now. No one cares though. They don't care that I'm awake. I'm able to run, I have a head start. If I sleep I'm cornered. It was really warm today. I was in shorts and a t shirt. I was sweating. It's too cold for that now. I should really leave a jumper out here.

Dads home. It's only 11:10. He's early. "Clint for fuck sake get in!", he caught me. Should've been up higher. I ran for the door, stay out of arms reach. It didn't work. He hit me over the back of the head. A light tap, a get in before I do worse tap. I ran upstairs. Hide. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. "Herald, you're home early", I heard mom say from downstairs followed by a bang. He hit her. And another bang. I climbed up on top of my wardrobe. He doesn't search up high. I could feel myself shaking. At least it's warmer inside. Moms screaming, I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my ears as tightly as possible. I should do something. He shouldn't hurt her.

I banged on their door. It's locked. "Stop hurting mom!" Someone's on the other side rattling the key. Dad. Run. "Fucking little accidental shits. Come mere", he caught me. I kicked and punched to get away. Don't scream. He punched harder. "You're going in the box", he said with a laugh. "I'm sorry. No! Barney! Mom! Help! No no no please I'm sorry. Dad I'm sorry. Don't put me in it please", I begged but he made up his mind. He dragged me into the bathroom and swung everything off the chest before opening it. I kicked at the lid as he pushed me in. It's too dark. I can't move. He forced the lid down and locked it. He's laughing as he shook it. I let the tears I was holding back go.

It's too dark. I can't move. I can't sleep. Breath Clint breath. There's no air. I hate it in here.

"Clint!" My shot open. I'm not in the box. I'm in Natasha's bed. Tears streamed down. She pulled me into her lap. Her face is bruised. She didn't have that when she put me to bed. "It's okay, it's nothing", she hugged me tighter. That's what mom used to say. I want her. I gripped onto her top. "You're safe, it was just a dream", Natasha consoled me. It wasn't a dream, it was a memory. There's a difference. Dreams are good, the others not. "Do you want to talk about it? It helps sometimes", Natasha asked. I ran my fingers over the bruise on her cheek. It's the same size as my hand. "I did that, didn't I?" She nodded. "But I was dreaming so it's okay?" I confirmed what I told her a few days ago. She smiled. "No, I don't want to talk about it. I want to forget it", I explained as I wiped my eyes. Tears kept coming. I feel sweaty. "Why did you leave?" Natasha left me. I wouldn't have had a nightmare if she left me. "Clint we're not always going to be together and you have to understand that. I'm sorry I wasn't here", Natasha explained.

"It's the middle of the night, go back to sleep" Natasha rubbed my back. I can't sleep. I shook my head. She yawned as she sat up in the bed searched for her phone. "It's 3am, either talk or sleep", she gave me the choice. I laid back down and snuggled into Natasha. I don't want to talk. She can't make me. I turned away from her and let the tears flow. I'm scared. I'm safe but not from my memories.

I slowly crawled out of the bed without waking her. I can't sleep, I need to get up high. I grabbed a jumper and headed for the lift. I counted how long it took the lift to reach the roof. The lift is a bit too small for my liking.

The chill of the night hit me as soon as the lift opened. I took in a deep breath. I felt calmer immediately. I sat on the edge. Tony set up a harness for me. He thinks it's not safe. Or maybe Pepper thinks so. I attached myself to the harness. It stops me from falling off. That's the thrill of it though. What would happen if I jumped?

I shook off the last thoughts of the nightmare. I counted the stars. It's pointless, there's billions but at least I can focus on it.

 **Thanks for reading xx**


	24. Chapter 24

"Hi...couldn't sleep either eh?" Tony asked from the lift door. "Yeah, nightmares", I responded as I turned around. Tony's eyes have dark circles around them. He shook his head, "you shouldn't be having nightmares at 8". I shrugged. "Life's not fair", it's the truth. Life isn't rainbows and fairytales. Tony sat down beside me, I smiled as he wrapped an arm around me. "Why couldn't you sleep?" I asked him. Tony's nice, expect when he first met me. He didn't like me, none of the avengers did. That's probably why I was with Bobbi and Hunter. "Dreaming about going through a giant wormhole up there, at least I can talk about it now without freaking out", he pointed up to the sky. "That would freak me out too, did that actually happen?" Tony nodded. We fell into a comfortable silence.

"What about you?", Tony asked. I knew it was coming. Now is the part where I talk. I took in a deep breath. "Do you promise not to tell? You have to pinky swear" I asked as I held my pinky up. Tony linked pinkies with me, "pinky swear". I inhaled and exhaled, reminding myself to breath. "Take your time kid", Tony held my hand. It might seem unmanly but he's anchoring me.

"I dreamt of dad coming home drunk. He hit me and uh..punished me", please don't ask what he did. What if Tony does it? "Why did he hit you?" Tony asked me focusing in on a different part. "Cause I'm a little accidental shit who was never supposed to be born", I repeated what dad told me all the time. I tensed up slightly, Tony probably doesn't like me repeating that. "That's bullshit, you were a superhero Clint. You may have lied a bit but ultimately you saved our lives countless times", Tony reassured me. I tried to smile but it wasn't too convincing. "Plus sometimes accidents are good. I made an accident on my paperwork like 17 years ago, it would've cost me 1 million dollars but Pepper spotted it and wasn't afraid to tell me I made a mistake. If I hadn't made it, I would've never met her. Sometimes mistakes are good", Tony smiled as he told me about how he met Pepper. "Now you told me what he said but why did he hit you? Did you do something to anger him? Or would it be for no reason?" Tony persisted. I looked down at the street. The cars never stopped. "He hurt mom, I tried to stop him so he hit and punished me". Tony frowned, "hitting you wasn't the punishment?" I don't want to think about it.

Suddenly it's gotten a lot darker. I'm in the chest. No matter how hard I push against the lid it won't open. "Let me out, it's too dark...please let me out, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Let me out. Help! Help!" I cried for help. It's too dark. I can't move.

My back hit the ground. Tony lay beside me. "Jesus kid you nearly threw us off the edge", Tony raised his voice but only for emphasis. "I'm sorry", I unstrapped myself from the harness and ran for the lift. "Clint", I heard Tony call after me but I didn't stop. I took the stairs down to the lab. That's as far as I could go. Tony bet me there.

"Clint it's okay, you're safe. We can get a lot of blankets and pillows together if you want a nest", Tony stayed back. More for my sake than his. A nest. I need a nest. I nodded. Tony went in search of blankets. He took the lift. I'm alone now.

I don't like being alone. It's too dark. I searched for the light switch. "Jarvis can you turn the lights on?" A woman answered. "It's Friday now sir and certainly", the room brightened up. Friday sounded Irish. It sounds weird. I thought back to my nightmare, I had a flashback in front of both Tony and Natasha. They're both going to want an explanation. I hurt them while I was having the flashback. I sat down against a wall with my knees up to my chest.

Tony returned with blankets and Natasha. She looked wide awake despite it being 4 in the morning. Natasha sat down beside me and wrapped us in blankets. I cuddled into her, smiling as I listened to her heartbeat. "I'm sorry I hurt you", I mumbled into her top. I yawned, finally feeling safe enough to sleep. "Go to sleep", Natasha said in a soft tone as she massaged my hair. Tony sat down at his office chair and relaxed into it. I yawned again, closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.

"He told me what you probably already know. Except there was one thing that he refused to tell. Some kind of punishment. He freaked when I brought it up. Nearly threw me off the roof" I heard Tony talking as I woke up. They didn't notice that I was awake. Tasha's comfy. The box isn't. "He used to have nightmares when he was..an adult. He dismissed them saying it was just his childhood. Just his dad..." Natasha admitted. Tony frowned, "It must have been bad for him to have nightmares about it 30 years on". Natasha sighed and ran her fingers through my hair. "You awake?" Natasha asked me. I nodded. I didn't move, I'm comfy. "Did I really have nightmares about the punishment when I was 30?" I asked Tasha. "Yeah well I don't know because you never talked about it. You would freak out and attack anyone that went near you until you got to somewhere high enough that you could clear your head. You wouldn't have nightmares if you talked about it, if you're worried that we're going to repeat the punishment you're an idiot. We would never punish you in any way that would scare or hurt you", Natasha told me in a serious tone. I nodded, but the small chance that they would do it scared me. I sat up and looked at Tony then Natasha, "okay". They both smiled in encouragement. It's too dark. Men don't cry. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. "I can't do it", I hid in Natasha's shoulder. "How about this, did it hurt or scare you?" Tony asked me. "Scare", it terrified me. It still does. "Was it bright or dark?" He asked the next question. "Too dark", I mumbled. I could feel tears building up. "Was it big or small?" Tony asked. Too small. I can't move. "Small, can't move", I let the tears flow. "Men don't cry", I mumbled as I rubbed my tears away. "There's nothing wrong with crying Clint. It's natural, you're scared it's going to happen. No point beating yourself up about it. We all cry sometimes", Tony responded immediately. It's okay to cry? No. Men don't cry. No. It's okay. Tony is always right.

"It was a chest, a box. Just about big enough for me to fit in. He locked it and kept the key. No matter how hard I hit it never opened. The more I hit, the longer I was in it. The more I screamed the longer I was in it. The more I cried the longer I..I was in it. It was in the bathroom. It looked like a storage cabinet", I admitted as I rubbed the tears away with my sleeve. It did feel better talking about it. Tony and Natasha both looked like they had seen a ghost. Then they both looked angry. Why are they angry? I did what they wanted. "I'm sorry", I could feel myself shaking. "Clint we're not angry at you. We're pissed at you're dad", Natasha hugged me, tighter than she ever has before. I like it. I wrapped my arms around her. "Please don't punish me", I mumbled into Natasha's chest.

"How about we do something fun to take your mind off of your dad?" Tony asked me. I smiled and nodded. I needed a distraction. "Like what?" I asked him still leaning against Natasha. "We could go to the park?" Natasha suggested. Something bad always happens when we go to the park. I shook my head. "We could go for waffles and ice cream?" Tony suggested. I'm not hungry. The thought of eating sickens me. "You could go to the workshop with me?" Tony suggested another idea. I could hack Jarvis like I promised a few days ago. I smirked. "He has a plan, you're not going near Jarvis", Tony deciphered my plan. I laughed, am I that predictable?

"Fine, I'll leave Jarvis alone", I smiled as I stood up. "Workshop?" I asked as I walked to the lift. It won't open without an adult, at least they believe so. "Wait how did you get up here?" Natasha asked me. I pointed to the lift. "You're not supposed to be able to go in the lift without an adult", Tony commented. "I programmed it out of Jarvis", it's wasn't hard.

"Look at me", I looked up at Tony, "workshop yes or no?" I nodded, "yes". The lift opened on the floor to the workshop. Tony and I stepped out, I turned around and waved at Natasha. I shadowed Tony as he worked on a new design for a voice activation system. "Call the team by their nicknames, please. It'd be funny." I asked Tony causing him to smirk and change the names.

Thor is point break.

Bruce is the strongest avenger.

Steve is capiscle.

Coulson is agent.

I'm legolas.

"Why do I have control of the plane? I can't even fly a plane. I'm 8", sometimes Tony had to be reminded of my age. He got carried away. "You never know Clint. When you might be the only one who can fly. It happened before, when we met Wanda", Tony turned around to face me. "What's Natasha's nickname?" I asked Tony. He opened his mouth to say something then decided against it. "You decide, then she can't blame me for it", Tony laughed nervously. I smiled, Natasha's not scary, "Spider".

 **Thanks for reading xx**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"Clint how would you feel about moving?" Tony asked me after he finished working on the programming. I shrugged, I knew they'd get rid of me eventually. Tony sighed, "with us. To a new avengers facility". I smiled with relief. "That's okay, as long as I can make nests there and have access to the roof". My stomach growled, I looked at Tony with pleading eyes. "Can we order pizza?" Tony matched my expression and smiled warmly at me, "no". I pouted at him. I walked towards the lift, "I'll get Thor to get me a pizza". Tony laughed. "Thor is not here ", Jarvis informed me. Dammit.

"How were you even going to get Thor to get you a pizza?" Tony questioned me. I smirked, "follow him until he makes even a mild accomplishment and shout 'this calls for a feast'. Then he either gets poptarts or orders a pizza." Tony laughed.

"Can I go find Tasha?" I waited for a response. "No sir" Jarvis replied to me. Tony laughed slightly. I frowned, I didn't ask him. "Are you hungry? I could bring you to the kitchen. I make killer waffles. You can find Natasha later." Tony asked me getting up and leading me into the lift. He pressed the button for the common floor. I sat at the counter waiting on waffles. "Jarvis where is Natasha?" I asked him. "No sir" Jarvis replied again. "Tony he's broke", I mumbled as I got some blueberries out of the fridge. "Can you pass me the milk too please?" Tony asked me. I took it out and offered it to him. Tony took in a sharp breath and glanced towards the counter. "I don't like being handed things", he explained. I placed it on the counter. I stole Tony's Stark pad and scanned through Jarvis's code. "What are you doing?" Tony asked wearily. "And Jarvis how did you not pick up on the hacking?" I ignored him as I scanned the code. "He's using your tablet sir, and you gave him access, Lord Stark" Jarvis responded to Tony. I laughed, I've read too much game of thrones. Tony smirked, "I kinda like it". Tony served me the waffles. "I found the problem", Tony's face dropped, "Tasha is..oh". I looked down, blushing as I ate the waffles. I shouldn't have checked for a bug in Jarvis. "So who is she with?" Tony smirked as he took the tablet. "She's with falcon, she has a thing for birds", Tony snickered. Natasha and Sam. I frowned, "isn't she pregnant? Does it not hurt the baby?" I asked Tony causing him laugh. "Ask Natasha that, no wait ask Steve. Please I'll pay you. Ask Steve. I'll get you pizza if you ask Steve", Tony grinned. I shrugged, "alright I'll ask Steve, but you owe me a pizza." Steve doesn't even live here anymore though.

"Jarvis inform me when they're done", Tony asked Jarvis. "Will do Lord Stark", I grinned at Jarvis. Tony turned around to me. "Wait you shouldn't be reading game of thrones", he warned me as he took a sip of his coffee. I grinned. "Too late?", he answered his own question. I smiled and nodded. "You're stuck with me for the day, so what we doing?" I asked Tony. "I've a board meeting, Pepper will kill me if I miss it. Sorry but there will be press and they'd have a field day if they saw me with a kid", Tony informed me. I pouted. "Am I going to be alone?" I mumbled looking down at the floor. "No I'm not leaving until they're finished. That's why I asked Jarvis to tell me when they're done. I was being perverted." Tony told me. I relaxed. "Now do you mind if we go up to my floor? I need to get ready", he asked as he felt his goatee. I took his hand and led him to the lift. "No problem Lord Stark", I said with a laugh. The lift opened on Tony's floor. I watched tv in Tony's room while he got ready. I wonder when I go see Natasha. "Why do people have sex?" I blurted out. Tony looked at me seriously. "Clint this really isn't something you should be asking me, but people have sex because they enjoy it. You won't really understand it until you're older", Tony answered me. "Do you like having sex?" I asked just as Pepper walked in. Tony smirked at Pepper blushing. "Why are you having the sex talk with an 8 year old Tony?" Pepper asked him. "Natasha and Steve are doing it and Clint found out by hacking Jarvis. He was asking questions, I told him to ask Natasha and that people have sex because they enjoy it that's all", Tony explained to Pepper. Pepper frowned at him before smiling at me, "Clint save your questions for Natasha and don't the ask the playboy". Now I have more questions, what's a playboy?

"Lord Stark, Ms Romanoff and Mr Rogers are in the common floor", Jarvis announced. Pepper glared at Tony. "Lord Stark?" She looked fed up. "In my defence, it wasn't me this time", Tony stood up. He looked good in his suit, freshly shaven and showered. "You're ready? On time?" Pepper sounded sceptical. "He wants sex", I blurted out as I ran for the lift. Tony and Pepper laughed as they got in the lift with me. "No more of this rude talk, okay Clint?" Pepper instructed me. I nodded, "okay Pepper".

The lift opened on the common floor. Natasha and Steve were lying on the couch together. I took a step forward then stopped, standing in the doorway of the lift. Steve has his arm around Natasha. "We're just dropping him off, we have a meeting", Pepper told them. Tony nudged me forward. I glared at Steve. My Natasha. "Come on over Clint we're watching a movie", Natasha smiled at me. I pressed the button for the lift. "Clint you're staying here", Natasha told me, I shook my head but there's no where else to go. "Is us cuddling making you uncomfortable Clint?" Steve asked me. I'm not answering that. Don't complain. I sat down on the opposite couch and focused on the movie. "Clint, please talk to us", Natasha begged. Natasha never begged. I stood up and knelt beside them, I placed my hand on Natasha's stomach. She smiled at me. It moved. The baby kicked me. "Did you feel that?" Natasha asked me with a smile. I nodded. Steve went to put his hand on her stomach, I swatted it away. I shouldn't of done that. I stumbled to get to my feet, "I..I'm sorry sir". I backed away from them. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. I'm scared. Natasha groaned as she sat up. I want Tony and Pepper. I ran into Peppers office. Only Tony and Pepper can get in. I relaxed slightly but they're still on the other side. Natasha banged on the door. "Clint come out please", Natasha called to me. "Steve is gone, he went up to his floor".

"Jarvis where is Steve?" I asked him, he confirmed what Natasha told me. "You don't trust me Clint?" Natasha asked. "I'd be an idiot to take an assassin at her word", I responded before opening the door. It automatically closed behind me. Natasha's expression never changed, at least it seemed that way but I saw it. For a split second her arm dropped, the one she's offering for me to take. I motioned for her to kneel down to my height. I hugged her, letting silent tears flow. "Clint you've been a bit of jerk since Tony and Pepper left you off. Steve and I did nothing wrong", Natasha hugged me back and ran her hand through my hair. "I missed you, but you were having sex with Steve." Natasha pushed me back so that she could see my face, "who told you...I'm going to kill Stark". I laughed, "Tony didn't tell me, I figured it out through Jarvis's code". Natasha led me to the couch. "What made you uncomfortable when you came in here though?" Natasha asked me. "I wanted you but Steve had you", I responded honestly. No lies. Natasha smiled, "you were jealous?" I shrugged. "I'm sorry, you deserve adult company. Steve is nice". I cuddled into Natasha. I wiped the tears with my sleeve.

"Can we do something fun?" I asked her. Natasha nodded, "we need to go shopping for the baby?" I sighed, shopping isn't fun. It's weird to think that baby is technically mine. I followed Natasha to one of Tony's cars, Sam is coming with us. "Natasha?" I asked to get her attention. She glanced my way through the mirror in the car. "Are shield still considering re ageing me. Like getting me back to the age I was. I'm just wondering because when I was first deaged Bobbi, Coulson and Hunter kept discussing how to fix me." Am I being fixed right now? Natasha thought about it for a while before answering me. "No they're not going to re age you. Coulson and his teams intent was to wipe your memory of hydra. Instead they some how reversed ageing. It scared them at first, scared all of us. We wanted to find a way to fix you, not realising the you were fixed. You don't remember hydra and have no connections to it", Natasha answered me. "Why me? Why not save someone else?" I don't have any special abilities.

"Kid you never miss, literally. I seen you shoot planes down with a bow and arrow 15,000 ft up in the air. You can do astrophysics questions in your head and then apply it to the shot within seconds" Sam answered me. I smiled I could do a lot. "What were they trying to fix in me? I mean what's so bad about hydra" I have been told so many times that hydra is bad and they deaged me because I was hydra, but no one told me what it is. Natasha smiled at me, "it's a bad organisation Clint, but like I said you don't have any connections with hydra and you don't remember it anyways." I nodded thinking about that for a while. "So I'm fixed?" I asked Natasha. She smiled at me, "yeah, you're fixed".

"Clint we're home wake up" Natasha gently shook me. I groaned as I turned away from her. I had been asleep and intended on staying asleep. "Will I carry him?" Steve asked Natasha. Natasha didn't answer, probably not knowing how I'd react. I lifted my arms up so that I could wrap them around his neck. Steve lifted me up and walked along side Natasha. "At least I know you're strong", I could hear the smirk in Natasha's voice. "What's for dinner?" I yawned as I leaned into Steve. "Spaghetti and meatballs", Steve answered me. I closed my eyes again. It felt good to be held. I drifted back into a light sleep.

I woke up just as Steve put me down on a bed. I sat up and glanced around. My room, my bed. "Were you awake the whole time?" He asked me. I shook my head. I really was asleep. I glanced at the door and sighed as I got under the covers. "What is it Clint?" He sat on the bed beside me. "Where's Tasha?" I glanced at the door again. I don't want to be alone but I also don't want Steve. "She's making dinner", he tucked me in before standing up and heading for the door. "Stay", I mumbled. I curled into a ball. He didn't hear me.

I shivered from the cold. I drifted back into a light sleep. "Hail hydra", I heard Jazz whisper to me. I smiled, "what's that mean?" He grinned, "my history teacher thought me about hydra? Did yours not?" I waved my arm which was in a cast at him. He nodded knowingly as he glanced at my black eye. Jasper's was a safe haven compared to being home. I glanced around the lake and back up to the house. No one was home. "Do you have anything to eat?" I asked him. Mom was in hospital and dad spent the days and nights at the pub. "Yeah, here. Hail hydra." He handed me a sandwich. I sighed with relief, "hail hydra". I ate the sandwich as Jazz did his homework. "Ugh, I forgot my calculator. Clint what's 256 divided by 18", Jasper asked me. I grinned, that's a easy one. "14.222 and so on". Jasper shook his head and smiled, "Clint 5 year olds your age can't even add 10 plus 10". I shrugged, no one likes a smart ass. That's how I earned the broken arm. I stared out at the lake for a good while. Jazz checked his watch. "It's getting late, shouldn't you be getting home". I nodded. I waved goodbye as I started walking home. It was an hour walk but it helped relax me before entering WW3.

I woke up to Natasha rubbing my back. A familiar smell of spaghetti and meatballs hit me. I smiled. She held a bowl full of it out to be as I sat up. "Thank you", I felt weak. I yawned as I ate dinner. "You look very pale Clint. It's a pity Bruce isn't here anymore", Natasha placed a hand over my forehead. "No doctors, please Tasha." My eyes drooped. I felt Natasha take the bowl out of my hands. I pouted, I hadn't finished. "I'm sorry but we need to get you to a doctor", Natasha informed me. "Tomorrow", I mumbled as I laid back down. I gripped onto Natasha's shirt. She rubbed her hand over my white knuckles. Natasha laid beside me. I smiled, cuddling into her. Natasha keeps me safe. I could feel the baby moving.

I finally arrived at the front door to the house at 10 o'clock at night. I jumped as I heard creaking on the porch. I hadn't noticed dad sitting there. "Sit", he ordered me. It's best to indulge him. I sat beside him. "I was with your mother today. She's getting better Clint", I smiled slightly. There was times when he was nice. "That's good. I miss her", I admitted. He wrapped an arm around me. "Where were you?" I hesitated, "at a friends". He nodded. "Up to bed now", he smiled at me before kissing my head. "Yes sir", I headed up to my room.

My mind drifted to another memory, not as happy as that one. I shifted in my bed, covering my ears to muffle the screams coming from my parents bedroom. I felt the tears flow down my cheeks. Barney got into bed with me. "Clint don't cry, it makes him angrier", he whispered to me. "I want mom", Barney pulled me close to him. "Be quiet", he put a hand over my mouth to keep me from talking anymore. I screamed into his hand as dad came in.

Natasha shook me awake, I shivered as I clung to her. My breathing slowed down as I realised I'm safe. I felt the hate for my dad build up. He raped her every night. "It's okay, I've got you", she ran a hand through my hair. I don't want this to end. I relaxed into Natasha. Natasha continued whispering sweet nothings into my ear. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shrugged at her question. "Does rape hurt?" Her grip on me tightened. "Yes", Natasha whispered. I felt the tears coming back. "Clint what's wrong? Who was raped?" Natasha sat me up as she talked to me. I shook my head. "Mom", I pulled my knees up to my chest. "I..I should have done something, anything. Her screams terrified us. Anytime we tried we got hurt though. But we...we could of.. We should have done more" I sobbed into Natasha's arms.

"You did more with me. I learnt how to trust men because of you", Natasha admitted to me. I sighed, "yeah but then I betrayed you by being a member of fucking hydra. Being a fucking traitor. I'm just a worthless piece of shit that never should of been born." I pulled my self out of her arms. I don't deserve Natasha. Dad was right about me, I'm a mistake. "Clint don't you dare talk about yourself that way. You are an amazing person. You're a genius. You saved my life Clint. Now yes the whole hydra traitor thing wasn't great but now we fixed you. You're not hydra", Natasha pulled me back into her arms. I yawned and shivered slightly. "Clint you really don't look well, come on I'm getting you to a doctor", Natasha sat up. I wiggled out of her arms and laid back down. "I'm just.." I drifted in and out of sleep. Natasha stood up, she came back shortly with Steve. He lifted me up, carrying me to the car.

"He's malnourished, probably a result of his kidnapping", I heard a doctor say as I woke up. Where am I? I started to panic. "Shh shh Clint it's okay. You're in hospital. You're on a drip, leave it in okay?" Natasha instructed me. I nodded. She held my hand as I drifted back to sleep.

"He's awake", I heard Pepper beaming as I opened my eyes. She gave me a light hug. It felt nice. "You scared us Clint", she held onto my hand just as Natasha had. I glanced around the room. There was a picture of a duck on the wall. Tony sat on the other side of me. I smiled at him. "G'mornin", I yawned. He smiled at me. "Good morning to you too". I feel weak and hungry. "Where's Tasha?" I attempted to get up. Pepper held me down, stopping me from sitting up. "Clint she's gone to the canteen. We had to force her away from your side", Tony told me. "Any chance of breakfast?" I asked them. Tony nodded coming back with a doctor. "Hi Clint, I'm Dr. Platton. You can call me Rebecca. I'm a dietician. I want to talk about introducing some new foods to you", she told me as she pulled a chair up so that she was facing me. I looked at Pepper who nodded in encouragement. "Okay", I said as I turned my attention back to Rebecca. She smiled at me. "Good, how about you start by telling me some foods you love and some foods you hate", she suggested. "I love granola, pizza, pancakes and waffles and I hate eggs, fish, chicken and chow mien". I listed off different foods I like and hate. Rebecca asked me a few more questions. Natasha came in half way through, Tony and Pepper leaving. "Okay that's everything, are you his mom?" Rebecca asked her. "Foster mom", I mumbled as I glanced out the window. When am I getting breakfast? "Right, here's a food plan. If he sticks to it you should notice a difference in his energy levels and weight within a week. Are you going to stick to it Clint?" I shrugged, "we'll see". Natasha sighed at me. "He's a bit stubborn", she smiled at Rebecca as she led her out and thanked her. "Is granola on it, I'm not sticking to it if granola isn't on it", I asked her causing her to laugh. "I wouldn't expect you too. Yes granola and milk for breakfast every day", Natasha smiled as glanced over it. She left the room for the minute before returning with Granola and milk for me. "Thank you Tasha", I ate the granola. Nothing is better than granola.

"Can we watch a movie?" I asked her. Natasha got her laptop and pulled up a movie. I didn't pay much attention to it, falling asleep at the start. This was going to be a long week.

I shifted around in the bed. Apparently I needed a weeks rest. I can't handle it anymore. It's been 6 days. Coulson sat beside me. "Can I just go now?" I begged for the hundred time that week. "No", he didn't even look up from his paperwork. I had followed the food plan, and kept the drip in. That didn't keep the nightmares away. "Can I use your phone?" I asked him. He frowned at me. "For what?" He responded with his own question. Coulson never fully trusted me. Maybe I hurt him the most by being a traitor. "To call Bobbi. Being in here reminded me of the last time I was in hospital. I miss her", I admitted to him. He smiled at me. "I miss Bobbi and Hunter too unfortunately I can't call them unless it's an emergency", he told me. I pouted at him.

"Can we go to the roof?" I asked him. He sighed, "no Clint". He returned his concentration to his paperwork. I sighed. "I'm bored", I dragged out the word bored. "Coulson I'm bored". He laughed, "you never changed". I smiled slightly, "were we close?" He nodded, "I was your handler. I comforted you though a lot." Coulson told me. "I don't believe it was your choice that you were hydra." He told me after a moment of silence. It wasn't. I smiled, "thank you". Coulson got me my breakfast. I ate it in silence. I relaxed in Coulson's company.

"But seriously can I go home?" I asked him after watching a few movies. "Tomorrow Clint", he reassured me. "Where's Tasha?" I asked him. I hadn't seen her since the first day I was brought in here. "She hasn't visited?" He sounded surprised. I shook my head as I wiped the tears away. Natasha doesn't want me. "Clint it's okay, I'll make sure she's here tomorrow to bring you home", Coulson rubbed my back. I want Tasha. I nodded taking in quick shallow breaths. I have to be strong.

Coulson brought me in my dinner. "Thank you", I ate it while watching another movie. I put the plate to the side, glancing over at Coulson. He was asleep, he's getting old. I took the IV out of my arm and put my sneakers on before escaping to the roof. I shivered from the cold but it felt good. I don't like staying still for too long, hence why I hate hospitals. I looked over the edge, feeling my whole body relax. I watched everyone go about their business, not realising I was watching them. I grinned as it started to get dark, I couldn't see the stars though. It's too bright. I missed Iowa for that. Seeing the stars at night is relaxing.

"Clint, you okay?" Natasha stood behind me, wrapping her arms around me. I smiled, it felt nice. "Yeah", I couldn't but think about she hadn't visited in a week. "Where were you? I haven't seen you in a week", I asked her. Natasha ran a hand through my hair. "I was there every night Clint", Natasha smiled at me. I vaguely remembered someone holding my hand. "I wanted to make sure you didn't have nightmares", Natasha said as she let go of me. I pouted. "You're freezing", she commented as she took my hand and led me downstairs. I sighed as we reached my hospital room. "I wanna go home", I climbed into the bed. Natasha held my hand after tucking me in. "One more night Clint. We moved house while you were in here. Tomorrow I'll bring you to the new avengers facility. I hope you like it, you have your own room. It's right next to mine", Natasha informed me. I smiled and imagined what it would look like. "Go to sleep, I'll check you out first thing in the morning. You can go home then", Natasha ran her hand through my hair. "Night", I whispered as I drifted into a deep sleep.

I smiled with relief as I reached Jasper's. I sat by the lake, I don't go inside ever. I skidded stones while waiting on him. Each one hitting the same spot, skidding exactly 3 times. It's all maths. "I still don't get how you do that", Jasper commented. I turned around and noticed his father standing beside him. "Clint you've great aim", he smiled at me. I kept my eyes trained on the ground. "Thank you sir", I spoke loud and clear. "Clint look at me", he ordered me. I looked up at him. "That's better. I want to know how you have such good aim. Jasper has told me about your maths skills. I want to offer to something but nothing comes without a price", he informed me. He had my interest. "I will get a teacher in to teach you physics and maths, in return all you have to do is be thankful for hydra providing it to you." He wanted me to hail hydra. I would be able to go to school. I nodded, "hail hydra".

I woke up in the morning, with hydra on my mind. I still don't see what is so bad about the organisation. They schooled me when mainstream school wouldn't. They fed me. What's bad about that? Natasha smiled at me. I wish I could ask her what hydra did. I can't ask anyone, they'd get suspicious. As far as they know I don't remember hydra. They know that I was friends with hydra that's all. They can't ever know. But I'm not supposed to lie, right? I'm scared though. They killed older Clint for being hydra. "What's on your mind?" Natasha asked me.

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	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26.**

Hydra. I'm still in her arms. Isn't she with Steve? "Are you with Steve? Aren't we married?" I asked Natasha. She sighed slightly. "Clint when older you died. Our marriage was over. Till death do us apart. Steve will never replace the bond I had with you. You saved my life. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. But you're a kid and I can't be in a relationship with a kid. It's disgusting to even think about. Steve is a good guy and more like a friend but he'd also make a really good father." Natasha placed a hand over her bump. She's really getting big. I nodded, it makes sense I guess. Natasha blinked repeatedly, wiping a tear from her eye. "Why are you sad?" I hugged her tightly. "I miss my husband and partner and I fucking hate being pregnant. Stupid hormones" Natasha smiled as she cursed her hormones. "I'm sorry", was the only response I could think was appropriate. "I love you Clint and I always will but when you died I had to move on. It took a while for it to happen but it did". Natasha kissed my forehead. I frowned at her. I still don't like Steve. There's just one flaw to her theory.

"But I'm not dead though!" I snapped at her as I wiggled out of her arms and ran for anywhere that's not Natasha. I don't know this place. I wanna go home. I don't like hospitals. They're too strict and clean. I want my toys and books. I'm sick of watching movies all day long. I slowed down my pace to a stroll, it attracts less attention. I reached the main corridor to the hospital. I sighed with relief and the lack of rainbows and butterflies. Hospitals are not a happy place, no point in trying to make them feel like they are. I shuddered at all the memories of being brought in for all of my 'falls'.

"Are you lost sweetie?" A woman asked me. She looks friendly, I can't trust someone on just there looks though. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers" I repeated the nonsense line I'd heard on the tv a thousand times. My parents never told me such things. "I'm a doctor though so you can trust me", she showed me her badge and gave me another friendly smile. I shook my head and tried to walk away but she held me back. Not too tight but enough to stop me going anywhere. "What's your name?" She asked me. I'm sick of being good. "Clint" I mumbled still trying to get my hand free. "Where's your mom Clint?" She asked me as she let go of my hand. "Dead" I felt my cheeks heating up and tears building in my eyes waiting to escape. Men don't cry. I wasn't allowed cry at moms funeral. Barney kept hitting me every time I did. Kept telling me that men don't cry, that we have to be men now that we're on our own. "There's my foster mom", I pointed at a random woman and ran while the doctor looked the other way. I felt someone pull on my hood as I ran past, stopping me. I looked up to see Tony frowning at me. "Why did you run Clint" Tony questioned me. I shrugged. I ran because I almost told Natasha that I remember Hydra. I can't ever tell her. Tony let it slide. He took my hand and led me back to my hospital bed. "You're going home today. You'll get to see the new avengers facility." Tony smiled as he told me. I grinned, finally that's all I wanted.

Natasha still had red marks on her cheeks when we came in. She had packed up all my stuff. I grabbed the food schedule and put it in the bin. "Nice try kiddo but we have plenty more where that came from", Tony laughed at my attempt to get rid of that awful food plan.

Tony and Natasha's phones buzzed at the same time. Tony sighed and glanced at me. I know that look my now. They have a mission. "Can I stay with Pepper?" I asked them. Natasha nodded, "yes, I don't think there is anywhere else really. Phil has is own team and missions to sort out".

We diverted to Stark industries. "The press are going to have a field day seeing you with Pepper", Tony said with a slight nervous laugh. Knowing it would be Pepper left to clean it up. Tony pulled up in a more secretive location. I got out with Tony and held his hand as he let me to the lift. "I don't have time to go up with you Clint, Pepper will be right there waiting for you once the lift opens. Don't worry about anyone else coming into the lift. Only Pepper and I have access to the lift", Tony instructed me as he pressed the highest number on the lift controls. "Okay", I smiled as I hugged him. It's only a week till Christmas. "I hope we're home before Christmas, I'm going to spoil you kiddo", Tony grinned as he kissed my forehead. I grinned. "Can't wait", I replied as the lift closed.

Pepper was waiting for me as the lift opened. She bent down to my level, "anyone asks you're my nephew and they're going to ask". She stood back up and took my hand leading me to her office. I glanced back towards the lift. I never said bye to Natasha. "I know I hate when they have to suddenly take off too", Pepper rubbed her thumb over the back of my hand. I smiled up at her. "Who is this?" A lady with red hair asked Pepper. "Donna this is Clint Potts. My nephew. He's spending Christmas with us", Pepper responded to her. "Clint say hi", Pepper reminded me to be polite. "Hi Donna", I smiled at her and gave her a small wave. "Aww he's so cute. How old are you?" She asked me. I held up 8 fingers as I told her my age. "Can you stay with him for a sec? I need a coffee" Pepper asked her. Donna smiled and nodded to Pepper. "Are you enjoying the Christmas break?" Donna asked me. I giggled and nodded. "Are you excited for Christmas? What's Santa bringing you?" Donna asked me another question. Santa isn't real. Do 8 year olds believe in Santa? "Uncle Tony and Aunt Pepper are getting me presents. Not Santa. I haven't asked him for anything", I told her. Donna smiled sympathetically at me. "That's okay, I'm sure Tony and Pepper will spoil you anyways". Pepper returned with a cup of coffee in her hand, "Thanks Donna". Donna smiled and got back to her work.

"Pepper, is Santa coming to me? Donna asked me but I said he wasn't because I didn't ask him for anything. She looked slightly shocked." I pondered to her. Pepper smiled at me, "you have to write him a letter and he'll bring you what you ask for". I frowned slightly, sitting down opposite her desk. "But he's not real", I wish there was a Santa. "I used to write to him but he never brought anything. Dad said he wasn't real. Then he.." I stopped myself, feeling a shiver coming over me. Pepper doesn't want to know. Pepper got up and sat down beside me. "Well that's not going to happen this year", I climbed into her lap as she continued talking, "Tony and I are going to spoil you as if you were our own child. You deserve it. We have to make up for lost Christmases". Pepper gave me a sheet of paper and a pencil. "Draw a picture". I pouted, I'm not a baby.

"Here you go", I said as I handed my picture to her. "It's a design for a garden for the new house we're moving into", I pointed out what everything was. "And what's that?" Pepper asked pointing to the corner of the picture. "Lucky", I smiled, "my dog. I mean if I had a dog. I'd name him Lucky". Pepper gave me that smile saying you're not getting a dog. "That's very nice. Clint I have a lot of work to do. You're going to have to find something to do and not distract me. If you're hungry there is food in the mini fridge", Pepper had a lot of planning for something called the Maria Stark Foundation. I sighed and sat down opposite her. I watched the spiny thing on her desk go around for a while. I looked around her office, smiling when I found a book. It's an accountancy book but it's something.

"It's Christmas Eve, are you excited for tomorrow Clint?" Pepper asked me as she gently woke me up. We were staying in her apartment beside Stark Industries. I groaned, "it's only 5am". Pepper is dressed in a grey professional dress and 6 inch heels already. Her hair and makeup was already done as well. "We have to go to the office, we'll be back by 4 I promise", Pepper said as she picked out my clothes and helped me get dressed. Pepper took my top off and gasped slightly. "What's wrong?" I whispered, still half asleep. "Nothing it's fine", Pepper reassured me. "You can get into your pants yourself", Pepper told me. I took them into the bathroom with me.

"Clint?" Pepper called to me. I blinked repeatedly. "Mmm" I mumbled, still half asleep. "Breakfast is on the table". I ate breakfast and fell back asleep in the car. I followed Pepper up to her office. The team still hadn't came home yet. They left very urgently. I sat down watching out side for a while, before getting up and taking a piece of paper from Peppers desk. "Is it too late to write a letter to Santa? He brings you whatever you wish for right?" I glanced at the clock as I asked her. It's 2 o clock. "No it's not too late", Pepper smiled at me. I took a pen and wrote a letter to Santa.

Dear Santa,

I wish for my family to be home for Christmas.

From Clint Barton.

"Here", I handed Pepper the letter. I know he's not real but it's the hope I need. I miss Natasha and everyone else. Pepper read my letter, she got a tissue and wiped her eyes. "I miss them to Clint", Pepper pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back, holding back tears. It felt good to get a hug. Pepper doesn't hug me as much as Natasha does. She has a lot of work to do all the time. "Can I call Natasha?" I asked her although I already know the answer. She shook her head. "I'll call Maria, she might have an idea of when they'll be home", Pepper took up her phone and made the call.

"Clint I'm sorry. It's going to be at least another 2 weeks before they get home", Pepper informed me. I nodded, "okay". I hate Santa. Stupid childish ideas. I pulled away and sulked on the couch.

"It's time for bed Clint", Pepper told me after my bath. I shrugged, "whatever". I crawled under the blankets. I hid my tears from Pepper. I want Tasha. Men don't cry, men don't cry men don't cry.

I ran downstairs with Barney. "I hope I got the Legos I asked for", I squealed with excitement. We charged into the sitting room only to find dad passed out. He woke up from us barging in. "Clint run", Barney warned me. Where's our presents? It's Christmas. Dad threw me against the door frame, I slipped on a his hat that he dropped on the floor when he came in. I felt a kick to the stomach before waking up in hospital.

"Clint can you hear us?" I heard a nurse ask me. I looked at her. "Yeah", I can hear her. Mom was crying and Barney looked fed up of being here. I'm going to be in more trouble for having to go to hospital.

"Get in", dad screamed as he shoved me into the box. I screamed, "no..no..please..no..please dad no..s..s. please don't close it". Dad only laughed. "You useless piece of shit".

"Clint..Clint wake up. Clint you're safe", Pepper rubbed my back as she woke me up. I can't breath. It's too dark in here. I could feel myself shaking. I looked up at Pepper with eyes filled with terror. I reached up and gave her a panicky hug. "I'm scared", she already knows that but I feel the need to say it out loud. Pepper wrapped her arms around me and ran a hand through my hair. "Pepper...roof", I took in deep shaky breaths. "I don't have access to the roof Clint", Pepper apologised to me. No, I need to go to the roof. "Tasha. I want Tasha", I yawned in between tears. "I'm sorry Clint. We can't call her," Pepper to,d me as she stood up to turn on the lights. I blinked at how bright it was. It helped slightly though. "I'm afraid of the dark", I confessed to her. "What about it scares you?" Pepper asked me, encouraging me to talk. "The inherent absence of light", I smiled a little. I listened to Peppers heartbeat. The constant sound is relaxing.

"Let's go downstairs", Pepper suggested when I calmed down enough to not have a panic attack at any given minute. "Okay", I tried to forget how similar this is to my dream. My mouth dropped at the amount of presents. I opened them one by one with a grin never leaving my face. There's even a bike and a flat screen tv. I thanked Pepper for each present.

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	27. Chapter 27

Tony walked into Pepper's office, the cuts and bruises on his face showed that it was a rough mission. I glanced behind him, there was no sign of Natasha. Pepper's smile radiated her relief that her boyfriend is safe. She kissed him, Tony placed his hand on her waist. I waited until they were done before hugging Tony. I missed him. Especially on Christmas. Pepper asked Tony how the mission went, I looked past him again. Where's Natasha? "She's in the car", Tony smiled at me. I let out a breath. She's safe. Natasha is safe.

I ran ahead of Tony and Pepper as we went to the car. I missed Natasha the most. I got in the back with Natasha. She didn't acknowledge me. "I missed you", I told her as I reached for her arm. I suddenly felt nervous. Natasha pulled away from me. Why is she acting like this? I didn't do anything wrong.

Tony opened the door for me as we reached the new facility. Natasha got out and walked straight in. Why won't she talk to me? "It's not you Clint. Her baby was given a 10% chance of living. The serum the red room gave her is slowly killing the baby." Tony informed me as he took my bags from the car. I helped carry some of the lighter ones. I'm surprised Tony didn't make the suit carry them. The baby can't die. "Does she need a hug?" I asked unsure what to do. "It might help", Tony brought me to my room. He told me to stay there. Then again when do I ever follow rules. "Can I go see Tasha?" I gave Tony my best puppy dog eyes. He sighed and nodded. "Clint I'd be worried if you did". Tony smiled as he showed me to Natasha's room.

I knocked on the door before entering her room. It felt unfamiliar. The room is decorated in greys and whites. It has an expensive look to it all. Natasha was just lying on the bed, this news about her child has really taken a toll on her. She knows I'm here. She always does. I climbed onto the bed from the end. There's nothing I could say that would comfort her right now. I laid down beside Natasha as I placed a hand on her stomach. We fell into a comfortable silence. "We're fighters. It's a fighter. It'll make it", I reassured her. I looked into Natasha's eyes to see her blinking back tears. "Even after everything you're the only one who is able to comfort me and the only one who I feel like I can be myself around, not the team, not even Steve. I'm sorry I tried to replace you. I do need some adult company once in a while though." Natasha whispered to me. That's fair.

My mind drifted back to my dreams last night. Hydra. "I wonder where Jasper is now" Natasha glared at me. Shit did I say that out loud. "Why do you wonder where Jasper is?" She asked me in a threatening tone. "Because I dreamt about him last night. I was remembering past memories", at least that's the truth. Please don't ask for details. Natasha ran a hand through my hair, I let out a breath. "You look terrified Clint" Natasha said pointing out how I feel. I can't help it. Even if I try to hide it she'll see right through it. "I am", I mumbled into her chest. I could feel my body shaking slightly. I can't look Nat in the eye. "What are you terrified of?" Natasha gently lifted my chin up. She has her black widow facade on. I shook my head, no I can't say it. They'll kill me. Natasha will kill me. "I..I don't want to die", I can't hold the tears back any longer. "You remember hydra?" Natasha asked me but it was more of a statement. She gripped onto my wrist. "Ow", her grip is too tight. "I can't have you running", Natasha informed me. That didn't stop me from trying to get my wrist free. "Tasha let go. Please stop. Tasha it hurts...it hurts", I pleaded with her. "I won't run. I promise." Natasha sighed and let go of my wrist, wrapping her arms around my waist. Dad used to do that. He broke my rib once.

"I wanna go to the roof", I mumbled as I felt my chest tighten. Natasha shook her head, "no". There's no way she's letting go of me. "I..I don't remember hydra. I remember jasper mentioning the name a couple times that's all. His history teacher thought him about it. It was a joke. I didn't believe it was real", that's the truth. "You're telling the truth", Natasha more to confirm it to herself. Natasha relaxed slightly. I cuddled into her, she's not letting me go so I might as well relax. I wiggled around in Natasha's grip, finding her phone. It's January 6th. My birthday is tomorrow. They haven't mentioned it. I wouldn't dare complain. I sighed as I looked at the home screen. "What is it Clint?" Natasha asked me. Be a good boy. Don't complain. Children should be seen not heard. "I'm hungry", I haven't eaten since breakfast. "Oh shit the food plan", Natasha said as she sat up.

I followed Natasha to the common area. I clung to her side. This doesn't feel like home. There is too many people around. We passed by a conference room, a dining area, a living area and finally made it to the kitchen. It's all an open plan. There's a lot of natural lighting. I wiped eyes with my sleeve. It's a lot brighter than Tasha's room. "Clint sit down. I don't want to be tripping over you while I make your pasta and salad", Natasha instructed me. I sat down at the island. I hate salad. It's disgusting, it's leaves. I looked around checking for exits and possible ways to get to the roof. This is more of a dinner than a lunch at this stage. Natasha added in some meatballs to the pasta. "Thank you", I said as I ate my dinner. Natasha ate the same as me.

"Can I go see Tony and Pepper before bed?" I asked Natasha when I finished eating. When she nodded, I ran for the door. I hesitated for a second, "where's Pepper and Tony's room?" Natasha laughed. "I was waiting for that". Natasha showed me to it. I knocked and waited for a reply.

"Come in", Pepper called from inside. Natasha smiled at me as she headed off. My jaw dropped slightly at their room. It's massive. It looks like a Royal bedroom. "You like it?" I nodded in response to Peppers question. I sat down the seat in front of the bed, Pepper was taking her make up off. "Can we do something tomorrow Pepper, like the whole team?" I asked her, watching her reflection in the mirror. "Tony and I have a lot of work to do on our new home, a lot of stuff to sort out. Maybe another day", Pepper responded to me. Another day isn't my birthday though. My smile dropped. "Ah pep you made the kid pout", Tony said as he came out of the bathroom in a towel. I giggled slightly. "That's okay, good night Pepper. Good night Tony", I said with a yawn. I crawled onto their bed and lay down on Tony's side. "Kid good night but go to your own bed", Tony laughed at me. I pretended to sleep, making snoring noises.

I giggled before sitting up. I slowly headed for the door. "Can one of yous go with me? Not that I'm scared. I just don't know my way around", I asked them. Pepper smiled at me. "Of course Clint, come on" Pepper responded. I smiled as Pepper tucked me in. I felt another yawn come over me as I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up without any nightmares. That's surprising considering I'm in somewhere new. I went to find Natasha. It's my birthday. I wonder if she has a present. I don't normally get to make much of deal out of my birthday, Bobbi promised me last year that I could celebrate and I think the avengers feel the same way. "Good morning", I grinned as I woke Natasha up. Quite a dangerous thing but I couldn't help it. Natasha wrapped me up in a hug. I relaxed into her. "What are we doing today? Something exciting" I asked her as my stomach growled. "Ugh I wish. I have to train the new recruits. I'll see if you can spend the day with Tony and Pepper", Natasha informed me. I pouted, "Tony and Pepper are busy today. I want you". Natasha sighed as she got up, taking her phone with her. I wiped my eyes. I looked around there is no sign of a present.

I followed Natasha to the kitchen area, just like I did the night before. I clung to her side. Why did she have to train the new recruits today? Natasha continued to text and call people, presumably finding somewhere for me to go. She doesn't want me. "Alright Clint you're spending the day with Coulson or Steve", Natasha gave me the choice. I shook my head, neither. "But it's...Will I see you later?" I asked hopeful. Natasha smiled and nodded, "since you're so keen on it. Yes".

"Coulson will be here in 10 minutes. He's bringing you to his base. You'll get to meet his team", Natasha told me as she picked out my clothes. "No I want to wear that", I said pointing at something fancier than a tracksuit. Natasha obliged me and took out the jeans and shirt. "Thank you", I commented as she left the room.

"You ready Clint?" Coulson asked me as I waited for him on the couch in the sitting room area. "Yeah", I followed him into his red old fashioned car named Lola. I sighed as watched scenery go by. I miss my mom. At least she remembered my birthday. "What's on your mind Clint?" Coulson questioned my silence. "Nothing", don't complain. Never complain. I always end up hurt when I do. "What are we doing today?" I asked him, changing the subject.

"We're spending the day at the base. The team is very excited to meet you, Clint", Coulson told me as we pulled in. I took in a sharp breath. "Are they nice?", I asked exhaling. I got out of the car and followed Coulson down the corridor. He had parked in the base. "Welcome on board Clint", an Asian woman greeted us. I trained my eyes on the ground. Coulson never answered me. "It's not polite to ignore people Clint", Coulson whispered to me as he bent down to my level. I looked up at the woman then back at Coulson. "Sorry", I mumbled. "It's okay Coulson, he's shy. No harm in that." The woman told him. I followed them to a lounging area. More people that I don't know. Great.

"That's Mac, Daisy, Fitz and Simmons. They're are more around somewhere. This is Clint", Coulson introduced us. "Hi", I whispered as I hid behind Coulson. Coulson informed us that he had paperwork to attend to and left me with his team. I glanced around, checking for all exits. "Clint sit down, you can have a go next. It's rayman. It's old but it's a classic.", Daisy smiled and offered me a seat. It's a video game. They're playing it on the Ps4. She took out a root beer and handed it to me. "It's all we have right now, sorry". I laid back on the couch and sighed.

I grinned as I played video games all day with Daisy. Fitz and Simmons cooked us all dinner. "Thanks for dinner", I smiled as I took a bite.

"Alright Clint time to go. It's getting late. It's already 7 and probably 8 by he time we get you home", Coulson called. I put on my shoes and jumped up. "Ready", I told him as we got into Lola. Coulson still hasn't mentioned my birthday. Don't complain.

"Natasha. I played video games all day and had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner." I told her as she drank a cup of coffee while scrolling through tv channels. Natasha smiled as she offered for me to sit on her lap. I smiled and leant into her. "It's time for bed soon okay?" I pouted, "I still haven't got my present yet though". Natasha frowned. "What present?" She just confirmed it. "You weren't here for Christmas. Now you forget my birthday", I felt a few tears flow down my cheeks. I ran off. It doesn't matter. Birthdays mean nothing anyways. I just got my hopes up, twice and they me let me down.

"No one remembered", I sobbed into Natasha's chest as she found me in my room. "Clint I simply forgot what day it was. I have your present its in the wardrobe in my room." Natasha apologised to me. "You should have told me earlier", Natasha smiled down at me. "I wanted to but I was scared". I laid down in the bed. "D..do I get the or is it late?" I asked with a stutter. The feeling of dread washing over me. Natasha helped me to sit up, "wait right here. I'll be back in a second". I smiled as she left to go get my present.

Natasha came back with a long box wrapped in purple wrapping paper. I grinned as I opened it. I struggled a little with the tape. "It's a bow", I exclaimed with excitement. "Thank you, this is the best birthday present ever", I hugged Natasha. I ran my fingers over the string and the purple strip in the handle. "You can use it in the morning, but it's late so it's bed time", Natasha placed the bow to the side. "Night", I yawned as I fell asleep.

It's dark. My stomach rumbled, been a few days since I'd eaten. Barney got me cereal yesterday. Was it yesterday? I lost track of time. I tried to straighten my legs out. Can't move, no room. Dark. Too dark. Focus. I recited pi to the 1000th decimal to myself. I want to scream, to get help but no one will come. My mouth is too dry. I need a drink. It stinks in here. I couldn't hold it in. I had to piss. Smelly and dark.

I blinked my eyes open, I can see light outside my room. Wet. I feel damp. I pulled the blankets off. Fuck. "Only babies wet the bed", I mumbled to myself. I don't know what to do. I stripped off the wet pyjamas pants. I'm 9 I'm not supposed to wet the bed. I could feel my breathing speed up. I'm gonna be hit. They're going to punish me. 9 year olds don't wet the bed. It's too dark in here, I switched on the light blinking as my eyes adjusted. I stripped the sheets from the bed. I have to wash them. I've never seen anyone of the avengers washing clothes. I put on a fresh pair of pyjama pants and crept out the door. Natasha wouldn't tease for it right? I don't know. I glanced at the clock, it's 3am. I kicked the damp sheets into a corner. Where is Natasha's room? I opened my bed room door, thankful that the light was on out here. I made sure to shut the door behind me. I don't know which room is hers. I can't remember. Tony and Pepper is at the end of the hallway. I ran down the hallway and slowly creeped their door open. Both of them are fast asleep. I crept over to Peppers side of the bed. I can't do it. I snuck back out. I want Natasha. I trust Natasha more. I walked back down to my room. Tony said Natasha was near my room. I checked the room opposite me, it's Natasha. I sighed with relief. She's still asleep. I crawled onto her bed and cuddled up to her. Despite the knife to my throat, I relaxed slightly. "Jesus Clint I could've killed you", Natasha exclaimed, no evidence that she was asleep a minute ago. "I'm sorry", I hugged into her. Natasha wrapped an arm around me while the other on rubbed circles through my hair. "Shh I've got you. You're safe now. What happened? Talk to me", Natasha spoke gently and softly to me. "I didn't mean to do it. I'm sorry", I sobbed wetting her top with my tears. "What did you do Clint?" Natasha asked me again. "I.I wet t.t. bed", I squeezed my eyes shut expecting to be hit. Would she do it already? The waiting is nerve wrecking. "Just hit me and it get it over with", I mumbled through shaking breaths. "I'm not going to hit you Clint", Natasha rubbed my back. It felt nice. "You're not? But only babies wet the bed", I'm confused. "What happened before you wet the bed?" Natasha questioned me. Dark. Can't move, don't scream. "Box", Natasha understood what I meant. "See you had a nightmare. There's no shame in that. I won't tell anyone Clint", Natasha reassured me. I smiled slightly as I relaxed and felt like going back to sleep. "Can I sleep in here?" I asked her. Natasha nodded and closed her eyes. I played with the arrow necklace she had on before going back to sleep.

I woke up feeling quite refreshed. I glanced at the clock, 5am. I smirked as I got the perfect idea to get Pepper back for waking me up at 5am for the last two weeks. I carefully slid out of Natasha's bed and made the short journey to Tony and Peppers room. I covered my mouth to hide my laughter. They'd both be wide a awake in a few minutes. I crawled onto their bed from the bottom, jumping my way to the top. "Wake up. It's morning time", I exclaimed with a chuckle. "Ugh", Tony rolled away from me. Pepper groaned as she opened her eyes to stare at me. I leant on Pepper as I jumped onto my knees. "It's 5am. Go back to sleep", Tony moaned as he pulled me down beside him. I shook Pepper, "but it's morning. Will you make me brekkie?" Pepper groaned, "Tony it's your turn. I minded him for 2 weeks". I laughed at them, they sounded like an old married couple. Tony yawned as he sat up in the bed, pulling on a pair of boxers and sweats. He got an old band t shirt from wardrobe, putting that on as well.

"You don't normally come barging in at 5 AM, so why this time?" Tony asked me as we walked to the kitchen. "Pepper woke me up at 5am everyday for the last two weeks. I decided to do the same to her, I ended up just punishing you though", I shrugged. "Why couldn't you get Natasha up?" Tony groaned as he took out the granola and a glass for my milk. I helped by getting the milk from the fridge. "She's pregnant, remember?" I said in a flat tone. "Oh so it's movie night tonight. We're watching It with Steve and I just got the best idea. We're getting you a yellow rain jacket and red doc martens. Oh and a balloon" Tony rambled on. I don't know why he wants to get me a balloon, a rain jacket and Doc martens. I sighed and ate my breakfast.

 **Thanks for reading xx**


	28. Chapter 28

I sat on Natasha's lap as the team was gathered around to watch It. "This really appropriate for Clint", Steve asked Tony. Tony shrugged, "it's not really. If get scared stop watching". I watched the scene with Georgie. He ran along chasing his boat. Something I did in Iowa. I jumped when the clown appeared as Georgie looked down the sewer for his boat. Natasha smiled at me and tickled my side. The clown ate him. I curled into Natasha's side, facing away from the tv. Natasha's not too comfy anymore, her belly is in the way. I crawled around so that I could lie behind her.

Half way through the movie, I went to my room. Nobody questioned me. I got into the outfit Tony got me and took the balloon. I silently walked back in and stood in the corner behind the door. "Steve can you close the door, Clint left it open", Natasha asked Steve. Tony had a camera set up. Natasha wasn't in on it but she's playing along. Just as Steve closed the door he spotted me. "You'll float too Steve, you'll float too. YOU'LL FLOAT TOO". Steve jumped back and gave off a little scream. Everyone burst into laughter. I grinned as I gave Tony a high five.

"Can I keep the doc martens?" I asked Tony, giving him puppy dog eyes. "Well they don't fit me. Of course you can keep them. As well as the jacket", Tony hugged me. I grinned as I he lifted me up. I handed Tony the balloon. His hand hovered over the string before taking it off of me. Pepper looked at us in shock. I frowned at her. All I did was hand Tony a balloon. Natasha smiles at us too. Pepper takes a photo of us.

"Can you read me a bed time story?" I asked him. Natasha had changed my sheets earlier. She didn't tell anyone, that I am grateful for. Pepper and Natasha made an aww sound. "It better not be a little kiddy story", Tony commented as he led to my room. I don't really need a bedtime story. I just don't want It to show up. I have enough fears. I'm not picking out a book. "Can we play the numbers game?" I grinned as I changed out of the Georgie outfit. Tony smiled, "how do we play?" I jumped onto my bed, sitting beside Tony. "You say a number, I double it and you double that number and so on", I smiled and how relaxed I felt being around someone with the same IQ level.

"Okay I'll start 78", Tony smirked. Of course he wouldn't start of easy.

"156", I answered immediately. Tony smiled, "312".

"624". "1248". "2496". "4992". "9984". "19968", Tony answered. "Clint we're just going to keep going on and on". I smiled. "Tony if you don't know the answer you can use a calculator". Tony scoffed at me, "39,936. I don't need a calculator."

"Can you tell me a story now? Or teach me something new?" I asked him. Tony thought about it for a moment. "Okay I'll teach you about radioactivity, just get under the covers first", I got under the covers as Tony told me to. I listened as he began teaching me about radioactivity.

"Is it okay to be smart? Dad always hit me when I acted smart. I had to hide it. Said no one liked a smart ass" I confessed to him as I rubbed circles on the hand he had wrapped around me. Tony thought about what I said for a while before answering me, "people spend their entire lives wishing they could be as smart as you or me, Clint. Your dad was jealous and possibly intimidated by you". I yawned, "Night Tony".

 **Thanks for reading xx**


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